Story Thread - Metal Dreams

[Metalchemist]

Steve, 25 year old metal fan and bass player in amateur band Nighten, is always coming home after a few beers and JDs and falling into a deep sleep where he has lengthy dreams peopled by characters from the world of metal.
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One such night, one such dream...


Steve is running through a dark, Carpathian forest, pursued by demon-wolves. He makes it to the edge of the trees and sees a medieval knight riding down a hill towards him. The knight draws a mighty sword and swiftly slays the wolves.

STEVE: Whoa! Thanks, man! How can I repay you?

The knight raises his visor - it is Luca Turilli of Rhapsody.

LUCA: Good day! I ask of you that you join me in my quest to find the Emerald Cheese.

Steve thinks about it...

 

[Nudger]

...and replies "Sod off"

So off went the Knight, muttering "Miserble Bastard..." under his breath. Steve wasn't going to let Luca get away with that, and starts throwing lumps of earth at him. One hit his horse, which promptly chucked poor Luca off.

Luca stomped back over to Steve and kneed him powerfully in the crotch. He was just about to stamp Steve's face into the ground, when along came a beautiful maiden. It was Tarja from Nightwish. She was not looking pleased, for she had lost her...

 

[divineslayer666]

Hair...making her completely bald...which in turn meant she had to withdraw from her post as the hotest female in metal! (at least that I know of)
She was looking a right state...so steve and luca decided to cheer her up.
They both....

 

[Jonoleth]

brought out their mighty swords and...

 

[Nudger]

cut up a pie between them, a magical Hair-growing pie. Tarja ate it all and ended up looking like a Yeti, so she had to run off and sort it out.

Meanwhile, on the horizon, a giant axe-wielding lizard was approaching, shouting something along the lines of...

 

[Jonoleth]

"Expensive! You call that expensive! You can kiss my arse!"

 

[Nudger]

...because he had just secured a great deal on a loan. Their rates were great, and they did it all over the phone. He would fully recommend Ocean Finance to anyone.

 

[Metalchemist]

The giant lizard opens his mouth and sucks mightily, drawing Steve down his gullet into the dark...
Next thing, Steve is in a dungeon cell chained to a wall. The Great Kat enters dressed in dominatrix gear and wielding a whip.

Great Kat: Worship me or die!

 

[Metalchemist]

So stressful for Steve is this dilemma that he wakes up in a cold sweat and reaches for the JD.