The best jokes..

[biggsy]

lol.... a couple of sexist ones:

why do women get periods?

because they deserve them

aaaand:

a passenger plane was going down over the atlantic sea, and the captain had told them there was little chance anybody would survive. a woman stands up in the isle, rips off her shirt and says "which man is man enough to make me feel like a woman?' so one man stands up, rips off his shirt, throws it to her and says 'here, iron this.'

 

[The Heartbreak Kid]

I fucking love Jokes!

 

[TheDukeOfKahn]

Bill Clinton and the 3 Presidents that preceded him go to the Land of Oz. Jimmy Carter walks up to the Great and Powerful Oz, who asks him "What can I do for you?" Jimmy responds, "well I think I need a heart." The Oz snaps his fingers, "its done. Who's next?" Reagan walks up and mumbles that he needs a brain. The Great and Powerful snaps his fingers once more; "Its done Ronny." George Bush Sr. walks up, saying, "Well, uh, I need courage." Oz snaps his fingers once more, and its done.

Finally, Bill Clinton walks up. "What can I do for you, Bill?" the Great and Powerful Oz asks. Clinton pauses for a moment, bites his lip, and looks up: "Where's Dorothy?"

 

[Horus]

^

I like TheDukeOfKhan's sig.

 

[Tongue_Ring]

a guy is sitting on the living room couch with a large cup of budweiser and a large cup of coors sitting on the coffee table

2nd guy is sitting at the dining room table in the dining room

guy in the living room screams "aagghh, i got beer in my eye"

guy in the dining room says "which one?"

guy in the living room says "my left eye"

guy in the dining room says "no, which beer?"

 

[biggsy]

racist!!!
what do you do if you see your tv floating at night?
yell: drop it my pals!

why did god give seagulls wings?
to beat the aboriginals to the tip

how do you turn a female into a dimsim?
cut off her arms and legs and pull her arms over her head....

 

[entanglement]

racist!!!
what do you do if you see your tv floating at night?
yell: drop it my pals!

 

[molochete]

racist!!!
what do you do if you see your tv floating at night?
yell: drop it my pals!

OMG So FN Funny

 

[Puckfiend]

Posted on a different board:

Between songs during a U2 concert in Dublin, Bono asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says in to the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice from near the front pierces the silence: "Well, fucking stop clapping then!!"

.........................

What's the easiest way to kill 100 flies at once?

Swat an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

........................

A blonde and a brunette are having coffee one morning. The blonde is reading the newspaper and reads a headline out loud to the brunette: "12 Brazilian soldiers killed in conflict" then asks, "How many is in a brazillion?"

 

[Astrum]

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza?

A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven

 

[molochete]

Between songs during a U2 concert in Dublin, Bono asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says in to the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice from near the front pierces the silence: "Well, fucking stop clapping then!!"

Lol

 

[The Heartbreak Kid]

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza?

A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven

Thats probably on every single page. Good but heard too much.

Bono is a twat.

 

[Astrum]

How do you get a my pals out of a tree?


Cut the rope.

 

[BasilisK]

Alright, enough of the racist jokes for the time being. Last time we went through this it started annoying board fights and more people ended up leaving.

 

[biggsy]

i tried to warn people

At a local college, there was a dance.

A guy from America asked the girl from SWeden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too." A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, 'In America, we call this a kiss". She replies, "yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too." Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich". She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."

 

[Horus]

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and.... (scroll down for the answer)














































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































What, you actually thought something was gonna happen?

 

[biggsy]

that was a lot of scrolling

 

[entanglement]

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and.... (scroll down for the answer)














































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































What, you actually thought something was gonna happen?

0h 0ops

 

[satanscalypso]

michael jackson raped so many kids he ran out of breath and turned white

 

[The Heartbreak Kid]

Hahaha

Ptah you basterd