A closer look into life's painful side

[falling bird]

Hi folks!
There is a thing that has been on my mind for a long time.
I think that many people today only deal with the "good" things and feelings they have. They are never busy thinking about feelings like melancholy or depression,because many of them say:"why should i?"or:"are you kind of masochistic?!" So many drink away their paín and grief. I DON'T WANT TO JUDGE THESE PEOPLE! It's just that i think we could try to offer a bit more of our (spiritually) power and interest trying to deal with these feelings and trying to understand these feelings if you all know what i mean - This band helped me a lot with that- I think feelings are one of the most interesting and wonderously things in the world,so important. I believe that if we go through things that hurt and really try to cope with them that we can be very strong through that. Of course i know that everyone "feels" everything different and so it's very hard for me trying to explain what i mean without offending anyone but that's a very important thing i wanted to talk about, what do you think?

 

[Melancholia]

brilliant thread passing bird!

Feelings are very important for me,too
daaaamn,how should i start this?
hmm why do people neglect the negative feelings,i haven't realised yet.....but maybe because they negative feelings are too painful to deal?
for sure they are,but as falling bird mentioned bad experiences and dark feeling makes us strong....imho opinion this is due to the fact that negative feelings force one to think more,to analyze situations,to have a deeper contact with what we call "the self".
Positive feelings on the contrary fill you with a feeling of satisfaction or sth,you feel nice and cool,you enjoy being like this,but you aren't actually forced to think why you are feeling like this or how you can change/get rid of these feelings...
at least this is the way it works for me....
I know feeling sad/depressed suck....and i hate the fact that i am through a bad/confused period right now and many things i considered stable seem to change.... but on the other hand i try to be active and improve this state and do much thinking (even overanalyze things sometimes and it's painful)

Charlie@Welcome to this board...I'm sorry this is happening to you...try to endure and be strong!
(i know it's easy to say )

Passing bird@i've seen in your profile that you are occupied with social services in a hospital.has this influenced your way of thinking about negative feelings??

 

[without]

Pain helps you to be more stronger!
it's a general truth ...
try to see negative aspects of life helps you to see the world in a different window wich is very important ,cause it makes you "different & mature".
When ý look into other people eyes (who only wants to think about good thing) ý feel some kind of pity for them, cause they will never see the life as we see..
If you live with pain ,good things makes you more happier ...You feel everything more deeply .
You can not understand the happiness unless you know what is pain.


some people tell me that ý'm sick (cause ý love the pain), it's not a sickness, it's a choice...

 

[groteZk]

Pain is important, so is every other aspect of life. I kind of like the depressive state of mind, and also I dislike it. Like Melancholia said, it gets you thinking about things, maybe changing your way of acting or changing your values. For me it is important to have the contact with the negative and the positive side of myself. It makes me stronger or more reflected. Having said that doesn't mean that I always can deal with my problems...
Pain is a very "pure" feeling, I think.
It's nice to think a lot when being down. I like to think. Do I like to feel down? Well, maybe, maybe not....

 

[without]

ý should say :
ý'm not living into a deep depression...
ý'm not a suicidal or %100 negative person.
I can even say that ý'm a funny girl..
but being funny doesn't mean ý'm not living with pain...
my post was about to "way to see the things and analyse the life"


(it can look like paradoxal.... ý think ý couldn't exprime myself enough cause english is not my native language...)

 

[xX~PLAGUE~Xx]

I quite often think about stuff that gets me down. In a way I enjoy it. It helps me write poems, and realise my true feelings for people.

 

[Wanderer]

Life is pain.We can not live without it.We learn with suffering.We fight for it.It is the meaning of life i think.

 

[ether]

feeling and thinking means suffering, and even the rare moments of joy are accompanied with pain, because when we stop to think that nothing lasts forever, we realize how fragile we are, how things can suddenly change and disappear...
Life must be complete and pain is a part of it.
I personally got through many difficult and sorrowful situations in my life, when I was thinking about commiting suicide and so on, but then I've grown up and have become colder and stronger and I realized how stupid I had been to think that life wasn't worth living...Life is so full of many splendid things, like music for example...I try to be less negative in my thinking and it helps a lot.We should have just the nerve to face pain, because once we know what it means, we can' t be afraid of it anymore...What our mind can create is sometimes stronger and more sorrowful than reality itself..

 

[my dying groom]

I think that many people today only deal with the "good" things and feelings they have.

I believe that if we go through things that hurt and really try to cope with them that we can be very strong through that.

I heartily agree with both statements.
Most people impose certain "mental" restrictions on themselves. Conversations about the phenomenon "emotion" or negative thoughts in general are avoided or even tabooed, while superficial things and mediocrity are embraced (-> "reality TV"). Foolish but common.

The same aversion goes for the other extreme. Take those weepy threads that are common in Anathema's board for example. "I'm so depressed" - "Life is full of shit" - "My girlfriend raped my hamster"... gimme a break.
Either I don't agree or I don't care, that's why I often choose not to participate in such threads. And you know what? No one will miss me

I can't be bothered to search for any causes (for both previously mentioned attitudes), that's futile anyway. Fortunately I can share melancholic moments with some non-shallow friends - if I wish to do so. In fact, I don't feel the urge to share really "private" stuff via internet, and I think it wouldn't even change my mind if all my friends vanished.

Just my two eurocents.

 

[my dying groom]

Life is so full of many splendid things, like music for example...I try to be less negative in my thinking and it helps a lot.

Yes. You have my sympathies. Not that you'd care, but...

 

[LoboUivante]

question: DO you want to be cured? Do you want to live happily ever after? Do you want to be like the other weirdos for whom everything is ok, all is beautifull and sweet?

Oddly all we passed through made us stronger, we are stronger than shiny happy people… can you imagine people who would have nightmares, constants death urges, sudden heart grips, the feeling of not really belonging here and still have the strength to put I all in a bag and move on? For whom everyday is a struggle: you guys rule!! YOU TRULY RULE!!!

...some people were born to be the tears of the world.

 

[without]

%100 agree!!!

 

[Wanderer]

The sun with it's blue sky outside shining down on all you happy people. I'm wasting my day waiting for rain.Need more methods to end each day to be happy by living this way.

 

[falling bird]

It's good to see that you understand what i mean and i am surprised that many of you have the same opinion as me,you see especially here in Berlin where many people are often mentally cold it is not easy finding someone with whom you can talk about things like that, like i already said, many just show you away or don't show any interest at all when it comes to such things.
you know what i think i will do? i think i'll start a campaign with the name "power through pain",hehe.
Wanderer,quiet world is such a beautiful song and the lyrics are just great,just love this part when the distorted guitar comes in, i still have to get the sounds of decay!

 

[discouraged1]

Originally posted by LoboUivante
Do you want to be like the other weirdos for whom everything is ok, all is beautifull and sweet?

I think there aren't 'all-time happy&shiny' people, everyone has its own kind of sadness, it depends on personality... is some1 sad because someone said 'fuck off' to him/her or just because it rains the whole day....
I think 'shiny' people got used to.......well, ignore that kind of emotions, or just not showing them, they look everything on the bright side.........



...some people were born to be the tears of the world.

Agreed!

Pessimism can be a great thing for life, for all the hours of falling we all cherish...........

 

[discouraged1]

I think there aren't 'all-time happy&shiny' people, everyone has its own kind of sadness, it depends on personality... is some1 sad because someone said 'fuck off' to him/her or just because it rains the whole day....
I think 'shiny' people got used to.......well, ignore that kind of emotions, or just not showing them, they look everything on the bright side.........


I'm sorry, this is my line...........

This is my first time using the 'quote' thing, so it happened like LoboUivante said this.
Sorry

 

[the_joy_of_grief]

Back in the old days, I used to listen to pop/dance music, watch talkshows and hang out with a bunch of idiots. Now I listen to Katatonia, read good books and hang out with a very small number of decent people. Being sad and melancholic does have some good side effects.

 

[LoboUivante]

it was awesome if we could hang around all day with people like us.

 

[Wanderingblade]

Originally posted by my dying groom


"My girlfriend raped my hamster"

Thats not tragic... thats just funny

Ahem.
Moving on from my dubious sense of humour, I can only agree with you guys. Life can be a right sob sometimes, and to deny this is to deny yourself...

 

[Velya]

question: DO you want to be cured? Do you want to live happily ever after? Do you want to be like the other weirdos for whom everything is ok, all is beautifull and sweet?

How can u be cured, when the cure would lead to living in a lie denying the reality of life, hiding the pain deep inside, how can anyone have piece of mind living a happy hypocrite life is something i will never fully understand.