humor at own expense, for Croatians living abroad. though, 98 % of these things go also for Croatians living in their homeland. 
so, YOU KNOW YOU'RE CROATIAN WHEN:
All meals your parents have ever prepared contain one key ingredient:
"Vegeta"
You were still in elementary school the first time you got drunk.
You are never ever allowed to sit by an open window for fear of catching
pneumonia from the "propuh" (even in the middle of summer) .
There is a bar in your church hall that contains a 2 year supply of Brandy.
You insist that you can spot a Serb from a mile away.
The use of vulgar language at home is unacceptable, unless it is Croatian
English words are acceptable if used with the ending "A-T-I" which makes
them Croatian..."play-ati", "study-ati"
Your grandpa mowes the lawn in knee high black socks and sandals.
Your grandpa has a shot of Rakija for breakfast.
At least one family member makes his own wine.
"Sljivovica" is used not only to celebrate at all occasions, but to cure
illness and as a massage lotion as well.
At the age of 13, you are allowed to go out of town with your friends for
Croatian soccer tournaments, folklore festivals and dances.
Mama beat you in public on at least one occasion.
Your parents insist that you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate from
"fakultet".
Lunch on sundays have more courses than Amerikanci have for Christmas or
Thanksgiving dinner.
You know that in addition to fruit flavoured Jello, gelatin can also be
prepared with pigs feet.
You love "pasteta" (paté), but don't like bringing it to school or work for lunch
because you'd be embarassed if someone asked you what it was.
There is a slab of fat in your fridge called SLANINA.
Your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand.
All other action stops when you hear people speaking Serbian in a store
somewhere and your mom starts to talk to you in English so that the serbian
people won't find out you speak "their" language and start trying to be your
friend.
You have at least one short-wave radio in your house
You smell garlic on the old man's breath behind you sitting on the bench in
church on Sunday mornings.
You live with your parents until you are married.
Mama thinks that whenever you get sick it's because you didn't eat enough.
Grandma and grandpa wear at least 3 layers of clothing in all seasons.
Grandma and/or Grandpa spits into a napkin at the dinner table.
Your parents change the channel when there is a kissing scene.
Grandpa and grandma insist you are quiet while he watches the news even though he
doesn't understand a single word they're saying. Regardless of the fact he
doesn't understand what they're saying, he knows more about what's going on
in the world than you do.
You never got the "Birds and the Bees" talk from Mama and Tata as you were
growing up.
Whenever your parents said "vidit cemo" ("we'll see") you knew that it meant "NO!"
Your cousin in Croatia who calls you to send him money had a cell phone
before you and wears only name brand clothing.
You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland.
You are only allowed to speak Croatian at home.
You have 17 consonants in your name and only 2 vowels.
Your 13 yr old sister can out drink any American.
Your parents still prefer buying cassete's over cd's.
No one can pronounce your last name and every kid on the block has a
nickname for it.
A CROATIAN wedding consists of a minimum of 1000 people, 2/3 of which you
dont even know.
......You're still laughing your ass off cause u know every single one of
them are true.
so, YOU KNOW YOU'RE CROATIAN WHEN:
All meals your parents have ever prepared contain one key ingredient:
"Vegeta"
You were still in elementary school the first time you got drunk.
You are never ever allowed to sit by an open window for fear of catching
pneumonia from the "propuh" (even in the middle of summer) .
There is a bar in your church hall that contains a 2 year supply of Brandy.
You insist that you can spot a Serb from a mile away.
The use of vulgar language at home is unacceptable, unless it is Croatian
English words are acceptable if used with the ending "A-T-I" which makes
them Croatian..."play-ati", "study-ati"
Your grandpa mowes the lawn in knee high black socks and sandals.
Your grandpa has a shot of Rakija for breakfast.
At least one family member makes his own wine.
"Sljivovica" is used not only to celebrate at all occasions, but to cure
illness and as a massage lotion as well.
At the age of 13, you are allowed to go out of town with your friends for
Croatian soccer tournaments, folklore festivals and dances.
Mama beat you in public on at least one occasion.
Your parents insist that you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate from
"fakultet".
Lunch on sundays have more courses than Amerikanci have for Christmas or
Thanksgiving dinner.
You know that in addition to fruit flavoured Jello, gelatin can also be
prepared with pigs feet.
You love "pasteta" (paté), but don't like bringing it to school or work for lunch
because you'd be embarassed if someone asked you what it was.
There is a slab of fat in your fridge called SLANINA.
Your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand.
All other action stops when you hear people speaking Serbian in a store
somewhere and your mom starts to talk to you in English so that the serbian
people won't find out you speak "their" language and start trying to be your
friend.
You have at least one short-wave radio in your house
You smell garlic on the old man's breath behind you sitting on the bench in
church on Sunday mornings.
You live with your parents until you are married.
Mama thinks that whenever you get sick it's because you didn't eat enough.
Grandma and grandpa wear at least 3 layers of clothing in all seasons.
Grandma and/or Grandpa spits into a napkin at the dinner table.
Your parents change the channel when there is a kissing scene.
Grandpa and grandma insist you are quiet while he watches the news even though he
doesn't understand a single word they're saying. Regardless of the fact he
doesn't understand what they're saying, he knows more about what's going on
in the world than you do.
You never got the "Birds and the Bees" talk from Mama and Tata as you were
growing up.
Whenever your parents said "vidit cemo" ("we'll see") you knew that it meant "NO!"
Your cousin in Croatia who calls you to send him money had a cell phone
before you and wears only name brand clothing.
You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland.
You are only allowed to speak Croatian at home.
You have 17 consonants in your name and only 2 vowels.
Your 13 yr old sister can out drink any American.
Your parents still prefer buying cassete's over cd's.
No one can pronounce your last name and every kid on the block has a
nickname for it.
A CROATIAN wedding consists of a minimum of 1000 people, 2/3 of which you
dont even know.
......You're still laughing your ass off cause u know every single one of
them are true.
