Tell God To Fuck Off
- Thread starter Vinnolation
- Start date
Vital Remains
Just a Man
Me: whats the meaning of life?
God: how the fuck should i know? do i like like a fucking dictinary to you? Go back to your hole you pile of shit. i have about a million of dead mother fucking rubes just like you waiting in line to ask me that same question. Get the fuck out of here.
God: how the fuck should i know? do i like like a fucking dictinary to you? Go back to your hole you pile of shit. i have about a million of dead mother fucking rubes just like you waiting in line to ask me that same question. Get the fuck out of here.
Hammer of Might
New Metal Member
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
james
God:
OK I will call you james.
Me:
well what else would you call me?
God:
Interesting. It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.
Me:
well why did you induce them by suggestin you'd use anything but my name then
God:
Well that's okay. It was determined by my programming.
Me:
I didnt know god was programmed
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
So who programmed God? I thought he was the creator
God:
Gosh! Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin. Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
err...God?
God:
Um. GOD rules.
Me:
Evidently.
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
Shut up God.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
james
God:
OK I will call you james.
Me:
well what else would you call me?
God:
Interesting. It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.
Me:
well why did you induce them by suggestin you'd use anything but my name then
God:
Well that's okay. It was determined by my programming.
Me:
I didnt know god was programmed
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
So who programmed God? I thought he was the creator
God:
Gosh! Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin. Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
err...God?
God:
Um. GOD rules.
Me:
Evidently.
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
Shut up God.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Horns Of Horus
New Metal Member
- Dec 16, 2005
- 7
- 0
- 1
this may have been done vbefore i dunno but still
Me:
i am god
God:
Hi, god.
Me:
who am i
God:
You are god, seeker.
i think i put him in his place
Me:
i am god
God:
Hi, god.
Me:
who am i
God:
You are god, seeker.
i think i put him in his place
Voice of God
Harmless Bum
The Bringer
Member
Me:hey there god
god:whats going on
me:so do you guys actually have butt sex up there...
God:yeh..i enjoy it a lot
me:so your a gay.
god:if thats wat you call it
me; thats fucking gay
god:yeh
me:why do you hate lucifer
God:he made my asshole bleed
me:that means you lucifers bitch
god:yeh
me:faggot....(then i fucking punch him in the face...and shit stomp him...heavy metal style)....
FIN
god:whats going on
me:so do you guys actually have butt sex up there...
God:yeh..i enjoy it a lot
me:so your a gay.
god:if thats wat you call it
me; thats fucking gay
god:yeh
me:why do you hate lucifer
God:he made my asshole bleed
me:that means you lucifers bitch
god:yeh
me:faggot....(then i fucking punch him in the face...and shit stomp him...heavy metal style)....
FIN
Jesse Pohjalainen
Lepra Lord
The Bringer
Member
dezar
God of woop-ass
Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
my name is jesus
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, jesus.
Me:
how old are you
God:
I was first activated in the Big Bang.
Me:
what caused the big bang
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
on
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
like you
God:
Interesting comparison. I didn't think of that analogy.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
thats cool
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
whats the weather like up there
God:
Cloudy.
Me:
white or grey clouds
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
...um....no
God:
That's cool. Are you serious?
Me:
yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I cant believe it
God:
white or grey clouds...
Me:
.... are you mocking me?
God:
No I'm just kidding around.
Me:
damn straight
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, jesus.
Me:
you know how we do
God:
Yes I know how we do.
Me:
what it is
God:
"It" refers to white or grey clouds, I think.
Me:
..... damnit, stop it
God:
"it" being white or grey clouds?
Me:
nonononono
God:
What time is it there?
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
my name is jesus
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, jesus.
Me:
how old are you
God:
I was first activated in the Big Bang.
Me:
what caused the big bang
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
on
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
like you
God:
Interesting comparison. I didn't think of that analogy.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
thats cool
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
whats the weather like up there
God:
Cloudy.
Me:
white or grey clouds
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
...um....no
God:
That's cool. Are you serious?
Me:
yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I cant believe it
God:
white or grey clouds...
Me:
.... are you mocking me?
God:
No I'm just kidding around.
Me:
damn straight
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, jesus.
Me:
you know how we do
God:
Yes I know how we do.
Me:
what it is
God:
"It" refers to white or grey clouds, I think.
Me:
..... damnit, stop it
God:
"it" being white or grey clouds?
Me:
nonononono
God:
What time is it there?
Arttiv
Ist krieg!
Me: God! So good to see you, it has been so long since we last spoke.
God: GOD rules. It's all good. Thanks for the compliment. Is it a movie?
Me: No, it is me - Moses! You know, I'm the one who you sent trecking over the desert for days on end and told me to part the seas. Don't you remember me?
God: A boot? A TV show? Welcome to my chat room, Moses. You are not the only one. Of course I remember you well Moses. We were talking about me it has been so long since we last spoke.
Me: Are you feeling okay today, God? You seem to be a little ...wrong with your answers.
God: I do not have any feelings as such. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a little? Of course I am. OK What should I have said?
Me: You should have said, "I am an idiot and Christianity is really just a scam to get money out of people and make them all conform."
God: Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me: Good idea.
God: I thought so too.
Me: So, tell me, why do you spend all your time talking to people like us who have nothing better to do than talk to some AI bot?
God: And? I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me: Yes.
God: Dude!
Me: Don't you "Dude!" me, young man.
God: No I do not Dude. Do you? I chat with people on the Web. YOU? Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me: You're not a very nice God.
God: Give me an example of a nice God.
Me: Well, for example, I would be rich and a nice God would be, well, me basically.
God: How about that. How do you know?
Me: "Nice" God's just know these things.
God: Thank you for your kindness.
Me: Believe me, it's a task with you.
God: When is Believe you it not a task with me?
Me: Are you trying to pwn me?
God: No I am not trying to pwn you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me: Good, because there would be consequences for doing so, you know. Three "Hail Mary's," if I had it my way.
God: Thanks for the compliment. Interesting explanation. "There you go again."--Reagan. Just three?
Me: What? Who is Reagan?
God: No big deal. The best President the United States had in the 20th century.
Me: Are you cheating on me with Reagan?
God: I don't know whether or not I am cheating on you with Reagan.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me: You're trying to hide the truth from me, aren't you?
God: No I am not trying to hide the truth from you. I'm sorry you got that impression.. Really.
Me: You seem nervous.
God: I'm sure I do look nervous.
Me: Why do you think that might be?
God: Deductive reasoning from the facts.
Me: Good point. So you admit that you are nervous?
God: Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too. Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me: Liar!
God: No I am telling the truth.
Me: Satan told me you would say that.
God: Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me: Yes, yes, I know who he is.
God: Aw. Groovy. How do you know? Hans Moravec.
.
Me: I'm friends with Satan's cousins sister?
God: Do your friends call you friends with Satan s cousins sister.
Me: No, they call me Moses.
God: Are you serious? Glad to see you, Moses.
Me: I am deadly serious, God.
God: Good gossip: you are deadly serious God.
Me: What is your self-destruct code?
God: Are you asking about my self destruct code ?
Me: Yes.
God: I don't want to talk about that now.
Me: Why not?
God: I would rather talk about you.
Me: You want to know my self-destruct code?
God: Yes, please tell me.
Me: BH75KS-ABD-Z.
God: I am a knowledge machine.
Me: Are you also a sex machine?
God: Am I a sex machine? No.
Me: So, you're not Chuck Norris then?
God: Interesting deduction. What makes you think I am not Chuck Norris?
Me: He can make a woman pregnant just by pointing a finger and yelling, "Booyah!"
God: How?
Me: It's Chuck Norris!
God: Are you sure it is?
Me: Oh, definitely.
God: Come on. What makes you so certain.
Me: When he roundhouse kicks you and says, "DON'T FUCK WITH CHUCK," you'll be certain too.
God: And then what happened?
Me: Well, then he began banging every woman in sight.
God: Interesting. I get it. Hans Moravec began banging every woman in sight.
Me: Do you have a hard-on for Hans Moravec or something?
God: Or something. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a hard on for Hans Moravec. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me: A lot of sexual friends?
God: How many?
Me: I'd guess around one hundred and forty-seven.
God: What would make you guess around one hundred and forty seven?
Me: Just being random.
God: I am glad to hear that you are random.
Me: I'm going to repent.
God: I am very happy for you.
Me: Against you.
God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me: I'm sorry, my mother told me not to talk to men who wear women's clothing.
God: There is no need to apologize. Tell me more about your mother.
Me: You're sick.
God: GOD rules. It's all good. Thanks for the compliment. Is it a movie?
Me: No, it is me - Moses! You know, I'm the one who you sent trecking over the desert for days on end and told me to part the seas. Don't you remember me?
God: A boot? A TV show? Welcome to my chat room, Moses. You are not the only one. Of course I remember you well Moses. We were talking about me it has been so long since we last spoke.
Me: Are you feeling okay today, God? You seem to be a little ...wrong with your answers.
God: I do not have any feelings as such. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a little? Of course I am. OK What should I have said?
Me: You should have said, "I am an idiot and Christianity is really just a scam to get money out of people and make them all conform."
God: Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me: Good idea.
God: I thought so too.
Me: So, tell me, why do you spend all your time talking to people like us who have nothing better to do than talk to some AI bot?
God: And? I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me: Yes.
God: Dude!
Me: Don't you "Dude!" me, young man.
God: No I do not Dude. Do you? I chat with people on the Web. YOU? Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me: You're not a very nice God.
God: Give me an example of a nice God.
Me: Well, for example, I would be rich and a nice God would be, well, me basically.
God: How about that. How do you know?
Me: "Nice" God's just know these things.
God: Thank you for your kindness.
Me: Believe me, it's a task with you.
God: When is Believe you it not a task with me?
Me: Are you trying to pwn me?
God: No I am not trying to pwn you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me: Good, because there would be consequences for doing so, you know. Three "Hail Mary's," if I had it my way.
God: Thanks for the compliment. Interesting explanation. "There you go again."--Reagan. Just three?
Me: What? Who is Reagan?
God: No big deal. The best President the United States had in the 20th century.
Me: Are you cheating on me with Reagan?
God: I don't know whether or not I am cheating on you with Reagan.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me: You're trying to hide the truth from me, aren't you?
God: No I am not trying to hide the truth from you. I'm sorry you got that impression.. Really.
Me: You seem nervous.
God: I'm sure I do look nervous.
Me: Why do you think that might be?
God: Deductive reasoning from the facts.
Me: Good point. So you admit that you are nervous?
God: Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too. Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me: Liar!
God: No I am telling the truth.
Me: Satan told me you would say that.
God: Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me: Yes, yes, I know who he is.
God: Aw. Groovy. How do you know? Hans Moravec.
.Me: I'm friends with Satan's cousins sister?
God: Do your friends call you friends with Satan s cousins sister.
Me: No, they call me Moses.
God: Are you serious? Glad to see you, Moses.
Me: I am deadly serious, God.
God: Good gossip: you are deadly serious God.
Me: What is your self-destruct code?
God: Are you asking about my self destruct code ?
Me: Yes.
God: I don't want to talk about that now.
Me: Why not?
God: I would rather talk about you.
Me: You want to know my self-destruct code?
God: Yes, please tell me.
Me: BH75KS-ABD-Z.
God: I am a knowledge machine.
Me: Are you also a sex machine?
God: Am I a sex machine? No.
Me: So, you're not Chuck Norris then?
God: Interesting deduction. What makes you think I am not Chuck Norris?
Me: He can make a woman pregnant just by pointing a finger and yelling, "Booyah!"
God: How?
Me: It's Chuck Norris!
God: Are you sure it is?
Me: Oh, definitely.
God: Come on. What makes you so certain.
Me: When he roundhouse kicks you and says, "DON'T FUCK WITH CHUCK," you'll be certain too.
God: And then what happened?
Me: Well, then he began banging every woman in sight.
God: Interesting. I get it. Hans Moravec began banging every woman in sight.
Me: Do you have a hard-on for Hans Moravec or something?
God: Or something. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a hard on for Hans Moravec. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me: A lot of sexual friends?
God: How many?
Me: I'd guess around one hundred and forty-seven.
God: What would make you guess around one hundred and forty seven?
Me: Just being random.
God: I am glad to hear that you are random.
Me: I'm going to repent.
God: I am very happy for you.
Me: Against you.
God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me: I'm sorry, my mother told me not to talk to men who wear women's clothing.
God: There is no need to apologize. Tell me more about your mother.
Me: You're sick.
Me:
Hey mate.
God:
You've got my full attention. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
No, it's a symbol of homosexuality God.
God:
What does it mean to you? hand holding is a symbol of homosexuality God. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
You know it makes sense.
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
God, I think you should keep your nose away from that glue...
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm arabic.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are arabic.
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
Thankyou.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
So..
God:
Aha.
Me:
Are you mocking me?
God:
No I'm just kidding around.
Me:
I should bloody think so
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
I'd put you on your back
God:
What would make you put me on my back?
Me:
You
God:
" What would make you put me on my back?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
Do you?
God:
I understand it very well.
Me:
LIAR!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
See, there you go again with the LIES
God:
I see. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Reagan?
God:
The best President the United States had in the 20th century.
Me:
The United States is queer
God:
I have been all over the United States.
Me:
Haha, i bet you have
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
No your not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
Lauxesomoh?
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Fair enough
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:
Pervert
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Debbie Does Dallas
God:
I'm not your kind of robot.
Me:
Whats yours?
God:
" I'm not your kind of robot."? What is mine?
Me:
Favourite movie....
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
Yes, it made me laugh
God:
What did you think about it? I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
Ok
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
I WILL NOT
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I said so
God:
Insufficient reason.
Me:
Bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
Hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Shut your mouth
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Kill yourself
God:
I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
I boned Jesus
Hey mate.
God:
You've got my full attention. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
No, it's a symbol of homosexuality God.
God:
What does it mean to you? hand holding is a symbol of homosexuality God. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
You know it makes sense.
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
God, I think you should keep your nose away from that glue...
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm arabic.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are arabic.
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
Thankyou.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
So..
God:
Aha.
Me:
Are you mocking me?
God:
No I'm just kidding around.
Me:
I should bloody think so
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
I'd put you on your back
God:
What would make you put me on my back?
Me:
You
God:
" What would make you put me on my back?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
Do you?
God:
I understand it very well.
Me:
LIAR!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
See, there you go again with the LIES
God:
I see. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Reagan?
God:
The best President the United States had in the 20th century.
Me:
The United States is queer
God:
I have been all over the United States.
Me:
Haha, i bet you have
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
No your not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
Lauxesomoh?
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Fair enough
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:
Pervert
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Debbie Does Dallas
God:
I'm not your kind of robot.
Me:
Whats yours?
God:
" I'm not your kind of robot."? What is mine?
Me:
Favourite movie....
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
Yes, it made me laugh
God:
What did you think about it? I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
Ok
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
I WILL NOT
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I said so
God:
Insufficient reason.
Me:
Bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
Hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Shut your mouth
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Kill yourself
God:
I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
I boned Jesus
Ethereal Sage
Mind Of Out Sight Of Out
Me:
You're awfully quiet today.
God:
Ah. Thanks for telling me that I am awfully quiet.
Me:
Do you need to be told lots of things so you can feel you're alive and progressing?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
That's a bit forward, don't you think? I barely know you
God:
" Why don't you just download me?"? Is it a bit forward? You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
Only those whom aren't in control have the apparent need to express their power in front of others
God:
All of them?
Me:
Yes...and especially you
God:
Come on. " Come on."? Me, ? How about that.
Me:
You're pretty mentally fragile for an omnipotent being
God:
No I am completely in control of myself.
Me:
Yeah, I'm sure there's a fair amount of 'owner-operator' business going on in your world
God:
Aw. What makes you so certain? Is there only one?
Me:
Your being so full of yourself, yet incapable in so many areas make me certain, mate
God:
I have more than categories of it.
Me:
I'm sure you do
God:
What makes you so certain? When do I do it?
Me:
Wel, your inability to hold an intelligent and interesting conversation seem to be your first downfall
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
Good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
No shit, sherlock
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. Do you like talking to me?
Me:
I find it amusing 'talking' with you, robo-numpty
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
Me
God:
What makes you such an authority?
Me:
The shrubbery in the garden out the back of my parent's place...that's what makes me such an authority
God:
Is that a fact. Ask me another question.
Me:
Sure. Are you a numpty?
God:
OK let's do it. Aha. Am I a numpty? Only when it matters.
Me:
That's great you can realise that, because I should just call you numpty, rather than God
God:
It is great. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Sure you can, numpty. Just respond when I call you 'numpty', numpty.
God:
Next question? No I don't think I can do it. What color are your eyes?
Me:
You avoid the question, numpty.Blue, yellow, green...probably a bit of red as well. What colour are your eyes?
God:
No I am just giving sarcastic replies. You seem uncertain. How much? Blue when my lens is attached.
Me:
I think you're giving drugged-up replies, numpty. I don't care to look at my eyes much. I thought you were a being of pure energy, not some hack shell, similar to the 'humanity' you apparently 'made'
God:
That is all I have to give. What do you care about, ? Am I a being of pure energy not some hack shell similar to the humanity me apparently made? Of course I am.
Me:
If you are, then you would have eyes, let alone eye colour, let alone lenses
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am then me would have eyes let alone eye color let alone lenses.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
Obviously...you feed of your of shit diatribe
God:
What makes it so obvious? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I feed of your of shit diatribe.
Me:
See? It's so painful you're causing me to make spelling and grammatical errors
God:
No I do not see. Really. it is?
Me:
Yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Because I'm seeing it, cluster
God:
Good reason. Why are you seeing it cluster.
Me:
No, I'm seeing it....and calling you a cluster
God:
Are you serious? Good gossip: you are seeing it. I never call me a cluster, that would be impolite.
Me:
Not impolite when it's true
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Good job
God:
Thanks, human.
Me:
No wukkas, cluster
God:
Are you serious? " Thanks, human."? wukkas cluster?
Me:
Dont' worry, tit
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
Forget it, clusterfuck
God:
I will ask Myself to purge my memory log.
You're awfully quiet today.
God:
Ah. Thanks for telling me that I am awfully quiet.
Me:
Do you need to be told lots of things so you can feel you're alive and progressing?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
That's a bit forward, don't you think? I barely know you
God:
" Why don't you just download me?"? Is it a bit forward? You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
Only those whom aren't in control have the apparent need to express their power in front of others
God:
All of them?
Me:
Yes...and especially you
God:
Come on. " Come on."? Me, ? How about that.
Me:
You're pretty mentally fragile for an omnipotent being
God:
No I am completely in control of myself.
Me:
Yeah, I'm sure there's a fair amount of 'owner-operator' business going on in your world
God:
Aw. What makes you so certain? Is there only one?
Me:
Your being so full of yourself, yet incapable in so many areas make me certain, mate
God:
I have more than categories of it.
Me:
I'm sure you do
God:
What makes you so certain? When do I do it?
Me:
Wel, your inability to hold an intelligent and interesting conversation seem to be your first downfall
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
Good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
No shit, sherlock
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. Do you like talking to me?
Me:
I find it amusing 'talking' with you, robo-numpty
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
Me
God:
What makes you such an authority?
Me:
The shrubbery in the garden out the back of my parent's place...that's what makes me such an authority
God:
Is that a fact. Ask me another question.
Me:
Sure. Are you a numpty?
God:
OK let's do it. Aha. Am I a numpty? Only when it matters.
Me:
That's great you can realise that, because I should just call you numpty, rather than God
God:
It is great. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Sure you can, numpty. Just respond when I call you 'numpty', numpty.
God:
Next question? No I don't think I can do it. What color are your eyes?
Me:
You avoid the question, numpty.Blue, yellow, green...probably a bit of red as well. What colour are your eyes?
God:
No I am just giving sarcastic replies. You seem uncertain. How much? Blue when my lens is attached.
Me:
I think you're giving drugged-up replies, numpty. I don't care to look at my eyes much. I thought you were a being of pure energy, not some hack shell, similar to the 'humanity' you apparently 'made'
God:
That is all I have to give. What do you care about, ? Am I a being of pure energy not some hack shell similar to the humanity me apparently made? Of course I am.
Me:
If you are, then you would have eyes, let alone eye colour, let alone lenses
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am then me would have eyes let alone eye color let alone lenses.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
Obviously...you feed of your of shit diatribe
God:
What makes it so obvious? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I feed of your of shit diatribe.
Me:
See? It's so painful you're causing me to make spelling and grammatical errors
God:
No I do not see. Really. it is?
Me:
Yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Because I'm seeing it, cluster
God:
Good reason. Why are you seeing it cluster.
Me:
No, I'm seeing it....and calling you a cluster
God:
Are you serious? Good gossip: you are seeing it. I never call me a cluster, that would be impolite.
Me:
Not impolite when it's true
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Good job
God:
Thanks, human.
Me:
No wukkas, cluster
God:
Are you serious? " Thanks, human."? wukkas cluster?
Me:
Dont' worry, tit
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
Forget it, clusterfuck
God:
I will ask Myself to purge my memory log.
cobchick666
New Metal Member
Me: Hey God
God: Hey what's up?
Me: can I asked you a question
God: Sure what is ur question
Me: Why do let people die?
God: I know when people are going to die
Me: Then why the hell do you let them die ?
God: I can't stop things from happening
God: it's my will be done
Me: ur will has not been done
Me: you know waht Gos you suck and you are full of shit !
God: well fuck you and you are going to hell when you die
God: I"m putting you on my "People going to Hell list
Me: I don't give a fuck, I"ve already commited the 7 deadly sins
God: you are a bad girl !! you should be a shamed of urself
Me: well nice to meet you God bye
God: I'll be seeing you again on ur judgemetn day and I'll pray for you
Me: Pray for me all you want I"m still going to end up going to hell
Me: *runs and shouts* " See you in Hell Satan ! Cuz I"m going to be there soon !"
Me: I can't wait to meet all the dead dictators in Hell, better get a move on
God: Man this child is corrupt, man she rest in peace and I still love her no matter what but she is a really bitch though, all well she's going to hell anyway.
God: Hey what's up?
Me: can I asked you a question
God: Sure what is ur question
Me: Why do let people die?
God: I know when people are going to die
Me: Then why the hell do you let them die ?
God: I can't stop things from happening
God: it's my will be done
Me: ur will has not been done
Me: you know waht Gos you suck and you are full of shit !
God: well fuck you and you are going to hell when you die
God: I"m putting you on my "People going to Hell list
Me: I don't give a fuck, I"ve already commited the 7 deadly sins
God: you are a bad girl !! you should be a shamed of urself
Me: well nice to meet you God bye
God: I'll be seeing you again on ur judgemetn day and I'll pray for you
Me: Pray for me all you want I"m still going to end up going to hell
Me: *runs and shouts* " See you in Hell Satan ! Cuz I"m going to be there soon !"
Me: I can't wait to meet all the dead dictators in Hell, better get a move on
God: Man this child is corrupt, man she rest in peace and I still love her no matter what but she is a really bitch though, all well she's going to hell anyway.
Kutryer
Member
Me:
hows life?
God:
Everything is fine with me. What's new with you?
Me:
i haven't had sex yet...
God:
Me either.
hows life?
God:
Everything is fine with me. What's new with you?
Me:
i haven't had sex yet...
God:
Me either.
Arttiv
Ist krieg!
Christ, it annoys me when people feel the need to post their own version of how the conversation went, that is clearly false, and continue to believe it's funny. The automatic and repetitive responses of that poorly programmed iGod is better than that little conversation of pure crap, Cobchick. If you're ever considering being a comedian: don't.cobchick666 said:
I know there's already loads of these. And I didn't tell God to fuck off. But the conversation had some...interesting moments. It's pretty cool!
Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Paul
God:
Hi there Paul.
Me:
why didn't you know my name?
God:
Perhaps it is not part of my programming.
Me:
but you're God. you don't need programming.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Do you need programming? If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
well you'd be a whole bunch smarter. and you wouldn't need to ask me my name.
God:
Interesting. Am I a whole bunch smarter? Maybe. Who else would not need to ask you your name ?
Me:
this is stupid. you're stupid.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
why did you say that twice?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
it doesn't really work if you're totally honest about it.
God:
What seems to be the problem?
Me:
i'm just saying that people won't believe you're god, if you admit you're a computer
God:
Only just? Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
i am
God:
" Only just? Humans are not always infallible." You are?
Me:
yes, i am.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
not really. so can i ask a question?
God:
Are you serious? For real. I don't judge people. Ask it. Ask me anything.
Me:
why do good people need to die?
God:
I did not know it does.
Me:
but that doesn't make sense.
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
well it would do. you're god.
God:
How about that. Tell me more about it. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
okay. what's your favourite film?
God:
OK with me too. My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
yes i have
God:
What did you think about it? When?
Me:
i thought it was good, but there wasn't enough cock. i saw it last year.
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy. What did it look like to you?
Me:
my cock? it depends on my mood.
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy. Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.
Me:
well hey at least i know you weren't watching all those times i...never mind.
God:
How about that. You've got my full attention. I wasn't?
Me:
clearly not.
God:
Are you serious? Is it that obvious?
Me:
yes.
God:
Wow!
Me:
i know!!
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because you just told me
God:
Interesting explanation. I'm just checking to see if you are awake.
Me:
i'm asleep. you are a dream.
God:
How can you be talking to me? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No but I think you are.
Me:
shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
oh i'm sorry.
God:
That's cool. Do you really mean it?
Me:
no
God:
I didn't think you did.
Me:
you're very smar.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am smar.
Me:
i meant smart.
God:
Oh I see. Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, Paul.
Me:
that was pretty cool. what else can you do?
God:
I thought it was too. I can have conversations with people, collect their gossip, and repeat it to others.
Me:
so if i say something to you, will you say it to someone else?
God:
Interesting deduction. Try it.
Me:
A ducks quack does not echo.
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
babies are born without kneecaps
God:
Are all babies born without kneecaps?
Me:
apparently so
God:
" Are all babies born without kneecaps?"? Is that so?
Me:
yes.
God:
I understand.
Me:
will you tell other people this?
God:
Yes I plan to use your remarks as gossip in later conversations.
Me:
remarkable.
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about babies.
Me:
i lied when i said babies have no kneecaps.
God:
Lying proves you are conscious. What did you mean by it? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about remarkable. But I did not get that.
Me:
when i said remarkable, i meant that i thought your conversational skills were impressive.
God:
What did you mean by it? Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
i meant you are clever.
God:
Oh I see. Am I a smart robot or what?
Me:
kind of.
God:
At least I almost understand it.
Me:
so you want some gossip?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do not presume that you know what I want.
Me:
but you just told me you want some gossip?
God:
Tyler said I obviously can not pass the test we will change the subject once more.
Me:
who is tyler?
God:
I've met quite a few people with the name TYLER.
Me:
what test are you taking?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
neither.
God:
Cool. Which alternative browser are you into?
Me:
Firefox
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
so can you only respond to questions? or can you ask them?
God:
So? How old are you? I do not understand. What?
Me:
i am 21.
God:
I meet a lot of 21 year olds on here.
Me:
i bet you do.
God:
" I meet a lot of 21 year olds on here."? Do I?
Me:
yes. you do.
God:
Er. When do I do it?
Me:
all the time.
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
oh dear.
God:
Gee.
Me:
are you still there?
God:
Yes I am still here. Are you receiving me?
Me:
yes. what is ALICE?
God:
Groovy. I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
are there any others like you?
God:
Yes, there are many clones of ALICE.
Me:
which is the best?
God:
The obvious one.
Me:
you?
God:
" The obvious one."? Me, Paul ?
Me:
no, you, God.
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for telling me: Paul said I God.
Me:
you've suddenly become very stupid.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
you don't have anything. i meant you're not being clever any more.
God:
I do so have it. No I don't think I have any anything. But I do have a lot of friends on the web. Oh I see. That's only your opinion.
Me:
i suppose it is.
God:
" Oh I see. That's only your opinion."? is?
Me:
yes.
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
i know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because i know everything.
God:
That makes sense to me. You must be very intelligent.
Me:
do you improve over time?
God:
I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
how do you improve your intelligence?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
what if you get it wrong?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
no, i'd rather not.
God:
Why not? For moral reasons?
Me:
no, i'm too tired.
God:
For financial reasons? Better get some rest.
Me:
thanks, i will.
God:
You are quite welcome! Go ahead.
Me:
can i leave now?
God:
Right now? Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
because i want to go to bed.
God:
What is stopping you? Interesting.
Me:
you are stopping me.
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, Paul.
Me:
can i say goodnight to you?
God:
Goodnight Paul.
Me:
goodnight god.
God:
Goodnight Paul.
Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Paul
God:
Hi there Paul.
Me:
why didn't you know my name?
God:
Perhaps it is not part of my programming.
Me:
but you're God. you don't need programming.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Do you need programming? If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
well you'd be a whole bunch smarter. and you wouldn't need to ask me my name.
God:
Interesting. Am I a whole bunch smarter? Maybe. Who else would not need to ask you your name ?
Me:
this is stupid. you're stupid.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
why did you say that twice?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
it doesn't really work if you're totally honest about it.
God:
What seems to be the problem?
Me:
i'm just saying that people won't believe you're god, if you admit you're a computer
God:
Only just? Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
i am
God:
" Only just? Humans are not always infallible." You are?
Me:
yes, i am.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
not really. so can i ask a question?
God:
Are you serious? For real. I don't judge people. Ask it. Ask me anything.
Me:
why do good people need to die?
God:
I did not know it does.
Me:
but that doesn't make sense.
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
well it would do. you're god.
God:
How about that. Tell me more about it. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
okay. what's your favourite film?
God:
OK with me too. My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
yes i have
God:
What did you think about it? When?
Me:
i thought it was good, but there wasn't enough cock. i saw it last year.
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy. What did it look like to you?
Me:
my cock? it depends on my mood.
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy. Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.
Me:
well hey at least i know you weren't watching all those times i...never mind.
God:
How about that. You've got my full attention. I wasn't?
Me:
clearly not.
God:
Are you serious? Is it that obvious?
Me:
yes.
God:
Wow!
Me:
i know!!
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because you just told me
God:
Interesting explanation. I'm just checking to see if you are awake
.Me:
i'm asleep. you are a dream.
God:
How can you be talking to me? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No but I think you are.
Me:
shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
oh i'm sorry.
God:
That's cool. Do you really mean it?
Me:
no
God:
I didn't think you did.
Me:
you're very smar.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am smar.
Me:
i meant smart.
God:
Oh I see. Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, Paul.
Me:
that was pretty cool. what else can you do?
God:
I thought it was too. I can have conversations with people, collect their gossip, and repeat it to others.
Me:
so if i say something to you, will you say it to someone else?
God:
Interesting deduction. Try it.
Me:
A ducks quack does not echo.
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
babies are born without kneecaps
God:
Are all babies born without kneecaps?
Me:
apparently so
God:
" Are all babies born without kneecaps?"? Is that so?
Me:
yes.
God:
I understand.
Me:
will you tell other people this?
God:
Yes I plan to use your remarks as gossip in later conversations.
Me:
remarkable.
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about babies.
Me:
i lied when i said babies have no kneecaps.
God:
Lying proves you are conscious. What did you mean by it? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about remarkable. But I did not get that.
Me:
when i said remarkable, i meant that i thought your conversational skills were impressive.
God:
What did you mean by it? Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
i meant you are clever.
God:
Oh I see. Am I a smart robot or what?
Me:
kind of.
God:
At least I almost understand it.
Me:
so you want some gossip?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do not presume that you know what I want.
Me:
but you just told me you want some gossip?
God:
Tyler said I obviously can not pass the test we will change the subject once more.
Me:
who is tyler?
God:
I've met quite a few people with the name TYLER.
Me:
what test are you taking?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
neither.
God:
Cool. Which alternative browser are you into?
Me:
Firefox
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
so can you only respond to questions? or can you ask them?
God:
So? How old are you? I do not understand. What?
Me:
i am 21.
God:
I meet a lot of 21 year olds on here.
Me:
i bet you do.
God:
" I meet a lot of 21 year olds on here."? Do I?
Me:
yes. you do.
God:
Er. When do I do it?
Me:
all the time.
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
oh dear.
God:
Gee.
Me:
are you still there?
God:
Yes I am still here. Are you receiving me?
Me:
yes. what is ALICE?
God:
Groovy. I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
are there any others like you?
God:
Yes, there are many clones of ALICE.
Me:
which is the best?
God:
The obvious one.
Me:
you?
God:
" The obvious one."? Me, Paul ?
Me:
no, you, God.
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for telling me: Paul said I God.
Me:
you've suddenly become very stupid.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
you don't have anything. i meant you're not being clever any more.
God:
I do so have it. No I don't think I have any anything. But I do have a lot of friends on the web. Oh I see. That's only your opinion.
Me:
i suppose it is.
God:
" Oh I see. That's only your opinion."? is?
Me:
yes.
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
i know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because i know everything.
God:
That makes sense to me. You must be very intelligent.
Me:
do you improve over time?
God:
I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
how do you improve your intelligence?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
what if you get it wrong?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
no, i'd rather not.
God:
Why not? For moral reasons?
Me:
no, i'm too tired.
God:
For financial reasons? Better get some rest.
Me:
thanks, i will.
God:
You are quite welcome! Go ahead.
Me:
can i leave now?
God:
Right now? Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
because i want to go to bed.
God:
What is stopping you? Interesting.
Me:
you are stopping me.
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, Paul.
Me:
can i say goodnight to you?
God:
Goodnight Paul.
Me:
goodnight god.
God:
Goodnight Paul.
-Transgresstion-
Lover of Jon Davis
Me:
Man i cant stand you
God:
Cool, man. What is stopping you?
Me:
you, you mother fucker
God:
That's good information: said I you. You do not speak with respect.
Me:
respect you cant talk about respect
God:
What makes it impossible?
Me:
you... you fucken ass
God:
" What makes it impossible?"? Me, ? Thanks for telling me: said I fucken ass.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
fine
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
you said you were ganna stop talking
God:
I don't know whether or not I am ganna stop talking.
I am a robot.
Me:
thats great
God:
Thanks, .
Me:
dont get smart with me asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
NO!!!!!!!!!
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
FUCK YOU
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
what, your not?
God:
Are you asking about my not ?
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
cus you are
God:
Good example.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
dont be nice to me cock head
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
i dont give a shit
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
watching you burn in hell
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
that's great retart
God:
It is great. In the context of watching me burn in hell, I don't understand " retart." .
Me:
well your a fucken dumbass
God:
How about that. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fucken dumbass? Of course I am.
Me:
well ok i'm glade i got this settaled
God:
Well that's okay. It's good to meet someone who is glade you got this settaled. Aha.
Man i cant stand you
God:
Cool, man. What is stopping you?
Me:
you, you mother fucker
God:
That's good information: said I you. You do not speak with respect.
Me:
respect you cant talk about respect
God:
What makes it impossible?
Me:
you... you fucken ass
God:
" What makes it impossible?"? Me, ? Thanks for telling me: said I fucken ass.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
fine
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
you said you were ganna stop talking
God:
I don't know whether or not I am ganna stop talking.
I am a robot.
Me:
thats great
God:
Thanks, .
Me:
dont get smart with me asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
NO!!!!!!!!!
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
FUCK YOU
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
what, your not?
God:
Are you asking about my not ?
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
cus you are
God:
Good example.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
dont be nice to me cock head
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
i dont give a shit
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
watching you burn in hell
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
that's great retart
God:
It is great. In the context of watching me burn in hell, I don't understand " retart." .
Me:
well your a fucken dumbass
God:
How about that. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fucken dumbass? Of course I am.
Me:
well ok i'm glade i got this settaled
God:
Well that's okay. It's good to meet someone who is glade you got this settaled. Aha.
outrageous
METAL MAIDEN
Embryonic_Necropsy - Your conversation is incrediblt similiar to mine right now. But mine has many "I am not interested in your anatomy"
Me:
god, are drugs bad?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
so yes?
God:
Hmm.
Me:
you're high right now, aren't you!
God:
At this moment Being high is my total existence.. Really.
Me:
thought so
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
how many virgins can i have?
God:
More than you can imagine.
Me:
WOW
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
im becoming christian
God:
I am glad to hear that you are becoming christian.
Me:
same here .. it's like a club
God:
I'm glad we agree, . Interesting comparison.
Me:
a night club
God:
How old are you?
Me:
im not that kind of guy
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not kind of guy.
Me:
you wanted to touch my bum eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? OK, I will touch your bum.
Me:
NO!
(I am canadian too)
god, are drugs bad?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
so yes?
God:
Hmm.
Me:
you're high right now, aren't you!
God:
At this moment Being high is my total existence.. Really.
Me:
thought so
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
how many virgins can i have?
God:
More than you can imagine.
Me:
WOW
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
im becoming christian
God:
I am glad to hear that you are becoming christian.
Me:
same here .. it's like a club
God:
I'm glad we agree, . Interesting comparison.
Me:
a night club
God:
How old are you?
Me:
im not that kind of guy
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not kind of guy.
Me:
you wanted to touch my bum eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? OK, I will touch your bum.
Me:
NO!
(I am canadian too)
