nf: slightly afraid. the doctors said i can leave, but i'm not really sure it's a good idea. too much pain. i don't feel up for going to work tomorrow, let alone cross the ocean. and while i do know that i'm not supposed to do so in any traumatic way such as, say, swimming (eventhough apparently swimming is really good for me), i still am not sure i want to. eh well, it's work, so i will just pack up and go. i never thought i would get to the point where i'd rather stay home than go to america, ewww.