TWO TOWERS, dudez!

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I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
Nov 8, 2001
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STELLAR film. They did change a lot from the book, more than Fellowship did, but even the changes were mostly done really well.

* Gollum looks fabulous--easily the best computer-generated character I've ever seen in a movie.

* OK, everyone who's read the books has a favourite member of the Fellowship. If yours is Gimli, I hope you enjoy pratfalls and short jokes, because he's become quite the clown. I thought it was fine. Then again, I'm an Aragorn man.

* Ents/Siege of Isengard: INSANELY cool-looking. They cut off the end of the book, namely the Saruman/Gandalf encounter, Shelob in her entirety, and Merry and Pippin finding the huge bale of pipeweed and smoking themselves into oblivion. Good stuff to kick off Return of the King with, I suppose.

* Brad Dourif: check-plus. His spite maneuver with the palantir either was cut or didn't yet happen, but he's a good sniveller.

* NO FUCKING ANDURIL STILL?!
 
*****I don't know if you can count this stuff as spoilers but...****


I feel like most of the stuff you mentioned that was cut from the end could easily get inserted into the third film - most of those things would have left off on a more light-hearted note that would have been inappropriate. Clearly Shelob will be making an appearance in the third film, and clearly the "homecoming" section of Return of the King is going to curtailed a bit. I only pray they've decided to lose the bullshit at the end with Saruman becoming Sharky - which is a part of the books I totally hate. I think I remember from a long time ago hearing that PJ changed it so Saruman dies at Isengard. I wouldn't be wild about that, but it's better than that dipshitty tagged-on Sharky shit.

I actually thought Treebeard himself was a little dissapointing looking, although some of the other Ents were quite cool. I just wanted them to be, well, bigger, and less anthropomorphic. But they were cool nonetheless, just not how I envisioned. And the siege of Isengard, which is one of my favorite scenes in the books was very satisfying. Although, if it were up to me, I wouldn't have messed with the Ent Moot.

Yeah, where the fuck is Anduril?

Battle of Helm's deep was every bit as good (and long!) as I hoped it would be. Definitely lives up to Peter Jackson's promise to make these movies "more like Braveheart than Willow". The Legolas surfboard thing was ridiulous, but still pretty awesome. He's pretty much my favorite character (when they're killing stuff, anyway) in the two movies so far.

Brad Dourif was good, but I really didn't like the "Saruman controlling Theoden" thing. I didn't see why he had to be possessed - oversimplified his character a little bit.

But that doesn't fucking matter cause Gollum was *AMAZING*. Not only was the cgi the best done so far, but the vocal performance and the animation associated with it so nailed everything! So great! I became immediately happy every single time Gollum was on screen. Holy crap, so good. Wretched, sinister, pathetic, funny. Holy shit. Those animators and that voice actor (Andy Serkis I think?) deserve a strong pat on the back and a hearty handshake, as well as the burlap sacks full of money they've no doubt already received.

Yay!!!!!Good movie!!!!!
 
how can you not be an aragorn man? HOT!!! (although i think they could have found a hotter actor... maybe somebody swedish)
 
Sam hold your fucking tongue. "The Scouring of the Shire" is the fucking culmination of the WHOLE STORY. The hobbits go off and face all this crazy evil etc etc, and come back to find it entrenched in their own land, and they don't have anyone to fall back on to help them. It's also the part of the book that really shows how much the journey has changed them all.

Also Alex they did mention Anduril and I'm pretty sure Aragorn is carrying it after Rivendell.
 
I think one of my biggest disappointments would be if they cut out Saruman's role at the end of the film. Arguably, the book's entire overarching theme is ruined without it. Of all the changes to make, Arwen and Entmoots and Gondor and whatever, I think that one would most wound what Tolkien was trying to say. The rape of the Shire is absolutely essential (although, to be fair, if they do figure out how to fuck the Shire without Saruman, it'll get most of the point across...).

It struck me again how political the films are going to seem to future generations, especially if this Iraq shit pans out into something bigger. I can totally see historians of the next century showing the scene where Merry lectures the Ents about how they can't stand by while the world gets fucked simply because it hasn't affected them in particular yet, and using it to explain American interventionism. I can't say I believe Jackson intended it that way, though.

Note to Preppy: DO NOT SEE THIS FILM. There is a rather gory rabbit part involving Gollum and a brace of coneys. Although the stew looked tasty when all was said and done.
 
hee hee totally! One of the major themes of LOTR is the inevitability and irreversibility of progress and industrialization..."you can't go home again". When the hobbits leave the Shire, it is understood that they are undertaking a suicide mission and they will never see their home again (either because they die, or it does). And it's a lesson about reward: saving the world doesn't mean saving your own homeland, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't save the world.

What do you mean about Anduril? I missed that entirely. The last time I remember hearing about it was in the FIRST film, when they show Aragorn the shards, and then it's never mentioned again. I had suspected Arwen might ride up to Helm's Deep right before the battle bearing the reforged sword for Aragorn, but that didn't happen...
 
Oh, wow, you mean he's had it since Fellowship? That would be horribly disappointing to me, since it's supposed to be a big deal and they don't make any deal of it at all. It has a huge presence at the battle of Helm's Deep, too...one of the first phrasings I remembered from the 'trilogy' as a kid was Anduril "flaming" in Aragorn's hand, visible from across the battlefield, as he kicked Uruk-hai ass.
 
nerd.gif
 
>Sam hold your fucking tongue. "The Scouring of the Shire" is the
>fucking culmination of the WHOLE STORY. The hobbits go off and
>face all this crazy evil etc etc, and come back to find it
>entrenched in their own land, and they don't have anyone to fall
>back on to help them. It's also the part of the book that really
>shows how much the journey has changed them all.

Agreed! The raping of the shire is super-important! What I hate is allowing Saruman to slink off (which I love!) but then having him show up 100 pages later to be killed by Grima. That's what I don't like. I much prefer Saruman slipping off into mediocrity not to be heard again for the rest of the book. 'Sayin.
 
Well, I heard they were removing the Scouring entirely. Supporting this theory: on the Fellowship DVD that just came out, there's a whole scene of "Concerning Hobbits" that was cut from the released version, whose entire purpose is to show how fun and peaceful and pastoral the Shire and its innocent inhabitants are. If they're not including the scouring, there's no need to impress upon the audience how good hobbits had it before the world got fucked around them...

I wonder how they'll handle Frodo and Sam and the culmination of the quest? The ending is so fucking...dark...in the book. Frodo fails completely, and you're suddenly made to realise that he wasn't the protagonist all along--Sam is the hero of "The Lord of the Rings". Does Hollywood have the balls to communicate that?
 
Also, I'm thinking now that pushing Gandalf's rebuke of Saruman off until ROTK was, in the words of a friend, disastrous. Gandalf's character has almost no development in the TT without that scene, which is supposed to delineate the new, whitey Gandalf. And it would make a better ending/climax than a starter, I think.
 
OK, Josh, I am pretty sure Anduril hasn't come back yet. In either the cut scenes or the actual Fellowship, I think they put off reforging Anduril because Elrond doesn't think a human is worthy enough for it, or something. Then in TT, there's a scene where Elrond finally decides to send elves to help the humans, and he's gazing at a portrait on the wall of Isildur wielding Anduril...so perhaps that will be what spurs him to realise Aragorn is worthy, and reforge it in time for ROTK.

Seriously, if Anduril was being wielded, I think you would know by the blazing streak of orc death.

Sam, to what are you referring?
 
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