Someone please write somthing in here to cheer me up


Apr 17, 2001
I am having a rough time in this shit hostel at the moment. I am feeling homesick.
Hi Torana , sorry to here you are down in the dumps at the moment . Chin up mate least your on a holiday of a lifetime .
What you need to do is bed one of those nice English Maidens ? - but if do have a special girl at home just igore that last comment .

When i was about 14 i ran full speed into a telegraph pole while i was playing football with my brother.....i kicked the ball high into the air and ran for it, i didnt take my eye off it and was tackled by the telegraph pole in the corner.

I bounced of it onto the ground, stood up in a haze and started to walk, then i fell down again and crawled to my room and laid on the floor without moving for about 30 minutes. I had a graze on my cheek but that was REALLY hurt.

There isnt much give in a telegraph pole, go find one on the street and check, you will see im not lying!

I didnt score the try either.......i was winning the game up till that point though.

So in summary, hope you had a laugh! (in one of those "funny as im glad it didnt happen to me" laughs :) )
Thanks spawny thats just the sort of laugh i needed,
And thanks mark and bucko :)

Its not to bad, all the french and German girls in the hostel are awesome and they love australians. And when you tell them your from the beach and surf they throw themself at you !!! only trouble they are being supervised by there teachers. (hitler)
They are all students learning english and nursing.
Tonight i am going out with a french girl, she is sneeking out.

Oh i have another one for you gavin. When i was like 4 or something, we went to this park that had a spaceship in it for the kids to play on, i was too afraid to go near it because i thought it would take off!
So my dad takes my little brother over to it for a photo while im holding onto my moms leg freakin out a bit, and then i start SCREAMING when my dad and brother touch it, im yelling "NOOOOOOO IT WILL FLY AWAY!!!!!!!!"
We still have the photo of them at the out of shot fortunately :)

So, i trust this cheered you up too? (I still have a VERY active imagination to this day before you ask haha!)
You know something gavin, with the chance of getting caught it adds that flair of danger! Kind of like sex in public places!
Well, not that id know what thats like, i dont even get sex in private places, but im sure its very thrilling and everything...:D

French hey?? MMMMMMMMMM.......accents. Theres this woman at work from spain MY GOD she has a GREAT accent, i want to move there. To spain i mean, not work.
i think the chances of getting sex from this one are about 100/1.

I know the spaceships you mean, you can clime them and see out the top :) :) :)
Originally posted by Gavin
i think the chances of getting sex from this one are about 100/1.

I know the spaceships you mean, you can clime them and see out the top :) :) :)

I wouldnt know if you can climb not game to go near them, didnt you read my post?? THEY COULD TAKE OFF!! Be careful gavin, your lucky it didnt happen to you......:D

oh yeah and 100/1? I wish i could get odds as good as that!
Torana , let us know how your date goes with the French lass. Not all the gory details , but just enough to get us all in.
Maybe we should run a book on Torana getting sex- gee starting odds of 100/1 are pretty good. $5.00 bucks says you do .LOL
ill do my best !!! :D
seriouly i don't see it happening, she is only 18 and im 24.
I wouldn't use any tricks on her, she would have to really want to. Im happy just to have a little fun. There are plenty of older girls around for that sort of thing.
Are you in London at the moment Gavin? If so, you are welcome to come to my leaving do next week - just me and another bunch of piss artists sitting in a pub in the west end. I work with 3 Aussie girls who are an absolute scream - ask Mark!! If you cant laugh with that lot then theres no hope for ya! Let me know if your feeling bored. ;)

im in dubllin now dreamy, thanks for the offer though i would be there if i could.

Guys , no luck last night, she woosd out (sneaking out of hostel) and now she is gone, oh well...

I've got an Aussie mate in Indonesia who used to work on a pearl-fishing boat off the coast of WA. They used to get up to some rather crazy shit, out of boredom, and one day my mate decided to slice his dick open and shove a pearl inside it. It either healed up itself, or he sewed it up himself. It all healed, and for a while he was running around with a nice pearly sausage in his trousers. I guess he got sick of it after a bit, so decided to take it out, which meant slicing his willy open again. He's all fine and well now, except for a decent scar along his dong (not that I've seen it, thank feck). So whatever happens to you up there Gavin, at least you won't have your dick sliced open and a pearl inserted! :)
Gavin, do you need an interpreter whilst you're out with this French lass? I'd love to put my 7 years of language classes to good use ;)

Coops, I thought it was Bulgarian women who didn't shave their armpits? Not that I'd know much about that kind of thing...