Well, the first one was at least vaguely amusing, if hardly original.
And then the second was... the first one done again. It was even still toast. You couldn't even change that it was about toast? Also, should probably be called "signs your roommate needs to consider the Subway diet".
I'll stick with the 101 Rules for the truly good power-metal humor, thanks!
If Krig did have a pony tail, it would be able to utter protection spells on him as he fought. It would also have a sense of humor and pinch his nipples when he was trying to be serious.