A hilarious review of the Jester Race....

[0hr]Sunlapse

Wraith
Oct 1, 2002
7,009
348
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Rumson, NJ
www.getyourasstomars.com
Found on Amazon.com.....

1/5 stars (minimum)
"Is this really the same band who did LUNAR STRAIN???????, February 12, 2001
[font=verdana,arial,helvetica][size=-1]Reviewer: Donald Schieck (see more about me) from Campbell, California United States [/size][/font]I am rather convined that it is not. I thought IF started to sell out with "Whoracle", but they started even before that. This is just not like LS at all. The guitars sound blunt, the bass is buried, the drumming has slowed down just like all the playing, and Friden's vocals... well, there are much better things to listen to then some dude mimicking a 90-year-old in an old folks home with dementia. Not at all descent vocals, unless you want to laugh. "Dead God In Me" does not even feature original music. A bootleg track called "Inborn Lifeless" from the lunar Strain/Subterranian disc features the axact same riffs with different lyrics and Mikael Stanne on vocals. I still like Dark Tranquillity as they did not change their music style over night like IF did, and Stanne can rasp and growl like a descent black metaller. In my mind, 1993-1995 was In Flames glory period, the time when they made their debut "Lunar Strain" and the EP of "Subterranian". Certainly defining the terms "one hit wonder" and "15 minutes of fame". I thought that by picking up this hard-to-find album I would find some more good stuff from In Flames before their sell-out period, but all I found was that they sold out on only their second album, lapsing only after just barely getting started. I won't even care when they start doing some Backstreet Boys cover tracks."

Another inspiring quote from Donald which I found in another one of his idiotic reviews: "And to those like Metalheadmissy, I pity you. Learn to find things you don't like in stuff you like...."

I guess we should all start trying to purposely hate albums we love.
 
Sinergy - Beware the Heavens

1 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
stars-2-0.gif
To think this was placed in a rack marked "Metal".... August 2, 2000
Seems rather odd since it sounded to soft. But since the members are all from metal bands, I guess that is reason enough. I heard it featured Alexi Laiho and Jesper Stromblad, as well as a female singer, so I figured why not give it a try. But In Flames started selling out with the dissapointing "Whoracle", so that should have warned me about something. On a minor detail, Alexi and Jesper are both good guitarists, but Alexi does all the solos, so labelling them in the booklet is pretty pointless. On a bigger detail, Kimberly Goss' voice does not match her looks. I expected a sort of whithy cackle to go with her leather n' tights look, but she sounds more like a modern rock/alternative singer. "Razor Blade Salvation" sounds like one of those slow dance tunes you might hear in a popular hip night club, not something you'd expect to hear in the dark uncommercial underworld of black metal. The fact that the music is not as dark sounding as Children Of Bodom or the OLD In Flames sort of takes away the title of "Metal". An the clear, melodic vocals destroy any chance of being metal. (A similar dissapointment with Chuck Schuldiner's new band, Control Denied.) This is not a totally bad album, but my expectations were let down. Goss has a descent voice, but I just think that metal is the wrong classification for this album.
 
plfffffft said:
Believe it or not, I once heard a guy in a record store talking about how Everything after Ride The Lightning was commercial, sellout bullshit.

:lol:

A lot of stuff after The Black Album sucked, but not all of it.
 
SunlapseVertigo said:
Found on Amazon.com.....

1/5 stars (minimum)
"Is this really the same band who did LUNAR STRAIN???????, February 12, 2001
[font=verdana,arial,helvetica][size=-1]Reviewer: Donald Schieck (see more about me) from Campbell, California United States [/size][/font]I am rather convined that it is not. I thought IF started to sell out with "Whoracle", but they started even before that. This is just not like LS at all. The guitars sound blunt, the bass is buried, the drumming has slowed down just like all the playing, and Friden's vocals... well, there are much better things to listen to then some dude mimicking a 90-year-old in an old folks home with dementia. Not at all descent vocals, unless you want to laugh. "Dead God In Me" does not even feature original music. A bootleg track called "Inborn Lifeless" from the lunar Strain/Subterranian disc features the axact same riffs with different lyrics and Mikael Stanne on vocals. I still like Dark Tranquillity as they did not change their music style over night like IF did, and Stanne can rasp and growl like a descent black metaller. In my mind, 1993-1995 was In Flames glory period, the time when they made their debut "Lunar Strain" and the EP of "Subterranian". Certainly defining the terms "one hit wonder" and "15 minutes of fame". I thought that by picking up this hard-to-find album I would find some more good stuff from In Flames before their sell-out period, but all I found was that they sold out on only their second album, lapsing only after just barely getting started. I won't even care when they start doing some Backstreet Boys cover tracks."

Another inspiring quote from Donald which I found in another one of his idiotic reviews: "And to those like Metalheadmissy, I pity you. Learn to find things you don't like in stuff you like...."

I guess we should all start trying to purposely hate albums we love.

o_O:zombie::ill::mad::yow::bah:.......Donald Schieck=idiot. :lol: