Something to try if any of you havn't (or to improve on if you have
)
The next time you use a substance, actually use it, e.g., have a goal for using it (or simply realize that you are already using it for a goal).
This is opposed to abusing it, in other words just getting fucked up because you like how it makes your body feel.
While using, think about what you truly want in life. For most people this can be boiled down to simply being at peace with ones self:
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In example:
"I want to be rich" Why?
blahblahblah You eventualy get to:
"I want to be happy" How is this achieved?
One way you can answer this is: "Stop wanting"
This is much harder to live by at first then it is to "think" about.
So simply start with the thought.
Don't want life.
Don't want death.
How is this achieved? By understanding and being satisfied with the simple fact that you exist.
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Being at peace with yourself.
From this you have the ability, if you want, to be at peace with the existence of everything else.
Through this you can, for lack of better words, control how you feel in every sense of the word simply because you realize that you've had the ability to do so ever since you were born.
I believe this is how depression in any severity can be cured.
At least it is how I have cured mine (as far as I know, only the rest of my life will tell).
And the best way to understand a sickness is to first have that sickness.
This is the idea. I'm still working on finding words to describe what ever the fuck I'm beginning to feel.
Who knows for sure? Maybe I'm in an early stage of some sort of psychosis?
Maybe psychosis is a word other people use to describe a body that is in "auto-pilot", i.e., the true self(soul) has exited before the body has died?
In the end this is what my thoughts while high have led to at the momment, or at least what I can put to words so far.
A feeling realized while being high, but one that remains after you are done being high.
...That or tl;dr