WOW, Will, you just depressed me by your response. Seriously uncalled for. Take care of yourself, instead of others taking care of you.
Some you made *ME* laugh!!! I love the masterbates furiously thing. Never fails to make me smile. And G is right....damn. Except for the bitches part. I'll exclude myself from that comment, and not make you pay.
So....wanna hear a joke? I'm sure it's lame....
A gynecologist is finally fed up with skyrocketing insurance rates, and being sued. He thinks, and he thinks, "what can I do?" He decides after much soul searching...he's going to become an auto mechanic.
He takes the test to see if he qualifies. he does. For two years he studies and studies, surpassing all his teachers expectations....till the final. The final is to take an engine out, and put it back in and make it run again. The former doctor does it in record time, with finesse and utmost attention to detail. So. Later on...The teacher hands out the grades from the final. The former doctor got 150%! "How is it that I got a hundred and fifty percent from a final score of only a hundred?" The new mechanic asks humbly. The teacher: "Well, half the grade is taking the engine out. Half the grade is putting it back in and in working order. Thing is, you did it through the muffler, so you get another 50%!" GET IT? Only if you're a chick! BLAM! Take that.
Another. If it doesn't make you laugh, it'll make you vomit. A dude is in the bar. He's sitting next to this guy who has Leprosy....who's a bit smelly, disheveled, and quite frankly, a mess to look at. So the first dude, feeling sorry for him, buys them a round of beers. Problem is, the dude that bought the beer vomits. And he vomits, then he vomits some more. The smelly dude asks, "You alright? Is it me? Do I smell?" "No dude. It's not you." Another round of beer. More profuse vomiting. And more, and more. "Dude, you're throwing up because of what mess I am. I know it. It's okay, you don't have to keep buying me beers. I'll be fine." "No dude! It's not you! I swear it's not you! Here, lets make up for it, and have another round of beers." The bartender nearly cuts the vomiter off, but says okay. One more round. And the dude vomits again. And again. And again. "That's it! I am not drinking with you anymore! If you find me so disgusting with my leprosy I'll just go somewhere else! Thanks for the beers, buddy!"
"DUDE! I said it wasn't you, and I meant it! It's not you!!!!!!!!!!!
It's the dude behind you dipping his chips in your back."
Sicko's UNITE!
Now, someone, please masterbate furiously.