What Would The Best Opeth Forum Battle Be?
- Thread starter MetalManCPA
- Start date
So, um, you think I SHOULD allow my 6 year old child to watch whatever he wants? Tell me, please. What kind of questions are those? No parent has all the answers. They can only do what they can. What the hell am I saying wrong? Would you rather me state: I'll let my 6-year old child watch whatever he wants, it's good for him, he'll learn a lot, hmmm? Screw all the educational programs - he can flip through the channels, watch violence, death, guns, drugs and the like, and I'll turn my back, and say FUCK IT, he needs this so he could see what life is all about. I don't care what he watches, he can do as he pleases. Would this be a good, nurturing parent to you?
What if I forget to teach him something important? I teach him what I can and know. I'm not the fucking perfect parent. You're asking me all these questions because I censor his TV programs. Why? His life is not television. Right now, what's important is for him to learn about the environment, science, math, reading, writing. His television is monitored by his parents, and he watches 'toons, Animal Planet, Discovery Channel, the News (and we talk about current events with the newspaper), TLC, Zabomafoo and the like. In addition, what is appropriate for him to learn are knowing that his body is special and NO one has a right to touch him, what to do in an emergency, and answer his inquisitive questions with caring, understanding, and patience. What, this sounds too soppy for you? This is not REAL? This is what a parent is supposed to be like. I don't know what you have at home, but to me, this is a good parent.
These questions: "And how can you tell if hes "ready" to learn? Can you judge his maturity?" He'll give me the signs. I am not "all knowing." As he matures, he'll ask more questions that are pertinent as he develops. We talk about life, school activities everyday. Yesterday, we were talking about a movie, and in the movie, he saw a little boy die at the hands of another little boy. I told him why it happened, but that it was acting. My son had no idea how to grasp this concept. "Acting?" my son said. "But he died! I saw it with my own eyes!" I tried my best to explain what acting was, even taking on a role myself with my husband, but it didn't sink in. And he thought what happened with the twin towers wasn't real. He thought it was "cool" how the planes crashed into the buildings. I tried to explain that this was REAL, and that a lot of people died, but he didn't understand this.
I'm his mother. Censoring television for a 6 year old to me is appropriate. We spend more time together playing, going to the movies, playing with his Thomas trains, building sheet houses, going out to restaurants, doing play dates and the like, than watching television anyway.
Maturity "matures" with age, no doubt about it. A 5 year old is not mature - a 10 year old is not mature. What is maturity? It's the capacity to have understanding, responsibility, able to make life choices through experience and learning. As we age, we gain more experience with what life throws at us. The younger you are, the less life experiences you've had. That's not negating the fact that there are 14 year olds that have gone through what people in their 30's have gone through. But what should a 14-year old be going through? If you have a poor family environment and have segregated yourself from society, and decide that you're going to pour your entire life on the internet because that's where your "social" life is, how in the world will you be able to deal with real life situations? You need to deal with real life situations to mature. And no amount of big brainy words or thoughtfully typed opinions is going to change that.
I've seen how a lot of people have said, "Sullen Jester is so mature for his age," based on your opinions and writings. But, as a teenager, what do you do in your free-time, off the internet? Do you have a social life outside of the internet? Are you interacting with people, experiencing interpersonal relations in a face-to-face setting? Are you being faced with challenges, and succeeding or failing, and in failure, learning from any mistakes that you have made and applying them? If you are, then you're maturing quite nicely.
If I "forget" to tell my son something, and he comes across it before I tell him, hopefully he will learn from the experience and apply it to his life. I will explain as best I can if he has any questions. Television or Internet is not #1 social-interaction. Real life is, and that's where you mature.
Someone tell me why the fuck we're so set on complaining about the way some person raises their child. This is beyond ridiculous. Seriously, who gives a shit?
Sullen Jester
Corporate Executive
No, I just think it "wrong" to censor ANYTHING, and "wrong" to assume command of someones education.
Yes, I'll answer your "main" post in a minute.
Yes, I'll answer your "main" post in a minute.
Uh oh, I'm going to have to side with the "outcast" Jannet for this one. Television spews way too much mindless and useless garbage for one to not censor a 6-year old's watching of it.
Obyeybyeogone
New Metal Member
This probably seems pretty pathetic, but I grew up on the internet. In elementary school I was an asshole, I made fun of kids who were different than I am, I tried to be "cool", etc. I started spending more time on the internet and talking to people who were a lot more mature than I was, talking to people who are older than I was, which helped me realize how stupid all the stuff I did was. I learned from the internet NOT to steal stuff, I stole $100 through some intricate scam and almost got arrested for trying to steal $2000, I now never even attempt to do anything like this, as I remember the terror I felt when I got e-mailed by the security guy, that was scary as hell 
I used to think that in an argument name-calling was an effective way to get your point across, but after spending so much time talking to people over the internet, I noticed how ineffective it really is at making you seem respectable, and it only makes your point get across worse. ALSO, I learned almost all my actual correct puncuation, grammar, spelling, and typing skills from the internet, not school. I think the internet is the best educational tool, and it will only continue to evolve and become more life-like. The only problem with this is you lose real life social interaction, but from my experience, my real life social interaction has been greatly improved from my time on the internet.
I used to think that in an argument name-calling was an effective way to get your point across, but after spending so much time talking to people over the internet, I noticed how ineffective it really is at making you seem respectable, and it only makes your point get across worse. ALSO, I learned almost all my actual correct puncuation, grammar, spelling, and typing skills from the internet, not school. I think the internet is the best educational tool, and it will only continue to evolve and become more life-like. The only problem with this is you lose real life social interaction, but from my experience, my real life social interaction has been greatly improved from my time on the internet.
I censored my kids movies until they were 16. I let them see some R-movies - but there were certain issues I was very careful about. I was less prone to censoring TV - although I had set a rule at a very young age (which my kids always respected). The rule was there was no watching TV during the week. It was schoolwork - games - anything but TV. Weekends were ok - and most of the stuff that made it to TV was edited enough for me. I just had to watch how my kids reacted when they were younger - if they had nightmares over a TV show, I would try to have them avoid something that would give them another nightmare. Granted - TV is slightly more edgy today then 10 years ago. You have to know your kid - that's how you censor. I've heard some kids were scared of Sesame Street - if it was my kid, they wouldn't watch it.
yeah, like when your talkin to this hot chick on a web cam and you wanna grab her ass cuz you know she wants you to anyway but you can't.Originally posted by Oyo
This probably seems pretty pathetic, but I grew up on the internet. In elementary school I was an asshole, I made fun of kids who were different than I am, I tried to be "cool", etc. I started spending more time on the internet and talking to people who were a lot more mature than I was, talking to people who are older than I was, which helped me realize how stupid all the stuff I did was. I learned from the internet NOT to steal stuff, I stole $100 through some intricate scam and almost got arrested for trying to steal $2000, I now never even attempt to do anything like this, as I remember the terror I felt when I got e-mailed by the security guy, that was scary as hell
I used to think that in an argument name-calling was an effective way to get your point across, but after spending so much time talking to people over the internet, I noticed how ineffective it really is at making you seem respectable, and it only makes your point get across worse. ALSO, I learned almost all my actual correct puncuation, grammar, spelling, and typing skills from the internet, not school. I think the internet is the best educational tool, and it will only continue to evolve and become more life-like. The only problem with this is you lose real life social interaction, but from my experience, my real life social interaction has been greatly improved from my time on the internet.
Sullen Jester
Corporate Executive
I shall answer this first:
I spend most of my time here, in front of the computer(s), because I hate the people that live around here. Whenever I go out, people mock be because the way I talk, the way I walk, the way I look, what I wear, what I eat, what I do, what I like etc. there is seriously, noone with anything in common to me around here. My best friends are nothing like me, and well, their not really my best friends.
What I do when I am not on the computer(s), I am reading, writing, playing guitar, trying to educate myself, and I do everything listening to music. When my friend Paul was still my friend (I do not know what the fuck happened there), we'd sit down somewhere, in the dark, and just talk for hours. Nothing but talk. That is one thing that I can say I enjoy, long, meaningful conversations.. if conversations could be called meaningful.
I do seek to challenge myself - in a variety of subjects and in a variety of ways. Failure, is also a big part of it. Frustration, can manifest in me, but I'd like to think that I overcome it and better myself.
If there is one thing I have learnt for sure, its that you are always learning. Even if a situation is the same as last time, you learn that its constant, and maintainable, above other things. You may notice slight discrepencies through reptitive scenarios; you are always learning.
One thing I cannot learn the value of, however, is the concept of having a "life".
What, so I get out a lot, see people all the time, go to parties, get drunk, and end up with an STD? And get "popular" along the way?
I do not see a fuckin' point in it.
Thus, I am content to sit here with my computer, my music, the internet, with the "world at my fingertips".
Uhh.. what I've been typing is taking too long..
I'll post the rest of my reply in a minute..
Cheers
I spend most of my time here, in front of the computer(s), because I hate the people that live around here. Whenever I go out, people mock be because the way I talk, the way I walk, the way I look, what I wear, what I eat, what I do, what I like etc. there is seriously, noone with anything in common to me around here. My best friends are nothing like me, and well, their not really my best friends.
What I do when I am not on the computer(s), I am reading, writing, playing guitar, trying to educate myself, and I do everything listening to music. When my friend Paul was still my friend (I do not know what the fuck happened there), we'd sit down somewhere, in the dark, and just talk for hours. Nothing but talk. That is one thing that I can say I enjoy, long, meaningful conversations.. if conversations could be called meaningful.
I do seek to challenge myself - in a variety of subjects and in a variety of ways. Failure, is also a big part of it. Frustration, can manifest in me, but I'd like to think that I overcome it and better myself.
If there is one thing I have learnt for sure, its that you are always learning. Even if a situation is the same as last time, you learn that its constant, and maintainable, above other things. You may notice slight discrepencies through reptitive scenarios; you are always learning.
One thing I cannot learn the value of, however, is the concept of having a "life".
What, so I get out a lot, see people all the time, go to parties, get drunk, and end up with an STD? And get "popular" along the way?
I do not see a fuckin' point in it.
Thus, I am content to sit here with my computer, my music, the internet, with the "world at my fingertips".
Uhh.. what I've been typing is taking too long..
I'll post the rest of my reply in a minute..
Cheers
Hehe..my friend had that same situation with her son - any show that was muppety/puppety was banned from her house - he would have the worst nightmares. In my house my son watches Zabomafoo and Arthur in the mornings, and 2-3 times a week we all watch Nick Jr. or a movie in the evenings. Weekends I cut him some slack - he can play a non-educational game and an hour of Dreamcast, but only if he gets his reward stickers from school. This works - it teaches him responsibility. It was a nightmare at first to get him used to the more "structured" time, because I allowed him to play too much at first, and it was affecting everything else. But it's nice now - he gets a reasonable amount of time on games, I get less temper tantrums
Originally posted by Oyo
This probably seems pretty pathetic, but I grew up on the internet. In elementary school I was an asshole, I made fun of kids who were different than I am, I tried to be "cool", etc. I started spending more time on the internet and talking to people who were a lot more mature than I was, talking to people who are older than I was, which helped me realize how stupid all the stuff I did was. I learned from the internet NOT to steal stuff, I stole $100 through some intricate scam and almost got arrested for trying to steal $2000, I now never even attempt to do anything like this, as I remember the terror I felt when I got e-mailed by the security guy, that was scary as hell
I used to think that in an argument name-calling was an effective way to get your point across, but after spending so much time talking to people over the internet, I noticed how ineffective it really is at making you seem respectable, and it only makes your point get across worse. ALSO, I learned almost all my actual correct puncuation, grammar, spelling, and typing skills from the internet, not school. I think the internet is the best educational tool, and it will only continue to evolve and become more life-like. The only problem with this is you lose real life social interaction, but from my experience, my real life social interaction has been greatly improved from my time on the internet.
Wow, that's pretty amazing. But it seems like you still had some kind of social life, since the internet improved your social interaction. Some people have NO social life but the Internet.
*and I get yer drift with the name-calling bit. Even if it's hard to believe, I was worse at flaming/name-calling/fighting when I first got on the net. I have GREATLY improved my internet relations since then (even if this is hard to swallow for you guys
)
Obyeybyeogone
New Metal Member
I liked Arthur.
I think giving young kids a timelimit on games is probably a good idea. I don't really know. When I was like four and younger, I loved the NES, it was just the coolest thing in my opinion. If anyone had one I just had to play it. I finally got one when I was like five, and I played Mario all the time, I don't remember having a time limit, but I played a lot of NES. I don't know though, I think if they don't have a time limit they'll just get bored of it and go do something outside anyways, I always did after the initial excitment of getting an NES. When I was about your son's age, I liked the educational stuff (At the time it was like "Lunchbox", something and something), I also liked all the "hero" cartoons, at the time it was Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters, you know the whole bit. I think thost cartoons lack the style they had back in my day (Wow, I never thought i'd be saying that ) Does your son like Pokemon, the new batman or whatever it's called, or any of the current day "Ninja Turtles"?
I think giving young kids a timelimit on games is probably a good idea. I don't really know. When I was like four and younger, I loved the NES, it was just the coolest thing in my opinion. If anyone had one I just had to play it. I finally got one when I was like five, and I played Mario all the time, I don't remember having a time limit, but I played a lot of NES. I don't know though, I think if they don't have a time limit they'll just get bored of it and go do something outside anyways, I always did after the initial excitment of getting an NES. When I was about your son's age, I liked the educational stuff (At the time it was like "Lunchbox", something and something), I also liked all the "hero" cartoons, at the time it was Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters, you know the whole bit. I think thost cartoons lack the style they had back in my day (Wow, I never thought i'd be saying that
) Does your son like Pokemon, the new batman or whatever it's called, or any of the current day "Ninja Turtles"?
Sullen Jester
Corporate Executive
I don't think I was clear when I said what I said. It's not just TV - it's everything you let your child learn. One thing I think that any child should be taught, and have it taught again, till it's obviously retained in knowledge, is that the said child should learn how to make choices, how to think.
"Where will this get me? If I just dive into this, will there be an option of turning back?"
Just teaching "Right... thats wrong.. thats definately wrong.. oh.. this ones right.. or maybe.. nope, wrong", the child you are teaching (who will look up to you as a parent, so your actions will make more of an influence than anyone elses) will not take it into consideration, but take it as you are saying it. It's much an extreme case, but should a child have his/her whole life like it, they'll have your words for rules and nothing else. They will not think for themselves.
Looking at people I know today, it's not so much the parents making choices for them, its the trends. These parents that I know, while many of them are very intelligent, have not really given them the reasoning and understanding of having their own thoughts, their own solutions to problems. Having ad's on TV saying "The choice is yours" is enough for some parents to think "It's okay".
Back to the main part, I believe that everyone should be learning about these subjects, what can happen, where they lead to etcetera, and they can make thier own choices. It's freedom - unfortunately, some people abuse it. Life is a privelidge, yet people waste it in violence and wars.
You are right, but there is no way of determining maturity. Everyone I've come across, only thinks of age, and how age is what matters, it determines what you're ready for.
Bullshit.
As I have been saying, I believe that knowledge, wisdom, the ability to think clearly, the ability to think about and make choices, is what matters, not age.
I must disagree - 'real life' is not the only source of developing maturity.
I can learn more 'knowledge' in my room, on the computer, reading books etc. etc.
I can learn more on the 'practical' side by going outside, doing things.
See what I mean?
Cheers.
"Where will this get me? If I just dive into this, will there be an option of turning back?"
Just teaching "Right... thats wrong.. thats definately wrong.. oh.. this ones right.. or maybe.. nope, wrong", the child you are teaching (who will look up to you as a parent, so your actions will make more of an influence than anyone elses) will not take it into consideration, but take it as you are saying it. It's much an extreme case, but should a child have his/her whole life like it, they'll have your words for rules and nothing else. They will not think for themselves.
Looking at people I know today, it's not so much the parents making choices for them, its the trends. These parents that I know, while many of them are very intelligent, have not really given them the reasoning and understanding of having their own thoughts, their own solutions to problems. Having ad's on TV saying "The choice is yours" is enough for some parents to think "It's okay".
Back to the main part, I believe that everyone should be learning about these subjects, what can happen, where they lead to etcetera, and they can make thier own choices. It's freedom - unfortunately, some people abuse it. Life is a privelidge, yet people waste it in violence and wars.
You are right, but there is no way of determining maturity. Everyone I've come across, only thinks of age, and how age is what matters, it determines what you're ready for.
Bullshit.
As I have been saying, I believe that knowledge, wisdom, the ability to think clearly, the ability to think about and make choices, is what matters, not age.
I must disagree - 'real life' is not the only source of developing maturity.
I can learn more 'knowledge' in my room, on the computer, reading books etc. etc.
I can learn more on the 'practical' side by going outside, doing things.
See what I mean?
Cheers.
Obyeybyeogone
New Metal Member
Yes, I HAD a social life
My social life now consists of going to a friend's house to play computer games or PS2. With the very occasional paintball game or something, I love playing paintball, and it's a very active sport, but it is so goddamn expensive that it's almost not worth playing. And organizes a game with your friends is harder than terrorist negotiations. I guess you could also consider school a social life, I enjoy it, and I have a lot of friends in school that I never see/talk to outside of school. I guess my point is, if it weren't for spending so much time on the internet, i'd probably be the jackass wannabe-football player kid throwing pens at the kid who likes anime, or maybe the former-nerd who thought he'd be cooler if he went "punk" by spiking his hair and wearing a Misfits shirt. I found all the music I like through the internet, I found how to not be an asshole, and how to interact with other people. It seems you'd learn how to interact with people in real life, but honestly, in real life you are too restricted by how "cool" you are, or how "dumb" you look, and stupid little things like that, and in real life you never have long, indepth conversations with other people. Only on the internet can you talk to someone about parenting for paragraphs upon paragraphs, sure you could talk a long time with a close friend, but I have about one friend I can talk to about stuff like this. If you talk to people so much on the internet, it REALLY carries over to real life, whenever someone is acting like an asshole to me, instead of flagging him off or insulting him back, I just shrug it off, or if necesarry just talk ot him honestly, which normally makes him look like an idiot.
My social life now consists of going to a friend's house to play computer games or PS2. With the very occasional paintball game or something, I love playing paintball, and it's a very active sport, but it is so goddamn expensive that it's almost not worth playing. And organizes a game with your friends is harder than terrorist negotiations. I guess you could also consider school a social life, I enjoy it, and I have a lot of friends in school that I never see/talk to outside of school. I guess my point is, if it weren't for spending so much time on the internet, i'd probably be the jackass wannabe-football player kid throwing pens at the kid who likes anime, or maybe the former-nerd who thought he'd be cooler if he went "punk" by spiking his hair and wearing a Misfits shirt. I found all the music I like through the internet, I found how to not be an asshole, and how to interact with other people. It seems you'd learn how to interact with people in real life, but honestly, in real life you are too restricted by how "cool" you are, or how "dumb" you look, and stupid little things like that, and in real life you never have long, indepth conversations with other people. Only on the internet can you talk to someone about parenting for paragraphs upon paragraphs, sure you could talk a long time with a close friend, but I have about one friend I can talk to about stuff like this. If you talk to people so much on the internet, it REALLY carries over to real life, whenever someone is acting like an asshole to me, instead of flagging him off or insulting him back, I just shrug it off, or if necesarry just talk ot him honestly, which normally makes him look like an idiot.
Sullen Jester
Corporate Executive
This was me, for sure.
Parts of that me still live under this shell that I appear.
Me again.
I agree with the internet part.
I don't know, I guess having a "life" can mean more than one thing. It can mean that you are active (and it looks like you are), focusing on what you love to do, learning (and you're doing that), and that's cool. If it's what you love to do, then do it! The other "life" is a social life - social, meaning interacting with people in real life situations. It's a scary thought to me that there are 1000's of people sitting in front of their computers, and have more meaningful relationships with the screen than with real life, flesh and blood human beings, people they can hug, talk to face to face, have arguments with, go out to the movies with, etc. I value this a great deal. Now if there are problems in the home and no one to turn to, I assume that the Internet would be the next best place to go for social interaction. It beats staying in your room in the dark, sad and alone. But then the problem is this - when you have a problem online, you can walk away from the screen, you can put people on ignore. You can't do that in real life. If you have a problem with someone close to you, it will follow you until it gets resolved or drives you nuts!
Similar threads
