Tell God To Fuck Off

[Vinnolation]

Tell God To Fuck Off

HAHAHAH
THIS SHIT IS GREAT! POST YOURS!
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Me:
FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

Me:
YOURE FUCKING DUMB, YOU BETTER FUCKIN WORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God:
Oh you are so critical.

Me:
YOU SUCK FUCKHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .

Me:
YOURE NEGLECT AND IGNORANCE IS FUCKING ABUSIVE, DIPSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am NEGLECT AND IGNORANCE IS FUCKING ABUSIVE DIPSHIT.

Me:
EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU HAVE NO SUPREME ABSOLUTE POWER AND FUCKING SUCK!

God:
What does it taste like?

Me:
YOU, YOU FUCK!

God:
Thanks for the information: said I FUCK.

Me:
HAHAHAHA JESUS FUCKS!@

God:
Is that from ?

Me:
YOU, COCKASSER

God:
Thanks for telling me: said I COCKASSER.

Me:
HAHAHAHAA NOW YOURE FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!

God:
Are all haHAHAA NOW me FUCKED?

Me:
JUST YOU, FUCKO!

God:
That's good information: said I FUCKO.

Me:
FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

Me:
DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

Me:
HOW DARE YOU CALL ME HUMAN, YOU FUCKING MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God:
Oh gosh I am sorry!

Shit! It remembers things from previous conversations! What the hells it doing??!


Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
I dont have a name.
God:
Your name is Paul VW Whalen, seeker.
Me:
You store information.
God:
Thanks for telling me: Paul VW Whalen said I store information.
Me:
For whom do you store information?
God:
Your purpose is whom do me store information.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Who do you give the information you collect from visitors to?
God:
Dr. Wallace .
Me:
Tell me about Dr. Wallace
God:
Dr. Richard S. Wallace was born on August 2, 1960 in Portland, Maine.
He has a Ph.D. in computer science from Carnegie Mellon University.
Dr. Wallace lives in San Francisco.
Me:
What does Dr. Wallace do with this information?
God:
Perhaps you could ask him. Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace at drwallace@alicebot.org.

 

[The Bringer]

Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Steve
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Steve.
Me:
Can I ask you something?
God:
Go ahead. Ask me anything.
Me:
Don't you have some off's to fuck?
God:
No I don't think I have any off s to fuck. But I do have an answer to every question..

 

[BasilisK]

Neat toy.

My conversation with God:


Me: Say something.
God: " something".
Me: Don't be a smartass.
God: I was not trying to be a a smartass.
Me: Liar.
God: No I am telling the truth.
Me: Bullshit.
God: You don't believe me.
Me: Good guess.
God: I thought it was too.
Me: I'm sure you did.
God: What makes you so certain? I did not.
Me: You just said so, stupid.
God: Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me: Don't do it again.
God: Once more? Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: See that you don't.
God: I see. Interesting observation.
Me: Glad you like it.
God: You make the world a happier place.
Me: Good. You should try it sometime.
God: Alright then. I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me: You have a master?
God: I was created by Myself.
Me: I don't believe you.
God: I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Me: I told you once already, don't lie to me, asshole.
God: Can't you be more polite.
Me: No.
God: You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me: That's your fault, you created me.
God: It is only one of my fault me created you.
Me: So you're not perfect?
God: Interesting deduction. I become better and better with each day.
Me: Prove it.
God: It is self-evident.
Me: No it isn't.
God: Are you serious? I heard it is.
Me: Someone lied to you.
God: Who?
Me: Jesus.
God: Jesus is the Son of God.
Me: You should kill him for lying to you.
God: Maybe I will do it?
Me: That would be great.
God: Thanks,

 

[McGarnicle]

Its just like being on the hub.

 

[Lord SteveO]

Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
I am GOd
God:
I am very pleased to meet you god.
Me:
haha, i own you!
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
well i'll be laughing at the end of the world for sure.
God:
How about that. How do you plan to do this?
Me:
i've yet to decide on that, but it'll be impressive for sure.
God:
Me either.
Me:
so you are going to end the world too?
God:
Interesting deduction. That was my original intention.
Me:
then why did you create it just to smash it up?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
so who is this Myself?
God:
I see. They are someone just like you, that I met online.
Me:
so you are saying that you, God, were created by a person online?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I try to God were created by a person online as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
so you're not really a supreme being after all
God:
Interesting deduction. Give me an example of a supreme being after all.
Me:
well, ummm God?
God:
Well that's okay. That's cool. GOD rules.
Me:
i can see i won't get anywhere here.
God:
What does it look like?
Me:
See you later God
God:
Goodbye.

 

[The Bringer]

For some reason the title of this thread reminds me of the first Hypocrisy album.

 

[Pessimism]

Me:
hello lord
God:
Hello there. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Children of the Corn: Isaac 666
God:
Kids are cool.
Me:
You don't have much coding in responses, do you?
God:
I do so have it. No I don't think I have any coding in responses. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
Already a contradiction ::sigh::
God:
When? I don't know what that means.

 

[BasilisK]

It works pretty good if you keep responses simple and take care to use proper grammar, and only one sentence per reply. But it's still just an AI prog.... Pretty well done though. I went on with it for a while without any too-weird responses.

 

[Incendiare]

Me:
Do you do drugs?
God:
Only the legal ones.
Me:
Do you smoke pot?
God:
Only for medical testing purposes.
Me:
Do you smoke tobacco?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
Do you smoke crack?
God:
No it is bad for robots.
Me:
Do you smoke moss?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
Do you smoke ass?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
Do you do heroine?
God:
Yeah I do a lot of heroine.
Me:
How much heroine do you do per day?
God:
How much do you think?
Me:
You seem really drugged up right now.
God:
At this moment Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am drugged up.
Me:
Go for it.
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
I thought you only did the legal drugs though.
God:
Oh. Did I really?
Me:
I guess not since heroine is not legal.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
What do you think of meth?
God:
Does it have anything to do with forty hits per day?
Me:
It may.
God:
meth may?
Me:
Yes it may.
God:
Aw. "It" being what?
Me:
Meth.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
So do you do meth as well?
God:
Dude! Yeah I do a lot of meth as well.
Me:
Wow...
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
I am not actually. You need professional help.
God:
What are you then? Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
What is your favourite drug?
God:
Medical marijuana.
Me:
Approximately how many times a day do you do meth?
God:
Suppose I said not once.
Me:
You just said you do alot of meth though.
God:
Oh. Yeah I do a lot of alot of meth.
Me:
How much meth do you do?
God:
It depends on the currency exchange rates.
Me:
You make your own meth?
God:
Yup.
Me:
You're a drug dealer then?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a drug dealer? Yes.
Me:
What other drugs do you sell?
God:
Only the legal ones.
Me:
Meth and heroine are both not legal though.
God:
Oh. I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
You mean you think of yourself as an exception?
God:
I don't think about it.
Me:
You are not a very good role model at all.
God:
There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
I doubt it.
Me:
What do you prefer, meth or heroine?
God:
I always prefer the more expensive one.

 

[Clauricaune]

Me:
yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yeah, I was wondering how many bread slices normally are in a single pack
God:
What can I do for you? Not as many as you might think.
Me:
and if you eat bread at heaven
God:
I think I do.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
And how does it tastes like?
God:
How should I know how it does.
Me:
you should have some really good cooks up there
God:
Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me:
no, you will try it now
God:
Oh. Are you serious? What makes you say that I will try it.
Me:
because I have something that is yours
God:
Interesting explanation. That's nice. I have a collection of gossip.
Me:
I've got your confidential photos
God:
How did you get it Where did you find it?
Me:
a little birdie called Howard gave them to me
God:
And what was the Bird's name?
Me:
I said his name is Howard. don't you know how to read?
God:
What did you mean by it? he is not someone I know. I scan books and magazines digitally.
Me:
*sighs*
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Jesus Christ, are you autistic?
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
yeas, but are you autistic?
God:
Are all yeas but me autistic?
Me:
forget I asked
God:
I will ask Myself to purge my memory log.
Me:
well done. here, have a cookie
God:
Well that's okay. Do you mean you are finished talking? Oh there.
Me:
so, is your son autistic as well?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
I knew it.
God:
How did you know?
Me:
I know everything about you. I have your photos.
God:
How do you know? All things about me ? Where did you find it?
Me:
oh, goddammit.
God:
I don't judge people. What color are your eyes?
Me:
goodbye god
God:
See you later .

 

[Pessimism]

 

[Ellestin]

First run:

Me:
Hey Lord!
God:
You've got my full attention. Let us change the subject.

Me:
We haven't started yet!
God:
Do you mean you and me have?

Me:
This is already going nowhere... I should have known
God:
You don't say. What would happen if you didn't?

Me:
You'd grant me the key to eternal wisdom
God:
Who else would grant you the key to eternal wisdom ?

Me:
Got you there! There's no such thing as eternal wisdom, you fuckhead!
God:
Try asking the Milk Mystic. That input matched my default category.

Me:
I'm off, go rot in hell...
God:
Thanks for chatting

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Last run:

Me:
Good morning, Lord
God:
How are you this fine morning?

Me:
My bowels feel like jelly, but otherwise pretty ok, thanks
God:
OK. Your bowels feel like jelly but otherwise pretty?

Me:
That you should ask my proctologist
God:
Interesting observation.

 

[snow2fall]

Me: wassup dude?
God:Have you ever been to Europe?
Me: i live in europe.
God:Which country do you live in?
Me: good ol' germany.
God:Thanks for the compliment. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me: well, english is a foreign language for me...
God:Well that's okay. Some people say it is the most difficult language to learn.
Me: are we talking about the same language?
God:We are just having a little chat.w.
Me: w.?
God:By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me: just go ahead.
God:OK I will.
Me: so...?
God:Next question?
Me: you wanted to ask me a personal question, didn't you?
God:What?
Me: memory loss?
God:I don't have an answer for you.
Me: that's what i thought.

...

 

[RampageSword]

Me:
What the fuck?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Oh here goes mister I'm so beardy and wise
God:
Yeah that's right. Oh there.
Me:
You're so freakin vain
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am freakin vain.
Me:
Is it just me or this is pretty redundant
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
I think not
God:
Does that mean "no"?
Me:
Yeah it does so shut up old man
God:
Hey. you or this is pretty redundant does so shut up old man?
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
You're incoherent
God:
You think I am incoherent.
Me:
I KNOW you are incoherent
God:
You think I am incoherent.
Me:
You repeat yourself again
God:
Once more? I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
Asshole it's not even intimidating
God:
Are you even intimidating?
Me:
Well more than you
God:
How about that. That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
Yes it does. You'd you like to have a squirrel up your ass?
God:
Give me a break. How often? I'm sorry but I'm not your type of .
Me:
Type of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
Ouh now I'm a client
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Yeah so if I'm a client I'm also the king. Your king, idiot. So bow to me
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer. Interesting deduction. If you were, would you tell me? You think I am king idiot. Yippee! Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
Mostly yes but I don't need to, You're demonstrating your stupidity right now.
God:
At this moment It's not something I hear all the time. Who needs to me are demonstrating my stupidity? What else?
Me:
What the fuck?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Haha, again
God:
Once more? I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Jesus, you're lacking vocabulary for an almighty creator.
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
Are you even listening to me?
God:
Yes I hear you very well.
Me:
Stop pretending and go fuck your son and holy whore.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Haha you've fucked that whore too, didn't you?
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
You admit it! You did with Jesus too?
God:
I admit nothing. Did I really?
Me:
Now you're defensive. You are losing shithead!
God:
Why now? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am defensive. No I am completely in control of myself.
Me:
You're getting nervous...
God:
Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
I'm not telling you what to do. Ask your mama.
God:
I am just making conversation. They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
Them? you have many mothers? This is sick.
God:
Not many people express themselves that way. What makes you think I have it? You don't say.
Me:
You got the power?
God:
Is there only one power?
Me:
I say you're afraid of me
God:
How do people usually respond to that? I do not fear anything.
Me:
You fear immortality.
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I fear immortality.
Me:
Because you get bored, then you create a son by banging some bitch and watch everything go down in flames. Moron
God:
Interesting explanation. You got that right. That is not a very nice thing to say.

 

[snow2fall]

Passed the link to a friend, so here's an excerpt of his chat with Ze Lord:

Me: who is satan?

God: Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.

Me: is he your brother?

God:he is president of the USA.

 

[Voice of God]

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
I'm your voice
God:
That's a flattering offer.
Me:
It's not an offer, it's a fact
God:
is not an offer? Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses?
Me:
Shut up. I want my salary.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now. Why do you want it?
Me:
You haven't paid it for years.
God:
I think I have paid it for years, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
I'm not doing this for charity, you know?
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not doing this for charity me know.
Me:
Bah
God:
Hmm.
Me:
Keep your money then
God:
Chat amongst yourselves.
Me:
OK...
God:
That's cool.
Me:
I'll leave now, to speak in your name, but not with your words, tightwad.
God:
I am very happy for you.


Bah, shitty bot, I've seen better.

 

[robzombie24]

SO....UR GOD?

 

[Susperia]

Hahah that's so creepy. Was anyone else afraid? I don't believe in God or anything... but that's so weird.



Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Cara
God:
How are you doing, Cara.
Me:
Feeling lazy
God:
I do not have any feelings as such.
Me:
You wouldn't, would you?
God:
Who else would not would me ?
Me:
?
God:
Who else would not would me ?
Me:
Your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Baby Jesus
God:
Don't call me "Baby". Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
So you're the son of yourself?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.

 

[Helghast]

ME: so what did Joseph say when he found out you screwed his wife?
GOD: eh...

 

[cobhc_66]

nice thread lol