HAHAHA both pox and wilks,,, but can u beat this for crudness,,,lol
> > I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to > > arrange > > a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs. > > > > Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in > > the > > craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak > > and > > heat it. > > > > So I said "Do you want a game of Darts?", he said "OK then", I said > > "Nearest > > to bull starts". He said "Baa", I said "Moo", he said "You're closest". > > > > You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the > > night > > before and shoot the fox. > > > > The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, > > I > > said "Did you get my drift?" > > > > So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a > > complaint, > > this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions". > > > > I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull > > a > > fast one". > > > > So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said > > "Eurostar?".I said "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin". > > > > So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". > > He > > said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays". > > > > But I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack > > myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. > > > > So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was > > Wedgie Kray. > > > > So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a > > red > > rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I > > asked > > for > > a-ROMATIC duck". > > > > But I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a > > competition > > and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one jar. > > > > So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your > > carpets?". I thought "That's all I need, a Je-oover's witness". > > > > You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic > > converter. > > > > So I rang up British Telecom, I said "I want to report a nuisance > > caller", > > he said "Not you again". > > > > So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and > > there > > was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt. > > > > He said "You remind me of a pepper-pot", I said "I'll take that as a > > condiment". > > > > Now did you know all male tennis players are witches, for example > > Goran, > > even he's a witch. > > > > And I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's > > bisatchel. > > > > So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. > > I said "Are you two an item?". > > > > So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, > > thought > > "That's a turtle disaster". > > > > Four fonts walk into a bar The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want > > your type in here" > > > > A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but > > don't > > start anything" > > > > A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is > > this > > some kind of joke?" > > > > A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food > > in here" > > > > Dyslexic man walks into a bra > > > > A seal walks into a club... > > > > A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: > > "Pint > > please, and one for the road." > > > > A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to > > the > > bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." > > > > A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in > > the > > lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an > > hour, > > the > > manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" > > they > > asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts > > boasting in an open foyer." > > > > There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten > > different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. > > Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. > > > > A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to > > a > > family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in > > Spain, > > they name him Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to > > his > > mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished > > she > > also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. > > If > > you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." >
ok ok,, very silly ,, but stil funny,,, and what about this more topical one......
Hussein Family Tree
Now that Uday & Qusay have been eliminated, a lot of the lesser-known family members are coming to the attention of American authorities.
Among the brothers:
Sooflay ............the restaurateur
Guday...............the half-Australian brother
Huray...............the sports fanatic
Sashay..............the gay brother
Kuntay & Kintay.....the twins from the African mother
Sayhay..............the baseball player
Ojay................the stalker/murderer
Gulay...............the singer/entertainer
Ebay................the Internet czar
Biliray.............the country music star
Ecksray.............the radiologist
Puray...............the blender factory owner
Regay...............the half-Jamaican brother
Tupay...............the one with bad hair
Among the sisters:
Lattay..............the coffee shop owner
Bufay...............the 300 pound sister
Phayray.............the zoo worker in the gorilla house
Sapheway............the grocery store owner
Ollay...............the half-Mexican sister
Finally, there is Oyvey, but the family doesn't like to talk about him.
well hope u all laughed more than cringed!!,, hehe
ta ta for now peeps
Some good 'uns there!
