Nice review.
After saying for years that I'd never buy this album and only download it (illegally, of course), I cracked and bought the LP yesterday.
Poor Lars. You've got to feel bad for a guy who obviously has no actual 'talent' on the drum kits, and winds up in a band that expects so much out of him at 45 years old. How is he going to be able to play these raging, badass songs live, night after night?
At it's best, the album sounds like the Metallica of old never left. The compositions are thoughtful, intense, with some seriously grinding riffs. A chunky and tight guitar tone, some spring in the beats, and long tangential adventures into the riff-filled land, and I can almost forget that Stanger ever happened. "The End of the Line," "Cyanide," and "The Judas Kiss" are all face fuckers.
But at it's worse, Metallica becomes a parody of themselves. Some of Lars' gratuitous thrash beats just sound so forced and fake, James' lyrics go from puerile to putrid, and most of Kirk's solos kill any of the mojo that they've worked 5 years to build back up (seriously, some of those solos fucking suck. Jeff, couldn't you have acted as pinch soloist?). "Unforgiven III" is a waste of time, and the instrumental, while it contains some cool riffs, has no cohesion that I've found yet, though I honestly haven't given enough of a shit to look for one.
With anticipation such as this, you can't help but expect perfection, but when it comes down to it, Death Magnetic is a save job. It's purpose isn't to kick our asses into eternity, but to wash the stale stang out of our mouths, and remind us that Metallica is still the number one metal brand that every metalhead, from the blackened to the slackened, can rock out to together.
And it's better than that new Testament.