Dakryn's Batshit Theory of the Week

[The Ozzman]

I forget where I read the details, but apparently that 7+ trillion dollars is still only a drop in the bucket compared to all the trillions in faulty securities and derivatives that are causing the world economies to collapse like so many dominos.

Outstanding positions as of 2008:

Futures: 81 trillion
OTC markets overall: 596 trillion dollars

 

[The Heartbreak Kid]

Giant Ants will take over your backgarden, and the Oldest Croc is dying out. You heard it here first ladies!

 

[Blind Guardian]

How big will the giant ants be? Because an ant as big as a house wouldn't even be able to support it's own weight.

 

[The Heartbreak Kid]

About the size of a large bumblebee. They can eat children though.

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

a large bumblebee? He's already pretty big

 

[XSASweet]

oh lord

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7766683.stm

Guitarist Satriani sues Coldplay

Grammy nominees Coldplay have been sued by rock guitarist Joe Satriani, who claims the band's song Viva La Vida uses one of his riffs.

In court papers filed in Los Angeles on Thursday, he said the song used "substantial original portions" of his 2004 instrumental If I Could Fly.

Satriani, 52, wants a jury trial and is seeking damages and "any and all profits" for the alleged plagiarism.

Coldplay are shortlisted for seven Grammys, including song of the year.

Viva La Vida is credited to the band's four members - singer Chris Martin, bass player Guy Berryman, guitarist Johnny Buckland and drummer Will Champion.

The song's title was inspired by Mexican artist Frida Kahlo.

It appeared on the album Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends - which was released in June and went to number one in 36 countries - and was also one of their hit singles.

Satriani's track appears on his album Is There Love in Space?

 

[Valerie]

 

[Evil?]

Coldplay seriously suck so hard. Something about their sound just infuriates me.

 

[cookiecutter]

They are just incredibly boring

 

[Satanstoenail]

Guitarist stabbed 50 times, band members arrested

From The Age

The singer in a teen gothic metal band and her brother allegedly stabbed the band's guitarist dozens of times because he did not play well enough, Italian police and a lawyer said on Friday.

Police in Genoa, on Italy's north-western coast, said the 16-year-old victim remained hospitalised but his life was not in danger.

He was attacked on Saturday night after the band, Soul Cry, rehearsed in Sestri Ponente, a small town near Genoa. He was stabbed about 50 times, mainly to his back and head, said police official Alessandra Bucci in Genoa.

The 18-year-old singer, Cristina Balzano, and her 16-year-old brother, the band's bass player, were arrested on charges of premeditated attempted murder.

During the rehearsal, band members accused the victim of playing poorly, police said. The attack occurred moments later in a narrow alley.

Balzano was caught by police holding a kitchen knife with an 18-centimetre blade, her brother next to her and the victim in a pool of blood, Bucci said.

"The motive - absurd as that is - is apparently that the way my client played his instrument did not satisfy the two," said Giuseppe Maria Muscolo, a lawyer for the victim.

Police said they had seized a note that the 16-year-old suspect wrote to the victim days before the attack, which read: "I'm preparing a nice little funeral for you."

The victim has accused both suspects of stabbing him, police and the lawyer said.

Balzano initially said she was trying to stop the victim from committing suicide, Bucci said. She later refused to answer investigators' questions. Her brother has accused her of being the only attacker.

Lawyers for the suspects could not immediately be reached for comment. But the Genoa-based paper Il Secolo XIX quoted lawyers for Balzano as saying she doesn't remember anything and that they had asked for a psychological evaluation.

AP

Excellent

 

[Valerie]

 

[Satanstoenail]

I know it's bad, terrible really. But the amount of times I've wanted to stab guitarists who couldn't play properly...

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

Those two should be sent to their death.

 

[Dak]

Children's Dictionary Revision

Words put in:

Blog, broadband, MP3 player, voicemail, attachment, database, export, chatroom, bullet point, cut and paste, analogue

Celebrity, tolerant, vandalism, negotiate, interdependent, creep, citizenship, childhood, conflict, common sense, debate, EU, drought, brainy, boisterous, cautionary tale, bilingual, bungee jumping, committee, compulsory, cope, democratic, allergic, biodegradable, emotion, dyslexic, donate, endangered, Euro

Apparatus, food chain, incisor, square number, trapezium, alliteration, colloquial, idiom, curriculum, classify, chronological, block graph

Just as bad are the completely legit words pulled out.

 

[XSASweet]

Lol bush

Welcome to Baghdad. An Iraqi reporter set off pandemonium Sunday by hurling two shoes at President Bush during a news conference that was the centerpiece of his secret goodbye visit.

Bush was cool under fire and prevented an even bigger incident by waving off his lead Secret Service agent, who was prepared to extract him from the room.

Video shows the president's lead agent rushing to the podium, but the president immediately and subtly motions to him that it's OK. The agent backs off.

The president successfully ducked both throws. Photos show him with his head down near the top of the podium. The embarrassing incident marred a visit meant to show off the improved conditions since the troop "surge" dramatically reduced casualties to U.S. troops.

"This is a gift from the Iraqis. This is the farewell kiss, you dog," the journalist shouted (in Arabic), Steven Lee Myers of The New York Times reported in a pool report to the White House press corps.

Myers reported that the man threw the second shoe and added: "This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq."

Journalists at the scene said the hurler was Muntadar al-Zaidi, a reporter for Al-Baghdadia TV, an independent satellite channel based in Cairo.

A producer for the channel was murdered in Baghdad last year.

Myers wrote in his pool report: "The president's appearance was interrupted by a man, apparently a journalist, who leapt to his feet and threw his shoe at the president, who ducked and thus narrowly missed being struck. Chaos ensued. The [man] threw a second shoe, which also narrowly missed the president. The man was roughly 12 feet from the lectern in the center of two rows of chairs, about two feet from the pool. A scrum of security agents descended on the man and wrestled him, first to the floor and then out of the ornate room where the press conference was taking place. The president was at no point injured and he brushed off the incident."

"All I can report is it is a size 10," Bush quipped.

 

[Ben_t]

That couple took all the ideas I had to name my kids...

Little 'Adolf Hitler' Denied Birthday Cake at New Jersey Grocery Store
Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Dec. 16, 2008: Heath Campbell, left, with his wife Deborah and son Adolf Hitler, 3, pose in Easton, Pa.
EASTON, Pa. — The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child's full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance.

Heath Campbell and his wife, Deborah, are upset not only with the decision made by the nearby ShopRite, but also with an outpouring of angry Internet postings in response to a local newspaper article about the cake.

Heath Campbell, who is 35, said in an interview Tuesday that people should look forward, not back, and accept change.

"They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what [Hitler] did," he said.

After ShopRite refused the request for the cake as inappropriate, the Campbells got a cake decorated at a Wal-Mart in Pennsylvania, Deborah Campbell said.

About 12 people attended the birthday party on Sunday, according to Heath Campbell.

The Campbells' other two children also have unusual names: JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell turns 2 in a few months and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell will be 1 in April.

Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name."

Campbell said his ancestors are German and that he has lived all his life in Hunterdon County, New Jersey, which is across the Delaware River from Easton. .

 

[Blind Guardian]

That's fucked up, would be cool though if their next kids got named Mao Zedong Campbell, Josef Stalin Campbell, Kim Jong Il Campbell, Benito Mussolini Campbell, Pol Pot Campbell etc.

 

[cookiecutter]

wtf is Honszlynn Hinler

 

[Dak]

Music Industry to end lawsuits over filesharing, pursue other measures

 

[Ender Rises]

I wonder if uTorrent's encryption thing will keep me in the clear. I don't want to lose my internet. We'll see.