Im going to use this, a very good friend of mine made this and it seems more then usefull right now:
The eternal struggle continues. "What struggle?" you may ask. Could it be the struggle between Batman and Superman? Or perhaps the struggle between good and evil? Boxers or briefs? Condoms or pulling out? Well, the answer is: none of the above!
PIRATES VERSUS NINJAS!
Now, I know that it may be a sore subject for many, as the consensus is always split 50/50, and nobody will admit defeat. So I offer my services in ending this age-old battle for supremecy.
Point 1 - Fighting ability:
While most would end the argument right here with a simple, exhasperated "Dude! Ninjas can do karate!", please allow me to retort. The common ninja can use the art of "ninjutsu", not karate. And, while ninjutsu is a very impressive, and effective style of fighting, the common pirate does not allow himself to be pigeon-holed into one specific fighting style. Pirates can use whatever comes to mind as a fighting style. They can fight dirty or clean, with fists and feet, they can use whatever is around them as a weapon, and perhaps the most effective thing in the pirate arsenal, alcohol. If you've ever been drunk, you know that you don't feel pain. Since pirates are usually drunk (or close to it), they can fight without fear of pain,all the while, the ninja is getting his ass handed to him by the big, near-invincible pirate.
Advantage: Pirate.
Point 2 - Weapons:
Pirates can use whatever they can find as a weapon, we've established this, but the ninja comes adequatly prepared for battle. While the pirate may have his sword and his gun, and maybe a powder bomb or two, the ninja has a plethora of weapons at his disposal, such as the ninja sword (slightly better made than a pirate sword), an ass load of shuriken (throwing stars), powder/smoke bombs, and throwing knives. That's not even taking into account that many ninja can perform various types of magic (ooohh). However, despite all of this, the pirate has the better weapon: his mates. Pirates don't fight fair, so if one of them is in a fight, the rest will jump in.
Advantage: Pirate.
Point 3 - Social skills:
The ninja, while a fierce fighter to the end, does not leave the dojo much. A ninjas only friends are other ninja, and they never go on dates, which is odd, because if you've ever read Real Ultimate Power, then you'd know that ninjas have HUGE boners and wail on guitars. You'd think that with all that, ninjas would never be alone on the weekend, but they are. That's just how it is. Now, a pirate has some social skills. Pirates dock at small port towns filled with women, and go crazy. Have you ever heard of a lonely pirate? Of course not! Pirates take what they want, when they want, at all times. Without exeption.
Advantage: Pirate.
Point 4 - Music.
"Music?" You say? Of course you do, that's why I'm here. While many believe that ninjas make japanese music and pirates make acordion music, you're wrong yet again. Both ninjas and pirates can wail on the guitar, but only the pirate has enough friends to form a whole band. "But, what kind of music do they play?" You're saying right now. Why, metal of course! You big silly. It's simple really, Ninjas make J-Metal/AniMetal/Power Metal, and pirates make Celtic Metal/Prog Metal/Thrash Metal/Power Metal/Classical Metal. There are exeptions to this rule, of course. For example, Flogging Molly and Tsunami Bomb are both punk bands, but pirates nontheless. On the ninja front, I can't seem to find anything but metal, so we'll just leave it at that. This part of the debate is really up to the individual, as we all have different taste in music. However, since my opinion is the only one that matters in all of existence, mine is the one we'll be using.
Advantage: Pirate.
Point 5 - Language:
Ninjas=Konichiwa!
Pirates=Aargh!
Advantage: Pirate.
So, at a score of 5 to 0, I rule in favor of the pirates. Their victory was apparent from the start, but the ninjas put up a good fight. The ninjas still get to be the second most badass, right in front of vikings at number three, but the pirates are supreme overall. I award the pirate first prize: a lifetime supply of rum and pub-wenches!
And so concludes this round of "Who is the Bigger Badass"
*though I must retort...vikings own ninja pussies, but vikings are basically just nordic pirates!*
cool picture
