***** Long but worth it *****
Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this
guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global
Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on
offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to
his sister. She then sent it to a radio station who
was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've
been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would
share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not
so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened
to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities
of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a
wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it
to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to
the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the
air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and
I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do , when I get to the bottom and start
working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back
of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit warm water.
It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my
butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my
butt started to burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
done. In sgony I realized what had happened. The hot
water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it
into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my
back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the
crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the
fact that he, along with five other divers, were all
laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops, totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber
dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing
but by brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears
of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I
got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for
two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
about how much worse it would be if you had a
jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself,
"I love my job, I love my job."
__________________
94 ALLISON XR2001 W/MOD 2.5 EFI
94 ALLISON XB2002 W/MOD 2.5 DRAG
