The 101 Rules of Progressive Metal(contribute!)

[Harp Heaven]

I really hope this is one big joke because it's among the most NOT OPEN-MINDED things I've ever read. To call other music lower forms is not the most intelligent thing to say, especially since you said earlier that prog is music for intelligent people. I didn't think the treshold started as low as IQ=1,3.

If you listen to a good prog band you'll hear they incorporate all of the above forms of music in one way or another. Pop is only a definition for music that is created to be easy listening so that lots of people can get into it and buy it. It is not a style in music! If suddenly everyone listened to Symphony X, would you call it pop? I hope your answer to that is a bit more intelligent than this thread.

Oh, and if this was just for fun, and had nothing to with what anyone REALLY thought, don't get mad.

Heard of this thing called "irony"? I remember learning it when I was 13.

 

[Dado-x]

I really hope this is one big joke because it's among the most NOT OPEN-MINDED things I've ever read. To call other music lower forms is not the most intelligent thing to say, especially since you said earlier that prog is music for intelligent people. I didn't think the treshold started as low as IQ=1,3.

If you listen to a good prog band you'll hear they incorporate all of the above forms of music in one way or another. Pop is only a definition for music that is created to be easy listening so that lots of people can get into it and buy it. It is not a style in music! If suddenly everyone listened to Symphony X, would you call it pop? I hope your answer to that is a bit more intelligent than this thread.

Oh, and if this was just for fun, and had nothing to with what anyone REALLY thought, don't get mad.

My God!! Do you people have any sense of humour whatsoever up there in Sweden? I'd really hate to see what your comedy shows are like!

 

[Macy]

My God!! Do you people have any sense of humour whatsoever up there in Sweden? I'd really hate to see what your comedy shows are like!

I knew you'd would react this way. That's why I said I'm OK with it if it's a joke. If you say what you wrote was just for fun, chill out, so was my reply LEARN TO READ ENTIRE POSTS.

Can't a person speak his/her mind? If you're so open-minded you should be able to accept my opinion. Sorry to ruin your little threat-for-fun, I just didn't find it very amusing, only s*u*i*. My sense of humour isn't about discussing why I'm better than other people.

 

[Harp Heaven]

That's why I said I'm OK with it if it's a joke. If you say what you wrote was just for fun, chill out, so was my reply LEARN TO READ ENTIRE POSTS.

Macy, I read your entire post, but I had no idea how anybody could take the sort of thing I wrote seriously without lacking some basic understanding of writing.

 

[Suicide]

76. Accuse someone of not understanding the true meaning behind a progressive song if they claim they could understand it the first time around they heard it.

 

[Harp Heaven]

Great!

 

[Polyeidus]

77. You must listen to ELP, all early Genesis, Yes, and Camel, to consider yourself a 'TRUE' prog fan, even if you don't like it.

 

[Demonspell]

78. If you are a keyboard player, be sure to spend every last cent buying both the latest synth setups and vintage instruments. A true prog keyboarder has a separate home for all his instruments.

 

['Shuggah]

79. Speaking of time; N/M, where N is greater than 8 and prime is the norm. And if you can't do time where M has three digits (a.k.a. "Lightning-speed riffs/licks"), you're not prog. Go back to playing Beatles covers, you wuss.

80. If your band cannot handle different time for each member, it is doomed for failure.

 

[SilentRealm]

ROTFLMFAO@this thread..

4. Refer to progressive metal as intelligent music for intelligent people, and proudly state this in every occasion where a mainstream group or genre is mentioned.

- When asked by a non-proggie what prog really is, say something like, “prog is the evolution of musical expression and experimentalism in rock”, in any case, make sure that the person is left to come up with his own definition of prog.

- Publicly state that your band is non-religious, then make many religious and/or spiritual allusions in the lyrics.


ok ok theres too many i liked to post em all..all over again..but those were a couple of ma favorites..just wish i was witty enough to think up some myself

 

[Mr. Shred-ididle]

Uh, i think were upto 84.

84. All great prog band first albums are either crap, or by far their worst. see SyX, DT for example.

 

[Demonspell]

I can easily refute that one, but for the purposes of this thread I won't...

 

[Mr. Shred-ididle]

Good idea.

And yes, that wasn't true but I couldn't think of any others. But the two greatest prog bands first albums are pretty bad compared to the others (SyX and DT.)

 

[Zax666]

85. Don't think that if you play guitar you should not do like your keyboardist. Go and make a several "refirigator" racks, not that you can't go with a single 6-space one, but how the fuck would the fans notice it? Also have ton of cabinets, it's not that you don't really need that, but again, WHO is going to see you if you don't display 'em?

86. If you play bass buy get one with as many strings as you can, I think the limit so far is 9 strings, but no worry, they'll exend it for sure. Also have ALL other types - 4,5,6,7 and 8 stringed. Oh, and don't forget your fellow 12-string, you'll definitelly need it for half a minute in a certain song. Plus you need an 4 string fretted acoustic and a 5-string fretless one. Definitelly. And that's just the TYPES, make sure you get backups for each one. The fact that your axes take up more space that your drummer's stuff shouldn't worry you either. Oh, forgot the double bass, didn't I?

87. I you play guitar you MUST have an Eventide harmonizer, even two as a matter of fact as they take 4 seconds to swith form one preset to another. And a vintage Mesa/Boogie Mark IIc+, but you probably already know that.
88. Prog is ALL about showing off. Show off with your equipment. Show off with your playing/singing. Show off with your *ahem* length. Show off with your girlfriend. Show off with anything you can think of. Show off with your DOG for god's sake. As long as you have one. If you don't-get one.

Hope mine were fine...

 

['Shuggah]

88. Prog is ALL about showing off. -- Show off with your DOG for god's sake.

*ROFLMAO*

That's a great one.

 

[Suicide]

Show off with your girlfriend. Show off with anything you can think of. Show off with your DOG for god's sake. As long as you have one. If you don't-get one.

Haha ... a little dramatic ... but a good one ... lol

 

[Harp Heaven]

Amazing, Zax. I`ll contribute with one of my own, inspired by yours:

89. Making a band? Make sure your bandname is either a
a)Oxymoron

-Silent Noise
-Tender Harshness
-Healing Gun

b)Some geeky sounding name ripped from some obscure book.

-Deitronus
-Tarakoch
-Fentaran

or

c)Random combination of at least 2 three-syllable words.

-Eternal Twilight Tranquility(Can`t get much progger than that)
-Redolent Arithmetic
-Evolution of Vernacular Domesticated

Don`t worry about if your name makes any sense or not, your fanbase in Brazil and Japan are not likely to understand anyway.

90. Release a live-album called "Live in Tokyo". This is non-negotiable.

 

[Mr. Shred-ididle]

HAAAAAAAEHAAAA!! *cough* HAAA!

I agree, you can't get musch prggier Eternal Twilight Tranquility! Thats a good name for an album btw!

If I ever get a band in Australia (phat chance) I have thought of some good prog names like "Sonic Diamond", "Nemesis", "Calisto" (a moon on Jupiter),
"Catylistic Substances" or a good intrumental band is "Pandimonia" LOL

 

[Demonspell]

That was damned funny...although one of the proposals is already taken...there's a band called Nemesis on Sensory...www.lasercd.com

 

[ProgMetalFan]

Those band names were hilarious!