Useless superpower

[The StabbinCabin]

I would be able to control the length of my eyeballs- except I would max out at about 30 inches or so and it would be painful and slow. They would still be hyper sensitive to dust and things and my heroic moments would mostly be spent fishing things out of sewage drains and other various unfitting situations.

Now you go.

 

[JonWormwood]

I can speed up the deterioration rate of styrofoam. So rather then taking 5000 years, it takes seconds!

 

[RedDog]

Had this conversation a while ago! I would be Reminder-man! I emit radiation that reminds you that you have something more important to do!

 

[Sloan]

I already have the useless superpower of finding horrible shit on the internet.

 

[AssNasty]

The ability to see through clothes, but only at the other person's consent

 

[DeclanWhite]

what

 

[J the TyranT]

Unlimited strength, but only when helping women shop by carrying all their fucking bags.

 

[Metal Overload]

When i was a kid, a friend of mine claimed that he had superpowers, like the power to know when someone turned on a Tv on another room

 

[StefTD]

burping without a sound...

 

[John_C]

control the length of my eyeballs

what???

 

[Lasse Lammert]

Invisibility when noones around

 

[blue_fAng]

Drugs are bad

 

[StefTD]

just realized that I got another superpower... no need to breath as long as I am surrounded by fresh air.

 

[LBTM]

I'd like to be able to teleport myself in the same location or to speak backwards.

Unlimited strength, but only when helping women shop by carrying all their fucking bags.

I could easily see this as a movie.

 

[drew_drummer]

I can speed up the deterioration rate of styrofoam. So rather then taking 5000 years, it takes seconds!

That is not useless.

 

[xFkx]

ability to hear 30k, I guess that's useful if you plan on buying the new yamaha hs's

 

[UncleBob]

My useless superpower would be to become an audiophile......hear skin effect-n-cable-directionality-n-shit.

 

[Mago]

Beeing able to literally shit bricks

 

[SocialNumb]

^ That could be useful and even profitable.

 

[Mago]

^I dunno, I think you wouldn't survive the first brick