A google-search guide of Finland for Heiress

Mr Toast

Threadslayer
Aug 1, 2002
891
0
16
www.mrtoast.com
As Mel embarks to new and colder lands, I thought it might be a good idea to post a quickie guide to Finland...

First off, the Finnish Flag:
finland.gif

This should not be confused with these other flags...
Sweden:
sweden.gif

Denmark:
denmark.gif


And if this flag is flying when the plane lands, then you should complain immediately... and track down Lord Tim's band!
aussie.gif


Click Here to hear the Finnish National Anthem (realaudio format). You may wish to talk to Sinergy about a Heavy Metal version of this...

vakuutus.jpg

President Tarja Halonen is the guy in charge, so if you get into any trouble you should call him!

maiden4_tn.jpg

The Maiden Of Finland is a national symbol. As you are a Maiden yourself, you probably have the credentials to take over her job...

The Sacred Swan is a Finnish Nature Symbol. The site says something about the whooper swan, Cygnus cygnus. It is rumored that if you play Cygnus X1 (Rush:2112) while in the presence of this swan that he will be appreciative and grant you favors.

The Sauna is a national symbol. Coming from a warm climate, you should very much appreciate this, and should put the addresses of all nearby saunas in your day planner so that you can keep warm!

The Kantele is the national musical instrument. Here's a description:
The kantele is the oldest Finnish folk instrument, and is classed as a cordophone, that is, an instrument whose sound arises from a string stretched between two fixed points. The other Finnic tribes of the Baltic used similar instruments, as did a few Finno-Ugrian peoples, in addition to the Balts and the Russians.
This looks somewhat like the instrument Mr Spock plays in one of the old Star Trek episodes. So if you learn how to play this, if the Sinergy thing doesn't work out you can alway audition for Spocks Beard!

You should always keep on your guard though, as Finland is home to certain unruly elements. Specifically..

Vikings!
Viking_Warband.jpg


These guys are known for pillaging, raping, and generally causing trouble. If you should run afoul of these dastardly villains, may I suggest...

1) Running
2) Posing as a Valkyrie, wowing them with your musical prowess, and sending them off on a quest for The Horn Resounding

Also, if they start telling you about the size of their Longship, make sure they are talking about one of these...
703vship.jpg


Hope this helps!
:D
 
I really hope that Vikings part is a joke :D Norway and Sweden had vikings, we don't :)

Dictionary about most used words:

Hei = Hello
Kuinka voit? = How are you?
Kiitos = thank you

And how these words sound:
http://www.mikropuhe.com/demo.asp?f=1245270731150
After writing, click "kuuntele puhe"

English-Finnish-English online dictionary:
http://efe.scape.net/index.php

Another useful website: ;)
http://www.insults.net/html/swear/finnish.html
(there's an error: "haista vittu" is in english "fuck you" :) )

Have fun with our extremely hard language. :p I read from somewhere that it's ranked at second place on "world's hardest language" chart. Number one was African tribe language... I'm not sure, but it isn't easy for non-Finn.

Welcome to the Land of Thousand Lakes...
 
HAHHAHAHHAHAHA!!! Wow, thanks for the survival guide! I'll need it!

Dethroned, thanks for online language guides. To be honest, I've never even heard what finnish sounds like, never heard people speaking it at all. I'm definitely excited about the challenge of learning the tongue (I love language), and there are three Finnyboys in the band from whom to learn.

FYI, I've delayed my flight until 9/18, so I should actually be landing in Helsinki on 9/19. That means I'll finally get to see my very first Maidens show at Kozmos on 9/14! :D
 
Originally posted by Dethroned
I really hope that Vikings part is a joke :D Norway and Sweden had vikings, we don't :)

From my fuzzy recollection of history, the Norsemen had villages and such all around the north sea there, both on the Swedish/Norway peninsula as well as Denmark (and parts of Finland too). As I said, it was a fuzzy recollection, so if I gave undue credit, I humbly apologize...

And the Norsemen weren't all bad guys either, but they are fun to pick on. Being half Dane myself, I have a passing interest in the history of the region.

Oh, and apologies for thinking your president was a man... it won't be the first time I've made that mistake (Keyser and Smylex can both attest to this!)

Everyone knows I'm doing this all in good fun right???

This message brought to you by the Mr Toast Ministry of Disinformation