The Official Poetry Thread

[Lotus_Eater_RVD]

here is a place where we can share and critique each other's poetic and/or lyrical side. be honest in your critiques, trust me, sometimes a negitive critique can help a poet or lyricist get better!

this poem i wrote a few days ago...and is untitled...if any of you have a good title for it, i would be much obliged.

Untitled
--------
glace inside
i cant see inside you
anymore its hard
to see just what's
happened to you
and it always seems so hard
to see
what's always so wrong
with your life
i know just what
and i wish it could die
silent lonely death

i rewind
and i look in your eyes
and i cry
because
you need my
sense of peace of mind
jealousy
a devil's planted seed
watered by your heart
slowly then
the hatred reverses
your love
and you slowly turn away

 

[BodomPrincess]

hey that's a cool poem

good thread idea btw

 

[Lotus_Eater_RVD]

thanks and thanks. you have any to share??

 

[Maili Björklund]

Hm........ gotta go look if there are any of my poems that I would like to publish...

 

[Lanterns]

Hm........ gotta go look if there are any of my poems that I would like to publish...

 

[Maili Björklund]

ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haa :Shedevil: Nut knows everything...

 

[Lotus_Eater_RVD]

Silent Tears
------------

the autumn dies
silently, releases final breath
deep secret incision
caused by the cold
depression of winter
cold

i find myself in side
crying a dead man's tear
i'm surrounded by family
surrounded by love
but once again
alone
on a moonlit night

 

[spellbound-by-the-bodom]

there is 1 before but a new one is cool

 

[Lotus_Eater_RVD]

thank you!

 

[Lotus_Eater_RVD]

bump, and lets get some other poets in here...don't be ashamed of your work, i bet we have a lot of talent around these parts!

 

[BodomPrincess]

i'll look for a good one of mine..

 

[Lotus_Eater_RVD]

good!!!

 

[BodomPrincess]

"Phenomena"
Candle beside me,
Flame burns out,
Stand up tall
And watch the rain fall,
Gentle, silent,
Lost in a moment,
Whirling through the wind which leads me to the countryside,
Look up above
And down below,
The earth sings to me like it never has before,
Reached my hands up towards the sky,
Lightning struck past my eyes,
Pulls me up to crimson painted clouds,
Thunder crashes,
But not aloud,
Mist sets in the blue hills,
And leaves behind faery's dust,
Falling up against my will,
And following along the dark path,
The heavens are settled,
But not for long,
A bursting star lights up the world,
Swirls of planets soon align,
Fading blue sky divine.

 

[Lotus_Eater_RVD]

*claps* awesome piece of work BodomPrincess!!!

 

[BodomPrincess]

thanks

 

[ShadowOfFire]

Well I am definitely NO poet but I'll share a piece I wrote a while back for the hell of it. As you can tell through it I like snow, frost, moon, night that type of shit.. which is why I love Immortal Souls so much.. anyway here it is.

Wondering if everything’s alright
I sit alone on a cold moon night
Walking through the snow
That has just fallen
Dying in the frost
Knowing I will be forgotten
The cold hard ice
Gleams from the moon
As it flickers away
My time will come soon
This darkness surrounds me
Wanting my soul to be free
This pain I deal inside
Not knowing where I will reside
Thinking to myself
Is there a heaven or hell?
Walking through the cold
As I hear the reapers bell
I know... I am gone

 

[Lotus_Eater_RVD]

nice work, and i think i kinda made the title of this thread misleading....this thread is open to lyrics, poetry, anything that is writing!!!

 

[Lanterns]

Think Sinergy, Razorblade Salvation.....

"NO SALVATION"
First time I heard the song so deep
A trip back to ‘98, but his not mine
THEIRS not mine
With the bottle close at hand, and all doors locked
By myself...thought I was safe
As in this darkened room
Her soft sensual voice started pouring
Sweeping over me, penetrating
Warm affectionate singing coldly RAPING me
Without the slightest trace of mercy
Sadistic clouds soaked with a flaming
Passion so unique and sacred
Come falling down and suffocate me
It’s in here with me, haunting, teasing
The sound of deep red kisses
Smoothly bullying the life out of me
And I surrender to this unbearable pain
Just let it crush me and drown me in these tears
As I realise that WHAT NOW IS A DREAM
HE’LL NEVER EVER MAKE REALITY for me
It was unique, that fond bloody healing
He’ll never be that close to anyone else
Burning obsession pouring out like the rain...
NO SALVATION FOR ME
NO SALVATION FOR ME
NO SALVATION FOR ME
Either I die now or I will forever starve
Forever suffer
Either I die RIGHT NOW or I will
Forever scream bloody expressionism
Forever bleed expressionism
Either I put an end to this cruel starving RIGHT NOW
(This mummified heart’s too weak, WON’T TAKE IT)
Or I will forever scream, forever suffer
I will forever scream bloody expressionism
Forever bleed as I’m bleeding...
Burning FOR ALEXI right now...

 

[Lotus_Eater_RVD]

quite interesting Lanturn Nut!

 

[Lanterns]

quite interesting Lanturn Nut!

Thanks Hehe, actually I feel *A LITTLE* better now after writing it all down and having "a few" drinks
But I'm sure the pain (and the inspiration) will be back next time I listen to Razorblade Salvation; or next time I listen to ANY Sinergy or COB...