you can't get yourself to throw it away because you are inexplicably scared???
so instead, i am going to analyze it, and get to the roots of why, exactly i hate this object.
the object in question is a 7-year bottle of "MAGICAL MANE CONDITIONER."
for starters, here is a photo of it:
things to notice:
1. this picture looks like a poster for a hippy cult in the 70's, doesn't it? someone else said it reminds them of feminine hygeine products and they are absolutely correct.
2. one of the first thing that comes to mind is that: "what the fuck, wind does not blow hair like that!!!" it literally seems to be frozen in that shape OR! her head is shaped like a elongated downward-sloping alien head with bristly hairs at the end of it. you can't really tell, because it's a silhouette. the horse has more natural-flowing hair than her, so is this conditioner truly only meant for HORSES and not HUMANS?
3. she is naked because everyone knows that girls ride horses naked into the sunset a la lady godiva, right? so this leads me to believe that since her upper arm is all bunched up and wrinkly and cellulosed... but then SUDDENLY half-way through on the right arm, and 3/4 down on the left arm... HER FLESH IS MISSING FROM HER ARM! that is gross because i hate the idea of half-bloodified bone arms holding a reign.
4. by her crotch, in the front, there exists a shape that seems to be part of the saddle. however, on closer examination of the silhouette, it is a small sitting buddha statue staring directly at the area of her crotch. this is greatly unnerving to me because you know that once she gets off that horse, they are going to have sex.
now that we've covered the visual anomalies of MAGICAL MANE, let's move onto the smell and texture.
a main ingredient is lanolin, which is STICKY SHEEP HAIR OIL THAT ALSO HAPPENS TO SMELL LIKE ASS PASTE. also, it does not help that the consistency is thick and PASTY and YELLOW, making me think of mummified vagina excretion.
i've used it once in my life.
the worst part is that I CAN NOT GET MYSELF TO THROW THIS BOTTLE AWAY. WHAT THE FUCK SFSFDSDF! RIGHT?
SOMETHING is magnetizing me to it. it's an odd phenomenon and i'm wondering if it really does have to do with cults and brainwashing somehow.
alien-shaped head, fear of disposal, buddha statue, mutilation. all signs point to this direction.
what do you think? i've had 7 years to think about this and assess the situation and that is the conculsion.
so instead, i am going to analyze it, and get to the roots of why, exactly i hate this object.
the object in question is a 7-year bottle of "MAGICAL MANE CONDITIONER."
for starters, here is a photo of it:
things to notice:
1. this picture looks like a poster for a hippy cult in the 70's, doesn't it? someone else said it reminds them of feminine hygeine products and they are absolutely correct.
2. one of the first thing that comes to mind is that: "what the fuck, wind does not blow hair like that!!!" it literally seems to be frozen in that shape OR! her head is shaped like a elongated downward-sloping alien head with bristly hairs at the end of it. you can't really tell, because it's a silhouette. the horse has more natural-flowing hair than her, so is this conditioner truly only meant for HORSES and not HUMANS?
3. she is naked because everyone knows that girls ride horses naked into the sunset a la lady godiva, right? so this leads me to believe that since her upper arm is all bunched up and wrinkly and cellulosed... but then SUDDENLY half-way through on the right arm, and 3/4 down on the left arm... HER FLESH IS MISSING FROM HER ARM! that is gross because i hate the idea of half-bloodified bone arms holding a reign.
4. by her crotch, in the front, there exists a shape that seems to be part of the saddle. however, on closer examination of the silhouette, it is a small sitting buddha statue staring directly at the area of her crotch. this is greatly unnerving to me because you know that once she gets off that horse, they are going to have sex.
now that we've covered the visual anomalies of MAGICAL MANE, let's move onto the smell and texture.
a main ingredient is lanolin, which is STICKY SHEEP HAIR OIL THAT ALSO HAPPENS TO SMELL LIKE ASS PASTE. also, it does not help that the consistency is thick and PASTY and YELLOW, making me think of mummified vagina excretion.
i've used it once in my life.the worst part is that I CAN NOT GET MYSELF TO THROW THIS BOTTLE AWAY. WHAT THE FUCK SFSFDSDF! RIGHT?
SOMETHING is magnetizing me to it. it's an odd phenomenon and i'm wondering if it really does have to do with cults and brainwashing somehow.
alien-shaped head, fear of disposal, buddha statue, mutilation. all signs point to this direction.
what do you think? i've had 7 years to think about this and assess the situation and that is the conculsion.
