A story that I'm working on...

[dreaming neon darkspot]

...and this one has some relation to Nevermore,(veiw it as a really bad Nevermore fan-fiction is you dislike it that much)so I'm not just wasting your time w/this...well,I probobly still am,but anyway...
I was listening to "The Mirror Black"by Sanctuary and just thiking that the lyrics of that song are sort of like a story and that lyrics of some Nevermore songs could be parts of the "story"of "The Mirror Black"...so I was just coming up w/working plots using the ideas of lyrics from DNB and I sort of came up w/this sketchy,cheesey rough copy of this story that I'm thinking of writing...
This woman commited suicide and her spirit was trapped in a mirror(that's the character of the woman form "The Mirror Black") and the only way she can be freed of the mirror is to help another suicidal person not to kill themselves(by coming into their dreams).The person whom she helps is a suicidal man(somewhat based on WD w/out using his name...doesn't he feel special now ).The woman's spirit is freed from the mirror and it shaters,but the man searches for her because he feels that he can't live without her(or something cheesey like that).So he searches for her and,over the time,becomes very depressed again.The thoughts of the spirit keep him grounded(non-suicidal)just like they had when he was first suicidal.But eventually he starts to think that she is gone forever and,therefore,dead to him.The man begins to give up on life all together and looses faith in everything so he kills himself.
At the end of the story,the ghost of the woman comes to his grave and the disappears for good.(that's the part that I really like)
I know it sounds like I'm ripping off the story of Dreaming Neon Black,but I'm just using some of the parts from it (loss,searching,giving up,almost going insane,etc.)and adding a lot of new elements to the basic story.Like the woman that he's searching for is really a spirit,I tell her story,and the man kills himself at the end,whereas it was never really said what happened to the character at the end of DNB.Just tell me what you think and if anyone had any type of tips for me about the story(not my writing ability!)they would be greatly appriciated.Thanks.

 

[MadeInNewJersey]

That sounds really cool...are you doing this for fun? or profit?

Keep us posted on how it goes...

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

Glad someone doesn't think it's bad.
I'm writing this for fun,as I do w/all of my stories.I figure that when I'm older and more experienced/educated in writing then I'll rewrite some of my longer stories like this one and publish them in a collection of short stories,maybe some of them would be long enough to publish as full lenght novels,which would be great.

 

[MadeInNewJersey]

Originally posted by dreaming neon darkspot
Glad someone doesn't think it's bad.
I'm writing this for fun,as I do w/all of my stories.I figure that when I'm older and more experienced/educated in writing then I'll rewrite some of my longer stories like this one and publish them in a collection of short stories,maybe some of them would be long enough to publish as full lenght novels,which would be great.

That would be awesome. I studied journalism/politics in college, and always thought I could take my love for writing and turn it into a lucrative career. Then I got bills, and had to get a real job.

But keep at it, so few people are truly eloquent with the art of storytelling.

 

[Black Winter Day]

yeah, i like it, it's my kinda thing, hahaha

for some reason it reminds me of the alfred hitchcock movie "vertigo". ever seen it?

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

I've seen bits and pieces of the movie,but never the whole thing.I'd like to,though.Hitchcock is one of the best directors of all time.Pshyco(spelled wrong?)is a great movie.I've watched the Alfred Hitchcock Presents series on some old movie channels and I really liked them.

 

[MadeInNewJersey]

If you 2 REALLY want to see classic Hitchcock and monumental filmmaking, you MUST see "North By Northwest" and "Rear Window." Truly awesome, twisted stuff.

 

[Black Winter Day]

yeah, psycho and vertigo are my two personal faves

yeah, the stuff i wrote at your age is almost identical to the stuff you are writing, but your ideas seem more advanced (hahahaha). i'm writing a novel now called "Je Suis Ta Ruine", it's kinda a gothic tragedy in the same vein as wuthering heights and takes place in the late 1800s. i'll post some of it when i get it done, hahaha.

 

[Will Bozarth]

id interested in seein the finished story, sounds like somethin id get into

 

[Black Winter Day]

yeah, markgugs, rear window is also very good, although i was a bit bored until the final 30 minutes

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

Originally posted by Black Winter Day


yeah, the stuff i wrote at your age is almost identical to the stuff you are writing

what...amatuer,lacking detail,grammatically incorrect?That's basicall how I veiw this one,except this has more of a plot than lots of the other stuff.That's why I plan to re-write these stories when I take writing courses in high school and collage.
Anyway,thanks,And I'd love to read or hear more about the story you're writing,it sounds incredible.if you ever got it published,I'd definatley read it.

 

[Black Winter Day]

i'd like to see some of your actual writing! send me some on e-mail or something!

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

I think I could do that.There's one that I wrote recently about this vampire who kills himself(by walking into the sun,I got that idea from an Anne Rice book)because his girlfriend was killed...*not as lame as it sounds,I hope*.But I don't really like typing long things on the computer...oh well,it's not that long.

 

[Black Winter Day]

oh, they're not on word processor? that could be painstaking. . . only type them if you want, darkspot!

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

...or you could wait just like everyone else to see my work when it's published and I'm not living w/my parents...

 

[neal]

you should keep that shit and try to use it for school asignments or somthing.
-neal

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

I will,but there aren't many school assaingments where I'd have to write a story like that.Most of the time,if it even is a story and not a report or a prompt,the teacher wil asign the topic...I think there's only one or 2 assignments in a school year where I'd get to use a story like that or one of my others like about vampires or witchcraft...of course I'd be wary about using that type of stuff in school.

 

[Will Bozarth]

lol, when we get freewriting assignments in school (when school is in, that is), i write whever the pops in my sick mind... we had to write a poem about halloween, and i freaked the shit out of everyone (we read em in front of class)

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

Oooh,I wanna hear deadskinmask's poem about Halloween.
I remember in 3rd grade(when I was in a Catholic school)an art teacher actually let us do an activity about Halloween.We'd draw something like a monster or whatever and write a story to go along w/it.I drew this picture of a werwolf standing in a garden w/human hands breaking thru the soil.I forget what the story was about exactly,that was all before I was into writing,so it was nothing remarkable.I think it was about these 2 girls who were trick-or-treating and they want into this old guy's house.Once they're in his house,he turns into a werwolf and straps them to a metal table and saws their hands and feet off then kills them and he buries their limbs in one part of his garden and their bodies in another part then every Halloween after,he has other kids stand in the garden where the hands are buried and the hands come up thru the soil and drag the kids down into the earth.
I know that sucks,but I was only in 3rd grade when I wrote it!After class,one of the guys in my class told me that it was a great story but the part where he cut off their hands and feet was "sick"...one of the best compliments I'd ever gotten.

 

[Black Winter Day]

me and my friends in 9th grade wrote a 15 page journal entry cussing out the band teacher. i mean, this shit was SICK. of course, the teacher found it. we all had to work around the school for 2 days during the summer for 18 hours of "community service". it was fun as hell, we played basketball, ran around the school and had fun, looked up porn on the teachers' computers, ate all the leftover food in the cafeteria (the teachers had a BBQ) and just sat around doing jack shit. it was two of the funnest days of my life, hahaha.