This feels appropriate. I took this off of the east coast hardcore message board .. Let the truth be known.
This is quite possibly the biggest pile of horseshit I've ever seen, and with that in mind, I am going to speak on behalf of us card carrying penis possesors and clear up a few things you females might not be getting through your heads, as I am viewing from this that i found :
50 things girls wish guys knew
most of these are stupid but some are true ^_^
1. Don't tell us when you think other girls are hot.
But you can sit there and tell us every actor/musician/whoever else is hot right in front of us and have you slore girlfriends agree, just for a little added insult? FUCK YOU
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Bitch, it's my fucking tv. FUCK YOU
3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.
You want me to act like a soap opera guy? You mean get drunk and spread infidelity and lies and drama everywhere I go?? Shit I already do that! FUCK YOU
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
Mark your menstrual cycle on a calender so I have fair warning! FUCK YOU
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
Try having YOUR arm laid on for hours and we'll have this convo. FUCK YOU
6. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.
YES IT FUCKING DOES!!!!!! YOU THINK YOUR SHIT'S PRETTY AND ALWAYS ATTRACTIVE?!?! If you don't do it and make it clear before, fine. But if I were to just find this out before it was too late, I WILL be pouring itching powder on your snatch you greedy bitch. FUCK YOU
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
This is how WE see it : Don't call = Was busy and if YOU care, YOU should understand there are some things you have to do when you have time to do them. FUCK YOU
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.
But we're supposed to be "honest" with you and tell you how we feel. FUCK YOU
9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
Typical female statment. Give the inch, they take the mile. FUCK YOU
10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.
And having restrictions in the bedroom doesn't turn us on either. FUCK YOU
11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).
Typical hypocritical female. See question 6. And some of you might wanna take shaving classes cuz damn. FUCK YOU
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
WHICH MEANS SHARE SOME OF THE FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY! FUCK YOU
13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.
No, you're allowed to have periods. We're not. You are not superior, I may be just as late. FUCK YOU
14. Eye contact is key.
Especially when you're lying to me right honey? FUCK YOU
15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.
Now that you said that, I will make no attempt to get ready and come out looking like a slob. Have fun being seen with me. FUCK YOU
16. Laugh at our jokes.
Why? So I can be lying to your face when they're not funny? FUCK YOU
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
Three more words ladies....I was drunk. FUCK YOU
18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.
And this is the answer to the question " Why aren't guys whores when they do that?" BECAUSE FUCK YOU that's why.
19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
Haha that's right....honesty honesty honesty. And you never have to hold out on yours to try to make us happy. FUCK YOU
20. Do not start with us. You will not win.
Oh no? Can YOU knock ME out? FUCK YOU
21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.
I don't have a sister but if I did, I'm sure she'd be just like me. FUCK YOU
22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! FUCK YOU
23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes!
And we will never watch enough porn or drink enough beer. FUCK YOU
24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month.
And we have an excuse to act bitchy when you act bitchy. It's called PRIDE and we have it all month long. FUCK YOU
25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car.
Be a gentleman. Sure I can understand that, but damn if I forget don't bite my head off. FUCK YOU
26. We love surprises!
So do we. My favorite is " I just wanna be friends " FUCK YOU
27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.
Speak for yourself. FUCK YOU
28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
Pay attention to the BIG things we do, cuz they mean the most to us. FUCK YOU
29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometiems . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!
Yes grandma. Now can you 86 the 1950's super panties? FUCK YOU
30. Clean your room before we come over.
Clean your vag before WE come over. FUCK YOU
31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.
Like most girls, this goes both ways. FUCK YOU
32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.
When I use my fist it means don't use your teeth or you'll lose em. FUCK YOU
33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
And will remind us that, every time we do the littlest thing wrong. Buy me a huge wooden cross, it's less of a hassle. FUCK YOU
34. Hit it and quit it, because later I'll be with you're best friend and he lasts for hours.
And you wonder why we act the way we do. Maybe I'd have finished faster if I wasn't fucking your best friend earlier. FUCK YOU
35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight.
Don't act like a bitch around your friends or I will treat you like a bitch tonight and that'll be satisfying enough for me. FUCK YOU
36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"
And other times it means " I feel like being difficult and driving you out of your fucking skull." FUCK YOU
37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
Neither are those 3 dollar Chinese colored slippers with a normal outfit. Are you serious??? FUCK YOU
38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend.
No, if you didn't have low self esteem, you'd be a pornstar and not my gf. FUCK YOU
39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.
Neither is crying cuz you want us to ask what's wrong. Dork. FUCK YOU
40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.
Yes, especially since you like to keep good relations with your ex's so you have a dick to trip and fall on when we break up. Whore. FUCK YOU
41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
You didn't remember what I said 5 minutes ago and you're talking shit? FUCK YOU
42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
Girls who are good cuddlers = Know how to make a guy feel awkward when he needs to get up to urinate. FUCK YOU
43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too.
So do fat dudes. Difference is if a fat chick threw her vag out, SOMEONE would fuck her. Not the same can be said for us. FUCK YOU
44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!
Orrrrrrrrrrrr...... I want you to ASK me what's wrong cuz I'm an attention craving fungus. FUCK YOU
45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.
If we're not good dancers, STOP ASKING US TO DANCE WHEN WE TELL YOU WE CAN'T! FUCK YOU
46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.
Just because a guy doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean ANYTHING. FUCK YOU
47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.
You don't have to see the price tag, to see the meaning. FUCK YOU
48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.
Don't say I'm an asshole if I don't say I love you then. FUCK YOU
49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you.
Don't be so confident, it's a fucking turnoff. And don't lie to us, we have a tendency to go just a tad psycho, but you knew that, and that's why you do it, to make us look like the psycho asshole. FUCK YOU
50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you.
And we do it just as much, except, 8 or 9 of my friends know everything about you, because that's how much you mean, I feel proud enough to brag so shut up you mouthy sack. FUCK YOU
I feel liberated. Elvis has left the building.
