I know what you mean, it doesnt feel quite right while listening to it. And on the drumset issue, I can't have an Acoustic Set in my houe for 2 reasons...
1) I don't have the space at all, and digital sets are compact (moreso).
2) No one in my house (5 people) wants to hear me blast beat and go fucking nuts for 4 hours a day, and I can't blame them. I'll be listening through headphones, and it seems like a good idea at this point.
I agree about the feel, its absolutely not the same... but you can get some great sounds in my opinion. I'm sure you've heard Leviathan (as in the USBM band)... Wrest uses a digital set and I didn't know until I read that somewhere. I would prefer a real set of course, but at this time it just isnt possible.