What is so terrible about death anyhow?

NAD

NAD

What A Horrible Night To Have A Curse
Jun 5, 2002
38,465
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Kandarian Ruins
Every living thing will die someday, and unless there is some eternal damnation waiting around the corner, it's only true effect is on those left behind. Unfinished business mostly, as they will never get that last chance to say something they've been meaning to for years, or even something as simple as sharing a beer in mutual silence. So why is it is so damn sad?!

I just received a call from Mom, her closest friend of more years than I've been around recently died. He was actually the most influential person in my life when it comes to music, since he gave me my first taste of rock n' roll when I was 3 years old (a mix tape of the Vandals, Suicidal Tendencies, and the Smiths).

Terrence Word, Rest In Peace. :cry:
 
I've lost a few very close people in my life, but the older I get the more I realize that it's just being selfish. When someone is gone, they are gone. The only thing left is your own unfinished business. But it is still extremely hard.
 
I don't think I'll be in a good state if someone close to me passes away either, and I'm realistic to admit that it's going to happen sooner or later. If someone's had a good innings, and they die at peace with few regrets, then that would probably make it all the more comforting. And who said, "death is only the beginning"?

NAD, my sympathies.
 
The death of one who is close to us, whether it is in the form of a loved one, close friend or one who simply has given our life a greater sense of happiness or meaning is, by its very nature, an absence. No matter who you are, that absence will inevitibly bring an inate sense of sorrow and grief, which all of us show in differing ways, but is all part of the human experience.

My sympathy for your loss NAD.

Jason
 
The absence, yes. Voids are never good for humankind, it makes us confused and angry. I think a lot of it also stems from the whole uncertainty of death as well. There are some that know for certain where people end up after death, but there is no real factual evidence of any answer. Believe in afterlife as strongly as you do, but there is no absolute proof of what happens after this plane of existence.

I picked out Siddhartha to read earlier this evening, and Terry became a Buddhist the last few years of his life. Maybe I'll read the whole thing in tribute tonight. :)

Oh yeah, and thanks ya'll. I'm more concerned about me mum than me though. :erk:
 
JayKeeley said:
And who said, "death is only the beginning"?
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Well I've said that before, but I'm sure I've heard it or read it elsewhere.

I am not afraid of death at all. It is inevitable. The only person that has died I was ever really close to was my childhood friend. He was my best friend all through the early years up until junior high, and we lived two houses down from one another. He died of heart complications about 2 years ago. I was a pole-bearer at his funeral. It still worries me to this day that I did not shed a tear. Have I become emotionless?

All 4 of my grandparents are still alive (although not all in good condition), so suspect I will have some funerals in the near future.

Like I said, I do not fear my death. I do fear for the loved ones I leave behind. Will they be OK finanically? Emotionally? I can't really do anything about the emotional part, but I can make damn sure that they are taken care of financially, so they don't have to worry about money if something should happen to me. Which is why I just got piss and blood tested for a sizeable life insurance policy and I will also be getting mortgage protection insurance.

Why fear the inevitable? You can't dodge your fate.
 
NAD said:
I've lost a few very close people in my life, but the older I get the more I realize that it's just being selfish. When someone is gone, they are gone. The only thing left is your own unfinished business. But it is still extremely hard.
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Well, sometimes it will dramatically change a person's life, affect the basics of their everyday, etc. It's so hard to move on when that's the case. I'm so grateful that I've never experienced anything like that.
 
Sometimes death is the best way out. I have a Great Aunt and a Grandfather who should have died ten years before they actually kicked the bucket. Those last ten years were just pure torment and misery for them. Even they themselves would pray for death to take them and be done with it already.
 
Dreamlord said:
It still worries me to this day that I did not shed a tear. Have I become emotionless?
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People mourn in different ways. I've reacted quite differently to the several close deaths I've experienced (I think about 4 now).
 
Well, that same week he was buried I sat at a table at a my favorite bar with only my fiance and toasted him. I figured I owed him that much.
 
haddsie said:
Well, sometimes it will dramatically change a person's life, affect the basics of their everyday, etc. It's so hard to move on when that's the case. I'm so grateful that I've never experienced anything like that.
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Yes, which is why Dreamlord is concerning about taking out life insurance, etc., and I understand that aspect. I'm more asking about the depression surrounding the act of death itself. Many people are distraught just over the fact that someone has passed on (the stereotypical wailer at a funeral), which while unavoidable, doesn't make the most sense beyond selfish desire.

My Grandfather lived beyond his lifespan, if that makes sense. The last 6 or more years of his life he dealt with severe Altzheimer's, and toward the end he had little to no recognition of anyone. Mom and grammaw took care of him (along with a nursing home), and my mom has made it very clear that if she ever gets to that state, there is no way she wants to stick around.
 
NAD said:
Yes, which is why Dreamlord is concerning about taking out life insurance, etc., and I understand that aspect. I'm more asking about the depression surrounding the act of death itself. Many people are distraught just over the fact that someone has passed on (the stereotypical wailer at a funeral), which while unavoidable, doesn't make the most sense beyond selfish desire.
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Yep, sometimes it is just selfishness. Sometimes people are just cryers. Sometimes it truly rips a person apart to know that someone they care about are having to deal with a death that will alter their lives (like the friend of a young widow who is the wailer at the funeral). Death is sooooo personal that there's no way to figure out how you are supposed to deal with it or how anyone else does.
 
I think I lost someone close to me or that I knew .. pretty much every year of my life.
No wonder I am fucked up :erk:
 
MY great-grandma died a month ago or so, two weeks before she would have turned 104... She's been a widow for nearly 50 years and has wanted to meed Jesus (her words, not mine) and Edvin (her late husband) for at least 20. The funeral was rather OK, my funny uncles joked as always (not during the ceremony, though) when the family gets together and we got tea (I don't like tea) and cookies.
Her death was not in any way sad, though she was a nice old lady until about two years ago when she got strange. She lived alone in her home 'til she was 101.
 
My sympathies. Fortunately I haven't experienced the loss of a loved one or someone personally influential in my life closehand yet, but it is inevitable and I know I will experience some profound grief when it happens. Bereavement is one of the most honest emotions a person can feel. I've been going through some hard times in my family, my maternal grandfather was recently diagnosed with cancer...when I first heard, I went numb as he had always been extremely healthy and active for his age.
 
npearce said:
I've been pretty fortunate, as far as losing loved/admired ones, but I have a feeling I won't handle it well once it happens.

My sympathy to you NAD.
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In the past 2 years, 4 parents of high school friends have passed away. I didn't handle many of them well, and I'm a cold SOB.
 
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