Dan and the Cheesestalk
Once upon a time Dan and his mother lived in a poor part of Hillville, they were a very poor family and their only possession was a small milk producing hippo named Georgette for she was a female. One day Dans mother said, Dan take a piss and then go to market to sell Georgette (for she was a female). Dan finished his piss and then went out side to take Georgette (for she was a female) to market. As Dan walked down the path Georgette started to take a piss so Dan stopped for her (for she was a female). Just as Georgette had finished, a monkey like creature came flying through the trees and landed in front of Dan and his hippo. The monkey like creature stood up (the best he could) but Dan saw something even more hideous than a monkey he saw a child of the Bieneik. Dan had heard storys about the Bieneik clan they taught Bieneiks everywhere how to hunt and kill all matter of life especially small defenceless creatures like babies. There was a story about the master Bieneik who could kill things just by touching then this Bieneik fitted this story perfectly even the air around smelt dead but that could of easily been the master Bieneik himself. The master Bieneik looked like he had taken his clothes from a tramp and then slept in them on a car. The Bieneik had eyes that were easily 12 times larger than Dans. The Bieneik stood head on towards Dan but Bieneiks legs were facing 170 degrees to the right.
The master Bieneik said I have killed hundreds of beings but never a hippo. Let me buy him off of you Dan looked terrified into the master Bieneiks eyes and saw the nightmares of hundreds of deaths in his eyes and Dan said, how much? Bieneik said Ill give you these magic lumps of cheese Dan excepted them more for his own life than any thing. Then Bieneik put the hippo called Georgette (for she was female) on his back and ran away.
Dan returned home and showed his mother she threw the cheese lumps out of the window. The next morning Dan woke up and found a massive lump of cheese on a vine he and his mother were rich. They lived many years happily selling the cheese and eating it but the Bieneik found out about this infinite resource of cheese and decided to kill Dan and his mother. Dan knew that this was eventually happen so he hired professional face slappers to slap Bieneik to kingdom come. Bieneik couldnt take the face slapping so he knitted a woollen cocoon and climbed in the hired face slappers took this as a golden opportunity and threw him the river Bieneik started to melt and everyone except Bieneik who was ironically murdered lived happily ever after.
The cheesy end.
By Dan
uke:
Once upon a time Dan and his mother lived in a poor part of Hillville, they were a very poor family and their only possession was a small milk producing hippo named Georgette for she was a female. One day Dans mother said, Dan take a piss and then go to market to sell Georgette (for she was a female). Dan finished his piss and then went out side to take Georgette (for she was a female) to market. As Dan walked down the path Georgette started to take a piss so Dan stopped for her (for she was a female). Just as Georgette had finished, a monkey like creature came flying through the trees and landed in front of Dan and his hippo. The monkey like creature stood up (the best he could) but Dan saw something even more hideous than a monkey he saw a child of the Bieneik. Dan had heard storys about the Bieneik clan they taught Bieneiks everywhere how to hunt and kill all matter of life especially small defenceless creatures like babies. There was a story about the master Bieneik who could kill things just by touching then this Bieneik fitted this story perfectly even the air around smelt dead but that could of easily been the master Bieneik himself. The master Bieneik looked like he had taken his clothes from a tramp and then slept in them on a car. The Bieneik had eyes that were easily 12 times larger than Dans. The Bieneik stood head on towards Dan but Bieneiks legs were facing 170 degrees to the right.
The master Bieneik said I have killed hundreds of beings but never a hippo. Let me buy him off of you Dan looked terrified into the master Bieneiks eyes and saw the nightmares of hundreds of deaths in his eyes and Dan said, how much? Bieneik said Ill give you these magic lumps of cheese Dan excepted them more for his own life than any thing. Then Bieneik put the hippo called Georgette (for she was female) on his back and ran away.
Dan returned home and showed his mother she threw the cheese lumps out of the window. The next morning Dan woke up and found a massive lump of cheese on a vine he and his mother were rich. They lived many years happily selling the cheese and eating it but the Bieneik found out about this infinite resource of cheese and decided to kill Dan and his mother. Dan knew that this was eventually happen so he hired professional face slappers to slap Bieneik to kingdom come. Bieneik couldnt take the face slapping so he knitted a woollen cocoon and climbed in the hired face slappers took this as a golden opportunity and threw him the river Bieneik started to melt and everyone except Bieneik who was ironically murdered lived happily ever after.
The cheesy end.
By Dan
uke:
