Here are some commentaries I found:
In Flames' Jester Race, an object lesson in filth...
You think anyone in their right mind would listen to In Flames all day? Track three, Artifacts Of The Black Rain? No, no, no, no and no. Horrible. Like a dawn chorus of cows slowly being ground into mince for the cheap meat market. To be honest, it's been a long time since I've heard an album quite this bad. I do this for a living, and you won't believe the shit you get sent as the 'Next Big Thing'. Take track 5, Lord Hypnos for example - if I'd wanted a recording of a boil on backside of the gentle 70s synthesiser pap used to make porn more interesting I'd have asked for it. Take it away and put it out of it's misery. Please.
Track seven, The Jester Race is so so. So, so, so fucking awful, that is. The CD age is a boon to music reviewers - the skip track function was designed specifically to alleviate the sound of track eight, December Flower. In Flames sound like 'Ben' played backwards through a pig's rectum throughout the apocalyptic mess that is track 9, Wayfaerer.
In fact, I'm scared In Flames will reproduce and foist a new generation of crud on us.
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You like In Flames? Oh dear. You're not going to like what I thought of Lunar Strain//Subterranean ...
You've probably guessed that I don't like In Flames very much. It's due to being assaulted by things like the sickening crunch of fist into nose experienced nightly outside most nightclubs, or the opening track, Behind Space as it is known on the back of CD. Sticking my fingers in my ears made track two, Lunar Strain sound a whole lot better, but not as much as putting an axe through my CD player. Luckily my PC at work has no sound card. I've been happily playing Starforsaken all afternoon with no ill effects to myself.
The lyrics of Dreamscape would make better sense written on a urinal wall - at least you could piss on them. Track 5, Everlost (Part I)? No, no, no, no and no. Horrible. Like my own personal hell. Track 7, Hargalaten should have been left off this album. It's marginally better than the rest and, frankly, only draws attention to their simplistic banality.
In fact, I'm unable to understand how people can pay money to be tortured in this way.
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I've tried to wipe In Flames' Whoracle from my mind, but, for you, here's what I can remember...
Track three, Gyroscope sounds more like the sort of thing you'd play to a blind man to make them appreciate the lot of a deaf and blind man than it really should. Hive made my cat sick. Twice. I think I'm going to sue. Only an exploding zit gently squirting sebum into your brain could compare to track six, Jester Script Transfigured.
I've heard better tunes than track seven, Morphing Into Primal from my digital watch, on the hour, every hour. Nine years of therapy and still I'm reduced to a gibbering wreck by things like track 8, Worlds Within the Margin. Track nine, Episode 666 sounds like the last gasp of a boiling lobster.
In fact, this should've been put down years ago.
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What do I think about Clayman by In Flames? I'll tell you what I think...
Six years of therapy and still I'm reduced to a gibbering wreck by things like the opening track, Bullet Ride. Why I bothered with the rest of Only For The Weak after listening to the first eight seconds of a coked-up Andrew Lloyd-Webber writing a never-ending stream of musical obscenities dribbling through my ears and out onto the carpet I don't know. Track 4, As The Future Repeats Today is so so. So, so, so fucking awful, that is.
Luckily my PC at work has no sound card. I've been happily playing track six, Clay Man all afternoon with no ill effects to myself. Like something my cat brought in, but couldn't be bothered to kill, Sattelites And Astonauts is only really listenable after carefully inserting your fists into your ears. Don't worry about getting them out again - there's more on this album you'll want to not hear too. Track 9, Swim is simply terrible. That's it, no further explanation needed.
In fact, I wish In Flames had never been born.
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Another excerpt:
Luckily a glitch on the CD caused Goliaths Disarm Their Davids to skip and refuse to play. Well, at least I hope that is what was happening - for all I know that was what In Flames intended it to sound like.
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Steve
In Flames' Jester Race, an object lesson in filth...
You think anyone in their right mind would listen to In Flames all day? Track three, Artifacts Of The Black Rain? No, no, no, no and no. Horrible. Like a dawn chorus of cows slowly being ground into mince for the cheap meat market. To be honest, it's been a long time since I've heard an album quite this bad. I do this for a living, and you won't believe the shit you get sent as the 'Next Big Thing'. Take track 5, Lord Hypnos for example - if I'd wanted a recording of a boil on backside of the gentle 70s synthesiser pap used to make porn more interesting I'd have asked for it. Take it away and put it out of it's misery. Please.
Track seven, The Jester Race is so so. So, so, so fucking awful, that is. The CD age is a boon to music reviewers - the skip track function was designed specifically to alleviate the sound of track eight, December Flower. In Flames sound like 'Ben' played backwards through a pig's rectum throughout the apocalyptic mess that is track 9, Wayfaerer.
In fact, I'm scared In Flames will reproduce and foist a new generation of crud on us.
---
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You like In Flames? Oh dear. You're not going to like what I thought of Lunar Strain//Subterranean ...
You've probably guessed that I don't like In Flames very much. It's due to being assaulted by things like the sickening crunch of fist into nose experienced nightly outside most nightclubs, or the opening track, Behind Space as it is known on the back of CD. Sticking my fingers in my ears made track two, Lunar Strain sound a whole lot better, but not as much as putting an axe through my CD player. Luckily my PC at work has no sound card. I've been happily playing Starforsaken all afternoon with no ill effects to myself.
The lyrics of Dreamscape would make better sense written on a urinal wall - at least you could piss on them. Track 5, Everlost (Part I)? No, no, no, no and no. Horrible. Like my own personal hell. Track 7, Hargalaten should have been left off this album. It's marginally better than the rest and, frankly, only draws attention to their simplistic banality.
In fact, I'm unable to understand how people can pay money to be tortured in this way.
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I've tried to wipe In Flames' Whoracle from my mind, but, for you, here's what I can remember...
Track three, Gyroscope sounds more like the sort of thing you'd play to a blind man to make them appreciate the lot of a deaf and blind man than it really should. Hive made my cat sick. Twice. I think I'm going to sue. Only an exploding zit gently squirting sebum into your brain could compare to track six, Jester Script Transfigured.
I've heard better tunes than track seven, Morphing Into Primal from my digital watch, on the hour, every hour. Nine years of therapy and still I'm reduced to a gibbering wreck by things like track 8, Worlds Within the Margin. Track nine, Episode 666 sounds like the last gasp of a boiling lobster.
In fact, this should've been put down years ago.
---
---
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What do I think about Clayman by In Flames? I'll tell you what I think...
Six years of therapy and still I'm reduced to a gibbering wreck by things like the opening track, Bullet Ride. Why I bothered with the rest of Only For The Weak after listening to the first eight seconds of a coked-up Andrew Lloyd-Webber writing a never-ending stream of musical obscenities dribbling through my ears and out onto the carpet I don't know. Track 4, As The Future Repeats Today is so so. So, so, so fucking awful, that is.
Luckily my PC at work has no sound card. I've been happily playing track six, Clay Man all afternoon with no ill effects to myself. Like something my cat brought in, but couldn't be bothered to kill, Sattelites And Astonauts is only really listenable after carefully inserting your fists into your ears. Don't worry about getting them out again - there's more on this album you'll want to not hear too. Track 9, Swim is simply terrible. That's it, no further explanation needed.
In fact, I wish In Flames had never been born.
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Another excerpt:
Luckily a glitch on the CD caused Goliaths Disarm Their Davids to skip and refuse to play. Well, at least I hope that is what was happening - for all I know that was what In Flames intended it to sound like.
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Steve
