Ya know, there are still people out there who wanted this fuckin wacko to be El Presidente del Estados Unitos.
LOS ANGELES (AP) - Hollywood rolled out the green carpet Tuesday for former Vice President Algore and his global-warming documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth." Actors and activists attended the opening of the film, which argues that global warming is imminent and potentially catastrophic.
Imminent? I thought it was already here? They've been telling us, "its the first time there's been open water on the north pole in 50,000,000 years!" and all this illin' shit. But now, Algore's saying, it's imminent. Potentially catastrophic. Like Global Warming's a car-jacker hiding round the corner, waiting to attack!
Sharon Stone, David Duchovny and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" star Larry David, as well as comedian Garry Shandling, were among the star-studded crowd, where guests walked a green carpet instead of the traditional red.
Garry Shandling! He ought to be our next president! Whoa, maybe David "I got no job" Duchovny! Another unemployed enviro-bastard for Prezzzz. And Sharon "I got no pants" Stone? She opted for a percentage of the take on Basic Instinct II but got nothing more than the panties she was not supposed to wear in that stinking reel of used toilet paper.
"It's just the environment and planet, that's all," Shandling said.
That's all, that's all. He's supposed to be raising awareness, but he nonchalantly talks about it like its a goddamned ham sandwich. If I was Algore, I would be like "Garry! You die! You die and go to hell! Show the ice caps more respect than that!"
One event sponsor, Hewlett-Packard, brought guests from a hotel in a vehicle powered by biofuel instead of gasoline.
Perhaps they used pig shit like in MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME. Algore can play the unstoppable bald guy and Garry Shandling can play the Tina Turner role: "Bust a deal, and face the wheel, muthafucka!!"
Others attending included snowboarder and Olympic gold medalist Shaun White, who said he was interested in global warming because he believed it had reduced snow pack.
No shit, Eisenstein!
"The lower elevation mountains are not getting as much snow," said White, known as the "Flying Tomato" because of his red hair.
The flying tomato's obviously snorted too much of the snow on his mountains. It fuckin snowed like crazy around here this winter. I remember something about, oh, what, the worst blizzard in NY City history?? Where the fuck's this asshole tryin to ski, Jamaica?
White said the sport would suffer if "you can't go to your local mountain and ride.
This is the sort of genius that surrounds our "Real Presidunce," Algore Jr.
Jurched
LOS ANGELES (AP) - Hollywood rolled out the green carpet Tuesday for former Vice President Algore and his global-warming documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth." Actors and activists attended the opening of the film, which argues that global warming is imminent and potentially catastrophic.
Imminent? I thought it was already here? They've been telling us, "its the first time there's been open water on the north pole in 50,000,000 years!" and all this illin' shit. But now, Algore's saying, it's imminent. Potentially catastrophic. Like Global Warming's a car-jacker hiding round the corner, waiting to attack!
Sharon Stone, David Duchovny and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" star Larry David, as well as comedian Garry Shandling, were among the star-studded crowd, where guests walked a green carpet instead of the traditional red.
Garry Shandling! He ought to be our next president! Whoa, maybe David "I got no job" Duchovny! Another unemployed enviro-bastard for Prezzzz. And Sharon "I got no pants" Stone? She opted for a percentage of the take on Basic Instinct II but got nothing more than the panties she was not supposed to wear in that stinking reel of used toilet paper.
"It's just the environment and planet, that's all," Shandling said.
That's all, that's all. He's supposed to be raising awareness, but he nonchalantly talks about it like its a goddamned ham sandwich. If I was Algore, I would be like "Garry! You die! You die and go to hell! Show the ice caps more respect than that!"
One event sponsor, Hewlett-Packard, brought guests from a hotel in a vehicle powered by biofuel instead of gasoline.
Perhaps they used pig shit like in MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME. Algore can play the unstoppable bald guy and Garry Shandling can play the Tina Turner role: "Bust a deal, and face the wheel, muthafucka!!"
Others attending included snowboarder and Olympic gold medalist Shaun White, who said he was interested in global warming because he believed it had reduced snow pack.
No shit, Eisenstein!
"The lower elevation mountains are not getting as much snow," said White, known as the "Flying Tomato" because of his red hair.
The flying tomato's obviously snorted too much of the snow on his mountains. It fuckin snowed like crazy around here this winter. I remember something about, oh, what, the worst blizzard in NY City history?? Where the fuck's this asshole tryin to ski, Jamaica?
White said the sport would suffer if "you can't go to your local mountain and ride.
This is the sort of genius that surrounds our "Real Presidunce," Algore Jr.
Jurched
