What was the best moment of your life so far?

[hyena]

@taliesin: i said there were exceptions and if you're one of them you have all my respect. however, i don't agree with your point on "while love lasts" etc - this is a poetic view to embrace, but what if you have children with a woman, then you realize that love is gone? i don't think you're going to be happy to leave your kids stranded, so probably you will try to be with her the best way you can and maybe try to get over the fact that passion might have escaped you. mind you, i'm not saying that passion has to decrease, i don't buy the view according to which love has to wither and die. however, it's a risk, and i'm getting to the point: i don't know if i am neurotic, which might well be the case (although if i am i don't display it), but i think that relationships are more about commitment and survival than anything, love or attraction are what triggers the interaction and hopefully they stay, but mainly it's about decisions. and i've been told by so many men that men are naturally promiscuous that, well, i now believe it.

 

[Dark_Silence]

Well, I dont have such a GF, which is a pity actually, since it takes away some very interesting fields of conversation.

I used to read quite a lot in primary school. But then in secondary school , i had to read books for the French class. 8 books a year, means a book every month. Most of the books we had to read were boring, and i dont like to read somethink when i am forced to. I prefer to read something that i chose myself. And I didnt have many time to read other books than school books. They were so boring that it always took me the whole month to read them, and i had after school activities. Since then, I never really started to read more again... I became too internet-addicted. Which actually gets on my nerves...

 

[Hiljainen]

hmm, i interpreted hyena's post differently, in general, i agree, even if in a less extreme way.
for example my boyfriend is less disturbed by the thought of relationships ending than me, careful here: i do not mean he doesn't care, nor that he would take well a break up with me, he's not an emotionless fuck, we're oriented towards long term and our thoughts on our relationship are pretty much the same, but we are different on the "general" aspect of relationships: i'm prone to ugly anxious feelings when i get lost in thoughts about time passing and the coming and going of people in life, while he's more relaxed, i don't mean he doesn't worry or suffer, but he accepts more easily the fact.

i do not think that i'm using violence on him, that i'm light hearted, nor that he doesn't care about long term, to sum up, i don't think there are big differences in how we feel about us, but i do see a difference in how we view the relationships' world in general.

i hope i was clear and that i didn't completely misunderstood hyena's post

 

[Dark_Silence]

I agree with this, but I think she meant who mentioned it first (one of typical opinions that women always say and want that first, before the men do).

no one mentionned it. We knew we wanted to have a long term relationship but no one ever said to the other things about that. I mean we have spoken about things in the future or things we would like to do, but i cant remember someone asking for having a long term relationship.
When the relationship started, we knew we had found someome special, someone with some qualities that we were looking for. We knew we didnt want some stupid 1 week relationship or something.

 

[Taliesin]

Well, Im obviously not gonna leave my wife and kids if one day I realize I dont love anymore the way I used to some 20 years ago or something, but then I guess I'll have to learn to love her or do as best I can. I believe that with age, any promiscuous ways of behaviour I may have, will have long faded, so I really dont think it'll be hard to stay with my family then, even if I really wont be in love with her anymore then.

I agree that there are men who define to what extent they are "real men" by how many women they sleep with a year, but then again, there are women enough who encourage such behaviour and I dont believe they are left too heartbroken. I find both types quite easy to spot and if you really feel it's a problem for you or your relationships then you'll have to work on your "Superficial men-Radar".

 

[Taliesin]

i'm prone to ugly anxious feelings when i get lost in thoughts about time passing and the coming and going of people in life, while he's more relaxed, i don't mean he doesn't worry or suffer, but he accepts more easily the fact.

I think that's the case in most relationships. I like to approach things in a practical way. I do what I can to make the relationship work, I have nothing to accuse myself of and I'll deal with the problems we might face, when we face them. I dont see the point in worrying in advance, since mostly, the worries turn out to be unnecessary anyway.
That doesnt mean Im not sometimes scared of being left alone, or spending my elderly years in solitude or whatever, but I can easily push that aside by reminding me that Im doing and have done everything to make the relation work.
I felt the same with my big exams.. what's the point in stressing when you did everything you could?

 

[Hiljainen]

I think that's the case in most relationships. I like to approach things in a practical way. I do what I can to make the relationship work, I have nothing to accuse myself of and I'll deal with the problems we might face, when we face them. I dont see the point in worrying in advance, since mostly, the worries turn out to be unnecessary anyway.
That doesnt mean Im not sometimes scared of being left alone, or spending my elderly years in solitude or whatever, but I can easily push that aside by reminding me that Im doing and have done everything to make the relation work.
I felt the same with my big exams.. what's the point in stressing when you did everything you could?

heh, i know it does no good, but i can't stop feeling like that sometimes, i don't live day by day with those worries though
maybe this is not a man-woman difference, but to me it seems like one, i want to stress again that to me this doesn't make men insensitive and women obsessive, only it's something i noticed and i wrote it to explain how i agreed with some things in hyena's post.

 

[Rincewind]

no one mentionned it. We knew we wanted to have a long term relationship but no one ever said to the other things about that. I mean we have spoken about things in the future or things we would like to do, but i cant remember someone asking for having a long term relationship.
When the relationship started, we knew we had found someome special, someone with some qualities that we were looking for. We knew we didnt want some stupid 1 week relationship or something.

Yes, sorry for not being clear, I meant on what you said, talking about that, not asking it, of course it should (and is) be clear when you find someone special.

 

[fireangel]

i don't know if i am neurotic, which might well be the case (although if i am i don't display it)

I think your theory above shows just that you are completely annoyed that such a smart woman like you, with a grand job, money and good education hasn´t met an equally brilliant guy yet

 

[hyena]

8 books a year, means a book every month.

well, i stand corrected: obviously too much reading, and too little maths.

i'm joking, obviously, please don't get offended. but it was too good of an opportunity to pass.

after reading all your replies, let me rephrase my ideas slightly - of course i went for shock value with the extremization, but i still believe what i said. taliesin, i think that you are wrong in believing that the interest in promiscuous behavior fades with time: how often do you read about people who have affairs and destroy their families because of them even way past their prime? i think it's about values more than hormones, and i also think you're on the right track in saying that you'll try to love your companion the best you can later in life even if the enchantment fades away (and i hope that it won't).

in general, i tend to buy into ivana's line of thinking more than any of the other proposals.

hiljainen's comment also made me believe that probably it also boils down to how one interpret signals. i don't know her boyfriend, and this is by no means a comment on him personally, but if i was faced with someone who "accepts more easily the fact" [that people at some point may part ways] i would be horrified - for me, it's not something that comes from the moon, but rather something that people decide, and a penchant for believing things are transitory cannot normally lead to decisions such as marrying someone.

finally, fireangel's comment...

I think your theory above shows just that you are completely annoyed that such a smart women like you, with a grand job, money and good education hasn´t met an equally brilliant guy yet

ah, i wish that the yet was there in reality. i honestly don't believe it is, and please note that this is not self-pity or some apotropaic mantra. if it didn't happen yet, it's not happening, in all likelihood. after all, there are women who are perfectly alright and they remain single. there are also women who are good-looking, inspiring and successful, and they remain single. i don't know if i can be described as a member of the second category, but there's still the first.

 

[Dark_Silence]

well, i stand corrected: obviously too much reading, and too little maths.

i'm joking, obviously, please don't get offended. but it was too good of an opportunity to pass.

oh yeah
now I suck at maths. It even restricted my choices in what I wanted to study since some thinsg had a math entrance exam. I tried the exercices but i haddnt done any maths for too long i never was very good at it so i couldnt do them. And the test was supposed to be easy (basic things). But I forgot many things I learned in math class...


Edit: actually i had understood this on an other way... sometimes i have a strange way of understanding things
But the number i said was correct:i was talking about a schoolyear.
we start school in september, so there is no book to read. Then one in october, november, december, january, february, march, april, may. June: exams so no books. July and August: vacations so no books either.

 

[Hiljainen]

hiljainen's comment also made me believe that probably it also boils down to how one interpret signals. i don't know her boyfriend, and this is by no means a comment on him personally, but if i was faced with someone who "accepts more easily the fact" [that people at some point may part ways] i would be horrified - for me, it's not something that comes from the moon, but rather something that people decide, and a penchant for believing things are transitory cannot normally lead to decisions such as marrying someone.

this will give me a lot to think about in the next period
anyway, what i mean is being more able to accept that things actually could be transitory, that two people could end up following different paths (especially at my age, i'm 21, i'm still in uni, i don't have the slightest idea of what job i will do or where i'll live in some years), or simply grow too different with age. basically my boyfriend has an attitude more similar to taliesin's post i previously quoted than i do.

 

[Rayna]

True fully... Its like this for me. I believe i have had a good life all around, the places I have been to. The things i have done... It being throughout my whole life.... SO I really can’t say... This was the best thing that has ever happened to me.... I have many highlights but nothing that is like.... this is the best thing ever.

 

[plintus]

This week's highlight:

my doctor told me my surgeries will be less expensive (like 35% less than I expected).

Awesome

 

[hyena]

hey, good luck with these surgeries (one of them penis enlargement, i suppose? )

 

[Rayna]

lol really a penis enlargement? How does it work?

Good Luck with them....

 

[Deathmetal_head]

Okay I have 3
First:
The Birth of my eldest son
Second:
The Birth of my youngest son
Third:
My wedding day

 

[Rayna]

^^^^ All there all sweet

 

[plintus]

lol really a penis enlargement? How does it work?

Well, first you got to have a penis

@hyena: well, if that's not enough for you - my condolences How's that new place - got a ceiling mirror on in the bedroom or anything?

Seriously: dental. Implants. I have quite nice teeth, but some of them need rather radical attention (molars).

 

[plintus]

Okay I have 3
First:
The Birth of my eldest son
Second:
The Birth of my youngest son
Third:
My wedding day

was it actually in that order?