Alright you fetid pieces of bulky white shit

[DarkBliss]

Don't you have public restrooms for this?

 

[DarkBliss]

I know what you mean. It also sounds really loud when someone is trying to open the door while you're inside(the acoustics are better). It's like they're trying to charge inside to burst your little bubble of privacy.So annoying.

 

[Saparmurat_Niyazov]

Shouldn't you be giving a blumpkin to your boss named Blumpkin, maybe you'll move up the ladder over there instead of mopping up semen at the beat off booths.

You make it sound like beating off is an essential business function.

BOSS: "Johnson!"
EMPLOYEE: "Yes sir?"
BOSS: "Here's the new guy. Give him this bottle of Jergens and get him started over there in the beat off booth."
EMPLOYEE: "Right away sir!"

 

[DarkBliss]

Sounds like boot camp to me, or strangely, a pirate ship.:zombie:

 

[Pessimism]

Recalling memories of your faggoty youth DarkBliss?

 

[DarkBliss]

Aye, sir. I be a wee rascal only 3 years of age, hopelessly lost at sea after an undercurrent swept me off my feet and carried me away to the middle of watery nowhere.Held afloat by a pair of inflatable diapers full of processed breakfast droppings, I wandered the ocean aimlessly for days, whence a ship suddenly appeared on the horizon and a not so noble captain with malicious ideas in his mind offered me succor and thus saved me from certain death. The rest of the story is not as poetic.

 

[panzerfaust666]

I don't know how anyone could manage to beat off in a public baño, as the stall dividers almost never reach the floor (probably for the exact purpose of preventing their use for masturbation).

Of course occasionally one finds a single-man restroom, which is workable as long as it's not heavily trafficked with people knocking on the door / turning the handle / forcing open a shitty lock at regular intervals.

your first point doesnt hinder me...

lul wut

 

[Belligerent]

You make it sound like beating off is an essential business function.

It is.

 

[waif]

I don't know how anyone could manage to beat off in a public baño, as the stall dividers almost never reach the floor (probably for the exact purpose of preventing their use for masturbation).

It's important that your feet not be visible when masturbating, right?

 

[waif]

No, it seems bizarre. As long as people can't see your hand on your dick I don't understand the issue.

 

[Einherjar86]

It makes you more audible, and people may notice awkward postures or involuntary motions from looking at your feet. Either you're the stealthiest masturbator ever or you have a very poor imagination of what it's like wanking in a public bathroom.

You must learn the art of zen masturbation, my son. Only then shall you be free to stroke your cock not only in the semi-private stalls of the Western toilets, but among a crowd of your closest friends. And together, in the simultaneous bliss of the climax, you shall cum as one.

 

[Onder]

It makes you more audible, and people may notice awkward postures or involuntary motions from looking at your feet. Either you're the stealthiest masturbator ever or you have a very poor imagination of what it's like wanking in a public bathroom.

(I'd like to respond but I'm not sure whether you're being serious or not, but yeah ok I'll take the risk: )

Wow. This was very self-masturbatory pretentious. If you're so concerned about someone having doubts about what you're doing in the fucking stall you than you can sure make yourself have orgasm without tap-dancing. Or you can stand on the toilet bowl.

 

[Onder]

(I'm being serious btw Onder)

Then Grant, I have to inform you kindly, that the dividers are not made this way to insure people against the great lust of masturbating inside.

And btw no, I have never wanked at public, only in forest, in serenity.

 

[DarkBliss]

Man, this thread is amazing. Thank you, Pessimism.

 

[mutantllama]

never wanked at public, only in forest, in serenity.

I've done this before.


It's feels good and weird at the same time. I also one time almost fapped at work, when I saw this hot chick come in, but I had enough self control.

 

[JGMetalhead]

You must learn the art of zen masturbation, my son. Only then shall you be free to stroke your cock not only in the semi-private stalls of the Western toilets, but among a crowd of your closest friends. And together, in the simultaneous bliss of the climax, you shall cum as one.

CIRCLE JERKIN'!!!!

 

[Onder]

I've done this before.


It's feels good and weird at the same time. I also one time almost fapped at work, when I saw this hot chick come in, but I had enough self control.

Oh god you made me remember how we once fapped in school during class.. The teacher must have seen it but yeah we didn't even have orgasm or anything, it was just some kind of pubescent fun. It´s a nice time when kids are discovering things like these and then it fucks up and you're caught in your own mental web of despair and lust to get your dick in women who are rarely anything else than shitty fucking stupid shit.

 

[waif]

Either you're the stealthiest masturbator ever or you have a very poor imagination of what it's like wanking in a public bathroom.

The second. Why the hell would I ever jerk off in a public bathroom? I can hold it till I get to somewhere more private and besides, I can't think of a less suitable atmosphere for jerking off than the scent and sounds of other men shitting.

 

[JGMetalhead]

I have to agree. The scent of shit is not a good scent. And don't forget that the "walls" of privacy don't reach to the top and bottom. Some asshole can stick his head under and say "Hey! What ya doin' ya fuck?" or just insult the size of your dick (most surely if its a small one).

 

[Satanstoenail]

Oh god you made me remember how we once fapped in school during class.. The teacher must have seen it but yeah we didn't even have orgasm or anything, it was just some kind of pubescent fun. It´s a nice time when kids are discovering things like these and then it fucks up and you're caught in your own mental web of despair and lust to get your dick in women who are rarely anything else than shitty fucking stupid shit.