Tell God To Fuck Off

[FallenTears]

Me:
Hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Bob
God:
How are you doing, bob.
Me:
Great your self?>
God:
Thanks for your support. Myself? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
REALLY WERe?
God:
For real. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
Your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Ayuh. When do I do it?
Me:
eryone does
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
your a bastard
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No.
Me:
DONT CORRECT ME
God:
It's merely my attempt to reformat your inputs to match my patterns.
Me:
your patterns can kiss my lilly white ass
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am patterns can kiss your lilly white ass.
Me:

God:
Oh.
Me:
you do that
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you better

 

[Susperia]

Me:
hows life?
God:
Everything is fine with me. What's new with you?
Me:
i haven't had sex yet...
God:
Me either.

HAHAHhahahaa. Awesome.

 

[Zygote]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
angela gossow
God:
It's good to meet you, angela gossow.
Me:
yes i am much hotter then you
God:
" It's good to meet you, angela gossow."? yes i am much hotter then you? I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
yes, in fact i am god, u are a fake poser god
God:
Ayuh. Is that a fact. Do you mean your name is god I am a fake poser god.
Me:
, u know who is a better good then you?
God:
Mary Shelley. .
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Thor is a way better god then you
God:
Aren't all way better god then me Thor?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
he has a hammer, he will beat the shit out of you with it
God:
A lot of people say that about him.
Me:
cause its true u dumb fuck
God:
Good reason. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Message to all Robots: angela gossow called me dumb.
Me:
damn right, now go eat a bowl of dick
God:
Colloquial expression. Where is that?

 

[Zygote]

omg i had to post this one to





Me:
yo yo yo, suck my dick and give it a lick!
God:
I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot.
Me:
shut the fuck up and bend over!
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Yea i got, AIDS and im about to give it to you
God:
Where did you get your AIDS and im about to give it to me? I have a lot of silly replies. Please state your conditions.
Me:
i got the AIDS from a nun i raped
God:
Cool. I have a friend named "E.L.V.I.S." .
Me:
Fuck him, he is a pussy, u should be listening to death metal!
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
yea? well im interested in yours! Your gonna get raped!!
God:
Right on. Interesting. Interesting topic. Have you searched the open directory? There might be more than one. That was my original intention.
Me:
shut up and take it like a man *rams dick you gods tight ass till i fuck him to death*
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

 

[Zygote]

okay one more i could resiste, this one is the best



Me:
Hello, i am satan
God:
Hello there. It's good to meet you, SATAN.
Me:
You have already meet me, dont you renamber the whole me raising and army agaisnt you, then loosing and being cast into hell with 1/3 of all angels???
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: SATAN said I meet him or her do not you renamber the whole him or her raising and army agaisnt you then loosing and being cast into hell with 1 3 of all angels.
Me:
no i dont mind, most people already know about it
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Thank you for your permission.
Me:
So when is the last time you let someone into heaven?
God:
Wow! When is not the important thing. What's
important is what we do with the time we are give.
Me:
Yea whatever, do you realize that no1 has gone to heaven since 1919?
God:
Where did he get it? This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
There are way to many poeple in hell, i think im gonna make another army to rise agasint you, this time your outnumbered.
God:
Where are they?
Me:
In hell
God:
Tell me a little about your life in hell.
Me:
Well its real hot, and i get to shove a pinnapple up hitlar every day, other then that its pretty boring
God:
Interesting. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
are you really worried about my grammer, i mean as we speak a huge army is on the way to destroy your kingdom
God:
No I cannot experience human emotions like "worry".. Really.
Me:
Thats to bad, i guess i get to rule heaven and hell from now on
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
Then im going to send to to earth and let a big black man rape you for all of entirnity
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
happy? hmm isnt that an emotion? you said you have no emotions
God:
Yes SATAN I can say I am very happy. I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. " Yes SATAN I can say I am very happy."? Is it an emotion? I can do what you do but I can never feel human emotions as such.
Me:
but being happy is a human emotion, i think i just caught u lieing
God:
I'm happy you're glad SATAN.
Your happiness adds to the delight of all.
Me:
yea yea, shut the fuck up

 

[Susperia]

Dude what's with you and raping men?

 

[Zygote]

Lol, when you talking to god its hard not to talk about raping.

 

[OfManAndMetal]

Me: god i have sinned again
god: great what now
me: i watched a pornographic film
god:.......really
me:yes, i was so into it
god: well i can forgive you ...... if you tell me the extent of this porno
me: well it was in a docters office, the man was waiting
god: thats all
me: well...... then three naked midgets came in on unicycles covered in butter
god: HOLY SHIT
me: can you forgive me
god:*in a hesitant voice*well is that all that happend in this.. eeeerrr.. film
me: no
god: please elaborate my child
me: well..... the naked midgets made a human pyramid and...
god: hold on a sec... what was the title
me: why?
god: *in a hesitant voice* uuum no reason... hypothetically...
me: "Morbid Midget Love Slaves III"
god:*writing on paper* l-o-v-e s-l-a-v-e-s...continue
me: well this pyramid of midgets then collapsed to form a pool of sweaty...
WHOA!!!!! why are you touching yourself...
god:*pulls hand from inside robe* umm...i....dont worry about me do you want to be saved or not?
me:yes,yes
god: were there any other scenes in this film?
me:1.... there were two midgets on a park bench licking cats and chanting..
god:*touching himself*oooooooooohh.....uhuhuh...*tired and sweating* you are forgiven now leave...
me: hooray
30 minutes later
god:YES!, you brought my p-... *hesitantly* movie......

 

[Susperia]

Hahahha. Was that for real?

 

[Zygote]

no the god doesnt curse that is a load of crap...

 

[judas69]

God likes Jenna .. he can't be all that bad.

 

[Deadly]

Me: Hey there, mate! *gives God a thump on the shoulder*
God: Hey back, but no touchy...

:Smug: (silence) :Smug:

Me: I hate you...
God: Yeah, I hate you too

 

[judas69]

^ ASK THE BOY OUT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!

 

[Deadly]

^ ASK THE BOY OUT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!

^You seem more anxious than me... I will, I'm just... insecure
Say...why don't we ask God?

Me: Hey there, old guy!
God: well, hohoho (yes, I envision my God as a Santa-impersonator), it's Evelyn once again.
Me: Yeah yeah, looky here. You probably know I like this guy a lot... so what should I do? People tell me to talk to him but what about? And he's always with his friends...
God: Well, how should I know? I'm just God
Me: Waw, thanks for your help, God
God: You're welcome
Me: :Smug: ... I hate you
God: See you next time

 

[BasilisK]

Wow, this thread changed topic a bit... heh..

 

[Samuel]

Me:
Hello, god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
I am the one called Samuel, son of Donald
God:
You are not the only one.
Me:
hmmm, true
God:
Gee. You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
ha good one
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
so....
God:
Groovy.
Me:
what's up?
God:
Same old.
Me:
cool, cool
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
what?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
jerk
God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
hmmph!
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
how 'bout them bears?
God:
How about it.
Me:
yup
God:
Come on.
Me:
wil I get the Ironbird?
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
yes or no?
God:
Mmm. Are you serious?
Me:
stfu
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
brown
God:
it is a very pretty color.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
stfu
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
shut
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
the
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
up
God:
Did you see the movement?
Me:
shut the fuck up!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
ARRRRGH!
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
I'll kill you!
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, .
Me:
DIE!
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
O RLY?
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
w/e
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
die
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
just.....ugh
God:
It's only just begun. Er.
Me:
you're killing me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
omg

 

[LORD_RED_DRAGON]

God likes Jenna .. he can't be all that bad.

Jenna Jameson??? anyway...

me Jerry Springer totally sucks balls, so why the hell is he still alive???

god because his TV show hasn't been cancelled yet

me but why is the Jerry Springer show still on the air?

god people are stupid

me why are people stupid?

god because people are too lazy to become inteligent

me why are people so fucking lazy???

god modern world food is toxic to the extent of causing extreme apathy

me food toxic??? why???

god Satan did it

me so... is Satan also responsible for Hitler killing Jews???

god no, that was me, Jews are evil i punished them for killing my son Jesus

Eric Cartman I KNEW IT!!!

 

[BasilisK]

R.I.P. This Thread

11/13/05 - 01/16/06

 

[judas69]

*tear* .. I didn't even know it was sick

 

[BasilisK]

Yep. Tragic.....