chuck norris facts

[beyond dead]

chuck norris counted to infinity. twice

 

[Habsburgs]

Whats all the Chuck Norris shit .. I dont get it...... (?)

 

[AudioPhile777]

Once a year, Chuck Norris picks a lucky child at random to be throw into the sun.

 

[006]

I actually have a Chuck Norris-ism widget for the dashboard on my G5.

I don't think I have seen the same fact twice, and it always gives me a new random one every time I click on it. Good fun for a while, but it gets old.




Until I get reminded that I have it

~006

 

[Aaron Smith]

I love the Walker Texas Ranger lever that Conan O'Brien has next to his desk sometimes...

 

[Metaltastic]

Chuck Norris has a pet hamster named Boris Norris. If you point out that it's funny that "Boris" rhymes with "Norris," Chuck rhymes "your face" with "roundhouse kick." He then gives Boris a cookie for his troubles.



And Habsburgs, there's really not much to get, unfortunately - just another example of the random, spontaneous style of humor (or "Family Guy" humor, if you will) that doesn't have a very long shelf life (although I still like the Chuck Norris facts, so that's an exception )

 

[dan weapon]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer... Too bad he has never cried.

In an average room there are 1,264 things that Chuck Norris could kill you with, including the room itself.

Some people wear Superman pyjamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas.

Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can win connect 4 in three moves.

 

[dan weapon]

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

 

[beyond dead]

if you spell chuck norris in scrabble you win automatically. forever

 

[musickey]

Behind Chuck Norris's beard is another fist.

 

[Joematthews]

Some people piss their names into snow. Chuck Norris pisses his name into steel.

 

[Machinated]

I actually have a Chuck Norris-ism widget for the dashboard on my G5.

I don't think I have seen the same fact twice, and it always gives me a new random one every time I click on it. Good fun for a while, but it gets old.




Until I get reminded that I have it

~006

Cheers for the tip off - already given me a few chuckles

 

[deanbailey]

 

[FULLMETALSPEEDO]

1.If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

2.There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

3.Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

4.Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

5.Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

6.Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

7.Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

8.Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

9.Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

10. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

 

[006]

Oh did you find it Ed?

~006

 

[Machinated]

Yeah, trusty google haha. Not sure if its the same one you have, but I think the cartoon rendition of big Chuck is pretty classic too.

 

[beyond dead]

getting this when i get home

 

[006]

If it's a huge cartoon-style Chuck with a karate gi on (I think I got that right), then it is the one!

Also, this is kinda OT but another great widget is the iStat Pro, unless you have it/heard of it already.

~006

 

[Machinated]

Chuck Norris' first job was as a paper boy. There were no survivors.

 

[Skinny Viking]

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag people ...

he sandbags them