So ummm....I'm hellping my firend with this thing and am doing reviews and faggotry uon some shit.
Read this balls and kick in nuts before I dress up like Tee and post pictures of myself!
Tell me what you think and shittits. I was going to post a link to it but it's on pricatryt faggotry so I can't, so here it is:
Read this balls and kick in nuts before I dress up like Tee and post pictures of myself!
Tell me what you think and shittits. I was going to post a link to it but it's on pricatryt faggotry so I can't, so here it is:
So here I sit, intoxicated and dressed in womens clothing, I listen to Polish Black Metal.
Whilst listening to this CD, I realize that I have always truly appreciated it because, well.....it kicks fucking ass. The album I speak of is Behemoth - The Apostasy, released some year in some World. I think it was in 2007 on the planet Earth. Anywho, as balls suggest, it is a fucking masterpiece and an epiphany in the melodic black metal genre. My balls are rolling!
The album starts out with a melodic feel featuring nothing more than a female voice singing without words. It has an ancient feeling; something you could imagine yourself hearing in the Roman times circa Babylon. Well, this lasts for about fifteen seconds when the guitars and drums kick in. It has a heavy, yet marching sound where you could actually picture a Roman army marching against the undead into a black sea of death and/or agony. Pretty fucking brutal, isnt it?!
This is just the kicker, too! This swift instrumental lasts for about a good minute and a half when all of a sudden, you hear a note held down with a bit of feedback. What could happen next? Oh my god, something awesome must be coming!
You are then mesmerized by Infernos very fucking awesome drumming skills in the next track entitled Slaying the Prophets Ov Isa. He kicks it off with an awesome series of rolls and ends the quick streak with very fast double bass, splash and snare rudiments. If drumming was a dick-sucking marathon, Inferno would be king. The drums are then not the only thing paid attention to for the guitars kick in with mind-blowing series of blackness. This goes on while the brutal vocals of Nergal kick in to add to the catastrophe of eardrum euphoria.
But wait! Does it ever end?! No......if it did, it would suck. It would suck so much that I would /wrist with wearing nothing but lipstick and stiletto heels (which is very hot on females, by the way *nudge*). The album continues to blow minds and make you want to masturbate furiously when all of a sudden, before you realized that time was still a part of human life, Arcana Hereticae kicks in with a vengeance. The guitars and drums all are in sync with this track with a killer rhythm riff, overlapped by a melodic (still black metalish) lead backed by some very, very, VERY fast and impressive drum work by my favorite wanker, Inferno. While hes doing a series of killer double-bass blast beats (I dont know what else to fucking call them!), the guitars continue to kill old people in Utah. Inferno is so fast that he taught God how to play drums!
While this seems like a short span (it really is), Inferno continues to cause climax by a roll forty-five seconds in. Oh, did I mention that immediately after his body-exploding drum roll he breaks into a fast double-bass "solo"? This lasts for about one or two seconds but puts Hellhammers In Sorte Diaboli double-bass to shame! As much as I love Dimmu and Hellhammer let alone In Sorte Diaboli, this little drum riff gives me enough baby batter to make thirteen kids and raise them in the deepest, darkest depths of Hell (Earth).
Well, this song continues, just like the others, to give me multiple orgasms when the next song, Libertheme, takes over me. The greatest thing about this track?! Oh! I got it! Its fucking Warrel Dane!
WD (from Nevermore, one of my favs) makes a guest appearance on this collection of insane music writing. Did I mention that Nevermore (a Seattle-based band, I might add) is one of my favorite groups in todays world? Anywho, there is awesome collaboration between Nergal and WD in this track. Warrel fits right in and the transition between his and Nergals vocal parts go so well together that it makes me consider cutting off my genatalia and becoming a moaning Eunuch.
Well, I think this is enough typing on one album. This gives you the breakdown on the brutalness of the album with something that you can hopefully visualize enough to compel you to go out and get the album. It is a fucking masterpiece and to be perfectly honest, for you Behemoth listeners out there, I prefer this album over Demigod. Infernos drumming has vastly improved while Nergals voice is less raspy and more brutal, the way Behemoth should be! Need not worry, melodic snobs! I as a progressive and melodic lover approve of this album both being brutal and melodic. Nothing beats melodies in one of the most brutal forms of Metal to date!
Listen to it before I eat your babies and remember, stay Metal!
