The best jokes..
- Thread starter outrageous
- Start date
BasilisK
Good day, pusscake.
Serbian_Boy
New Metal Member
The Chetnic (Serbian army guy) meets the litle Croatian boy and saeds: "Are you afrade of my big beard?"
litle Croatian boy: No.
The Chetnic: Are you afrade of my big gun?
litle Croatian boy: No!
The Chetnic: Are you afrade of my big knife?
litle Croatian boy: YES!!!!
The Chetnic: Don't worry, I have smaler for YOU.
litle Croatian boy: No.
The Chetnic: Are you afrade of my big gun?
litle Croatian boy: No!
The Chetnic: Are you afrade of my big knife?
litle Croatian boy: YES!!!!
The Chetnic: Don't worry, I have smaler for YOU.
The Heartbreak Kid
Afterimage
BasilisK
Good day, pusscake.
Babykabob
Jake-RTM
yeh, but they think spending a shiteload of $$ on a new stadium and trying to buy a new team is going to help 'em... uke: my damn tax money at work eh...
uke: my damn tax money at work eh...
molochete
King Of Kings
Fevermist
Faltering Image
BasilisK
Good day, pusscake.
Fevermist said:haha this thread owns
Hmm... Thales banner looking really familiar... Weren't you called "Hearse" at some point? Or something like that... ?
Fevermist
Faltering Image
Three vampires walk into a bar. One orders a blood on the rocks. Another orders a double blood. The third simply asks for a mug of hot water.
"Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender.
The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "I'm making tea!"
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A wife comes in and yells, "Honey! Pack your clothes! I just won the lottery!"
Her husband yells back, "But should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"
The wife replies, "I DON'T CARE! JUST GET OUT!"
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What is a man's idea of doing housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
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What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
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yep, same guy, I'm sorry
"Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender.
The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "I'm making tea!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A wife comes in and yells, "Honey! Pack your clothes! I just won the lottery!"
Her husband yells back, "But should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"
The wife replies, "I DON'T CARE! JUST GET OUT!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
What is a man's idea of doing housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
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BasilisK said:
yep, same guy, I'm sorry
The Heartbreak Kid
Afterimage
BasilisK
Good day, pusscake.
TheDukeOfKahn
Not just for lubing
Serbian_Boy
New Metal Member
Why did Michael Jackson shop at K-Mart?
-He heard boys' pants were 1/2 off.
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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
-It was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
-it was stapled to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
-Peer pressure.
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A blonde walked into a bar and said "Ouch."
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Three dudes, an asian, a black guy, and a blonde American are taking a tour in the Grand Canyon. They reach a spectacular vista and enjoy the view. To the side they see a tour group, with people jumping off the cliff. Alarmed, they ask the tour guide what is happening.
"Oh, it's a magic cliff. You shout what you want to be when you jump off, and that's what it turns you into."
So the asian guy runs off. "I want to be a bird!" Poof! He becomes an eagle and soars away.
The black guy runs off. "I want to be a horse!" Poof! He becomes a stallion and jumps from one side of the canyon to the other (yeah I know it can't happen)
Finally the blonde guy runs toward the cliff. "I wanna be--" he trips. "SHIT!"
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What did the drum and cymbal say when they fell off the cliff?
-Badum tish
-He heard boys' pants were 1/2 off.
----------
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
-It was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
-it was stapled to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
-Peer pressure.
-----------
A blonde walked into a bar and said "Ouch."
-----------
Three dudes, an asian, a black guy, and a blonde American are taking a tour in the Grand Canyon. They reach a spectacular vista and enjoy the view. To the side they see a tour group, with people jumping off the cliff. Alarmed, they ask the tour guide what is happening.
"Oh, it's a magic cliff. You shout what you want to be when you jump off, and that's what it turns you into."
So the asian guy runs off. "I want to be a bird!" Poof! He becomes an eagle and soars away.
The black guy runs off. "I want to be a horse!" Poof! He becomes a stallion and jumps from one side of the canyon to the other (yeah I know it can't happen)
Finally the blonde guy runs toward the cliff. "I wanna be--" he trips. "SHIT!"
----------
What did the drum and cymbal say when they fell off the cliff?
-Badum tish
Human Desert
Pirun Morsian
