This ever happen to you?

[Jurched]

So there I was, tryin to work, when someone puts out a bowl filled with Rolos. Well, the ladies of the office start pickin away at em, and like, maybe I want a Rolo two hours from now. But no, those cows will eat em all before then.

So I said "Fuck that! I'm taking every goddamn Rolo and leaving an empty dish!"

And I did. Soon as I pocketed every one of em, Lil' Gay Mikey came pracing around the corner and cried "Oh my god, what happened to all the Rolos?"

So, was I being sensible by claiming my rightful portion of Rolos and thereby pacing my consumption to one Rolo every quarter hour for the next four hours?

Or was I being selfish and muthafucking everyone in the office by taking all the Rolos for myself and leaving them with fuckin ozone?

Jurched

 

[Buzzard]

What the fuck is a rolo?

 

[bobo'c]

I had the same question.What in the fuckk is a rolo?

 

[Vinnie Cappuccino]

Chocolate with a Caramel center, Pretty good, buy don't cry over lost rolos, Office Cows are funny.

 

[Arg_Hamster]

Rolos are so-so. Let the office cows have them!

 

[Vinnie Cappuccino]

Throw the Rolos at the office Cows, and watchem Scramble to grab every last one, now that's an Office Cow Party!

 

[Jurched]

C'mon! Everyone loves an office cow. Here's the first part.

(Billy will have to provide suitable music and closing lyrics!)

Office cows!
Office cows attack!
Devouring everything in their path
Waistlines rapidly expanding
Can nothing hold them back!

Office cows!
Pen-stealing!
Coupon-clipping!
Time-wasting!
Rolo-eating!
Coffee-guzzling!

Too thin to appear on Springer
Too fat to go to the beach!
Forever-dieting!
Forever-gos-sip-ping!
Eating everything within reach!

Office cows!
Too young to collect a pension!
Too old to have sex with the boss!
All the jobs going to India!
Firms operate at a loss!

Pen in those office cows!

 

[gaschamber]

mallo-cups, now thats something to fight over

 

[DeMysteriisDomCanuckus]

Jurched, I already have the music in my head. I shall record the guitar as soon as I can and then, if he is interested, shall pass it on to Billy.

 

[reidie]

rolos'are the mother fucking bomb!

Fuck the office cows, keep the rolo's to urself, if they complain tell them your helping them with their weight problems......

 

[bobo'c]

I'll have to check them out bros.

 

[Jurched]

DomCanuckus,

Sweet. Heavy on the bass, I hope. Keep the sound reminiscent of a crazed herd stampeding through a primeval swamp.

Yeah, Rolos are really good. Man, I haven't had them since I last went Trick-or-Treating. Like, last year. Some 50+ woman answered the door, holding Rolos, and said "You look too old to be Trick-or-treating." I replied, "Well you look too old to be alive. Now trick-or-treat means hand over the treats!" She must've been an office cow, sportin a perm like that!

This year, I'm taking my daughter out on Halloween, and keepin all the fuckin candy for myself. Anybody saying anything about her being too young, and I'll reply "Hey! Jujubees are perfect nutrition for toothless infants!"

Jurched

 

[Evil Dead]

.

 

[DeMysteriisDomCanuckus]

I was thinking down-tuned, but speedy crossover. In the key of B minor, possibly. I've got thrash/crossover riffs out the ass, too.

 

[Jurched]

Hey, you (and many others) know better than I. For sure, the chorus has gotta be the speediest thrash. We're talking cows on the rampage, damn it!

They wiped out the thin mints while I was on lunch break.... shit!

Jurched

 

[Vinnie Cappuccino]

Perhaps you sould just be patient with the cows, I'm sure they will die soon, all day candy consumption can't be good for you, I'm sure they will contract some kind of livestock disease, Udder rot perhaps, How big a heard are we talkin here!?

 

[GWOODS]

Hey, you (and many others) know better than I. For sure, the chorus has gotta be the speediest thrash. We're talking cows on the rampage, damn it!

They wiped out the thin mints while I was on lunch break.... shit!

Jurched

Damn thats too fucking funny! As a fellow office worker for the past 10 years, I have seen many office cows. I can picture the senseless slaughter of many thin mints now...ha ha

 

[Jurched]

Yeah, virtually everyone has seen this go down.

In "Office Space" starring unknown B-rated actors, they made a funny foray into the twisted office culture. Only thing was, it was an office full of men. Ain't nothin like where I work. This typical office is a fuckin boviary, broken down into various herds.

Hot chicks in Customer Service; (never get to see em, dammit)
Ugly dysfunctional wenches in Outbound Sales; (never get to see em, thank god)
Fat Asses in Order Entry; (see em on the way to the cafeteria, how fitting)
Grotesque matriarchs in upper management; and
Empty-nester cows in my dept. (surrounded by em)

Jurched

 

[gaschamber]

.

i dont know what it is, but that picture on a metal forum is very fuckin funny.

 

[The13thCandle]

.

Rolos are the devil. you must resist the temptations of the chewy caramel, brothers and sister! can I get an AMEN? fight the evil temptress of the creamy chocolate outer shell.. sorry turned into Benny Hinn for a minute.