goddamn it, the more I deny it the more I realize how fucking desperate I really am. I can manipulate my emotions fairly well (fuck I am a salesman, I manipulate shit for a living) but I realize I am probably not going to get laid until I can stop EXPECTING to get laid and just not give a fuck any more. In any case, I have gotten some decent experience the last 2 weeks talking to girls and seeing what works and doesn't work. I am going through those growning pains right now and I am probably going to get rejected many more times before I really figure this shit out. In any case, the more I try the faster I will get through the growing pains and hopefully get to where I want to be, which is getting laid on a very regular basis, in 5 or 6 months instead of a year or two
now if I could only make myself truely not care, things would probably become a lot easier.
right now I am at that akward stage between AFC (average frustrated chump) and Alpha Male that is called RAFC (recovering average frustrated chump). I tell you what that, this PUA shit has opened up my eyes and made me extremely proud of who I am and what I do. People somehow think that being a PUA is about projecting a false image, when in reality it is about empowering yourself to be the best you can ever be.