Who Said Romance was Dead!!!!

[princess_of_the_night2112]

This brought a wee smile to my face when I read this - it definitely brightened up my day!

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE BUT..........THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was p*ssed.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you f#@*d up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime
_________________

 

[Impenitent]

brilliant!

-Imp

 

[Sammi951]

 

[valanx]

LOL

 

[WILKS]

:Spin:

 

[Paxoman]

Your eyes shine like the sun.
Wheres me f*****g gun?

 

[MatRattz]

After a hard week and the relief of my football team finally getting off the bottom of the football league and copious amounts of beer .... (Torquay United by the way) I would like to dedicate these few words to the women of Plymuff, Exiter and Yeovile.

Your face, its like Picasso's art,
Piss off, you ugly square-faced inbred tart.


.... I would like to remind the women on here, that the above comment is only aimed at a particular region of the UK, (footballing rivalry and all that) and a sticking pins into a voodoo doll won't work if you don't know what the person looks like!

 

[Sammi951]

I take it you're not fond of the ladies in that neck of the woods then?

 

[Fingers]

Its a good job Black Lagoon doesn't visit this site anymore ! (A good old Janner he is!) :Spin:

Matrattz well done Torquay, how many players did Lincoln finish with ?

P.S. What category does Helen Chamberlain fit?

 

[lizzie]

thats great!

 

[WILKS]

your beuty im the beast

on your **** i want to feast

 

[Paxoman]

You are one in a million, a real treasure.
I'm gonna kill the bastard who dug you up!

 

[Twisted Tony]

Those are awesome!