I think that if you can inspire trust in your partner, your chance of making her have an orgasm increase dramatically. I am no talking out of experience, I still own my virginity, although that may change in a few days... But, Just saying, for me the fact that i trust my gf very much made the messing around of the past months very enjoyable and did not seem awkward at all. Thus, maybe a part of one's sexual performance might be related to the interaction between you two outside the bed. Someone with experience should weigh in