So I'm at the supermarket too...


Apr 17, 2001
Istanbul, TURKEY
.... and I make sure the trolley full of meat and bottles of alcohol is now in perfect balance for a sprint through the exit. The loot must be over $500 now, which means we’ve got even with the owner of the store, who sold me a bubble gum the day before with double price! What will I do with all the meat and alcohol? I’ve no idea, maybe I’ll dump it into the river, maybe I’ll donate it to starving Hungarians… no idea… The only thing on my mind now is to rush past those doors into the car park!

I take a final turn and face the exit, only 20 meters away… The only thing between me and the doors is a stupid-looking man shuffling through the pages of a soft porn magazine. Ignoring him, I take a deep breath and launch forward. Just as I’m about to dash through the doors, I hear a woman crying her lungs out “Aiiieeee, thiiiiefff! Stop the thieeefff! This is so terrriibbllee! I think I’m gonna faint!!! Stop him!!!”. The ultrahigh-pitched waves of contorted sound fall like needles on my eardrum and I feel dizzy for a moment, but the adrenalin keeps me going…

I make it to the car park but now I know that everyone in the store is alerted… even that stupid guy with the constant drool must have shaken out of his preoccupation. I have the speed and the stamina to disappear with the trolley but I change my mind. I can get even with the storeowner any time I want. I have to get even with the bitch first… So I drive the trolley between two cars and sneak under the truck right next to my bait.

Seconds later, 3 people run out of the market… 2 security personnel, and… uh, the Porn Man (tm)?

But where’s the bitch?! The Porn Man (tm) is glued to the left arm of one of the security guys, delivering nervous glances around the park, his gaping mouth twisted in panic, drool starting to dry up along its sides. The security guy is literally dragging him along, seemingly irritated by his incessant whining. They get close… too close. I’m on the trigger, ready to run for my life in case they do find me here. But they spot the trolley and now it’s the sole focus of all their attention. Now I can hear the Porn Man (tm) clearly “Aaaww, I was so scared! How hoorrrible!!! Am I gonna be awarded? Say, may I take a couple of porn mags? Please?”.

So the bitch is the Porn Man (tm)!

Having ruined my revenge is enough of a sacrilege, but that god-awful shriek deserves even worse punishment! All right…

They take the trolley and walk back to the store. Several minutes later, the Porn Man (tm) leaves with two mags and a can of mineral water in his hands. He passes by the truck, complaining to himself “Aaww, this is such a cruel world, such little prize for such a great bravery”.

I wait till he gains some distance, then I carefully leave my hideout to follow the rat to its hole.

I promise myself as I climb up the steps after him, I will give him his prize; I’ll blow a bottle of Smirnoff up his ass.
"Awwwwwww" what a fine story...:lol:
Oi!!!!! That's not how it happened at all, bitch!!
Firstly, the guy was a big strong evil rogue, not a feeble girl like you!!:heh:
Secondly, I was NOT looking at porn!!!:deb:

I must admit though, I did check my car mirror all the way home in case I was followed and attacked with a baseball bat or something!!!;)

A very nice story, but not quite how I remember it:lol: :lol: :lol:

You people need to learn yourself some respect for a true hero:heh:
Originally posted by tcall
Oi!!!!! That's not how it happened at all, bitch!!
Firstly, the guy was a big strong evil rogue, not a feeble girl like you!!:heh:

Hmmm, Timmy, you sound like you need a second Smirnoff :heh: ;) :D
Originally posted by tcall

It's quite obvious from your constant bashing of me that you're all jealous of my achievement this week:heh:

But why..?
If someone jealous it's you...
Why are you jealous of Evrim...?
Is it because that he is funnier than you are this week...:heh: