Here's yet another whacked day in my action-packed life:
So I was at supermarket the other day, looking at fish for dinner. They had a sign saying, “unadvertised special” on Monk Fish, which captured my attention.
Now, I had only heard of the Monk Fish as one of those mythological creatures. A book I’d seen on unexplained animals had the Monk Fish tucked somewhere between the Loch Ness Monster and Sasquatch, and featured a medieval print of what was basically a portly friar with the tail of a fish.
I’m not one to cannibalize clerics by any means. But to me, the fillets looked like flounder, so I bought a pound of it.
It was when preparing the fillets with lemon juice that the worms came wriggling out. As you can imagine, my wife had a fit!
We went back to the store with the fillets and the worms in a bag, and plopped it on the service desk. When I explained what happened, the girl behind the desk said, “That’s so gross, I’m gonna throw up!”
Then Lil Gay Steve (my wife presumed his sexual orientation based on hand movements and a pinched voice), standing around like a lump of dough while listening to our story, assured us that all fish have worms and parasites, and he just closes his eyes and hopes they die during cooking. Well! That's a very nice touch.
"Fine, Lil Gay Steve! You can fry up the Monk Fish and its lovely worms! Bon appetit!"
I demanded a refund for the room temperature bag o fish, and compensation for having our dinner shipwrecked. Then we used their coupon to buy fish-n-chips! We let them do the cooking, so we didn’t have to witness all these parasites.
Frankly, it’s the first time in my life I ever saw worms in the flesh of a fish. Obviously, something went wrong during processing. Perhaps whoever cleaned the fish left the guts on the fillet.
I mean, how many hundreds of fish did I see my dad clean? He removed the guts and threw them away before proceeding with cutting out the fillets.
I’d imagine processing plants do the same thing, to prevent parasites that inevitably live in the gastrointestinal tract from migrating. (I didn’t have the humor to explain all this to Lil Gay Steve). Either that, or it was a sick fish with a serious infestation problem that would have been obvious the moment it was caught, and should have been discarded rather than processed.
But the real lesson is: This is the first and last time I buy mythological fish for dinner!
Believe me, if I ever see mermaid, kraken, sea serpent, or loch ness fillets for sale, I shall be certain to steer clear of them!
Jurched
So I was at supermarket the other day, looking at fish for dinner. They had a sign saying, “unadvertised special” on Monk Fish, which captured my attention.
Now, I had only heard of the Monk Fish as one of those mythological creatures. A book I’d seen on unexplained animals had the Monk Fish tucked somewhere between the Loch Ness Monster and Sasquatch, and featured a medieval print of what was basically a portly friar with the tail of a fish.
I’m not one to cannibalize clerics by any means. But to me, the fillets looked like flounder, so I bought a pound of it.
It was when preparing the fillets with lemon juice that the worms came wriggling out. As you can imagine, my wife had a fit!
We went back to the store with the fillets and the worms in a bag, and plopped it on the service desk. When I explained what happened, the girl behind the desk said, “That’s so gross, I’m gonna throw up!”
Then Lil Gay Steve (my wife presumed his sexual orientation based on hand movements and a pinched voice), standing around like a lump of dough while listening to our story, assured us that all fish have worms and parasites, and he just closes his eyes and hopes they die during cooking. Well! That's a very nice touch.
"Fine, Lil Gay Steve! You can fry up the Monk Fish and its lovely worms! Bon appetit!"
I demanded a refund for the room temperature bag o fish, and compensation for having our dinner shipwrecked. Then we used their coupon to buy fish-n-chips! We let them do the cooking, so we didn’t have to witness all these parasites.
Frankly, it’s the first time in my life I ever saw worms in the flesh of a fish. Obviously, something went wrong during processing. Perhaps whoever cleaned the fish left the guts on the fillet.
I mean, how many hundreds of fish did I see my dad clean? He removed the guts and threw them away before proceeding with cutting out the fillets.
I’d imagine processing plants do the same thing, to prevent parasites that inevitably live in the gastrointestinal tract from migrating. (I didn’t have the humor to explain all this to Lil Gay Steve). Either that, or it was a sick fish with a serious infestation problem that would have been obvious the moment it was caught, and should have been discarded rather than processed.
But the real lesson is: This is the first and last time I buy mythological fish for dinner!
Believe me, if I ever see mermaid, kraken, sea serpent, or loch ness fillets for sale, I shall be certain to steer clear of them!
Jurched
uke:
