Do you wipe your arse standing up or sitting down?
- Thread starter Reign in Acai
- Start date
Ars Magna
Ars Magna Recordings
swizzlenuts
i'm sciencing as fast as i can
Demilich
Remember
that guy has a way with words that reminds me of our own resident Shakespeare, Mr. Acai!What a goddamn story
cthulufhtagn
Went Out for Smokes 13 Years Ago
Ars Magna
Ars Magna Recordings
I first read this years ago but, upon reading it again, that was my first thought.
What a great read
"The move" explains my dad's morning bowel movements. The very moment the bathroom door closes, you hear an explosion. My whole family has wondered, "How does he do that?" I mean, when he comes back out it's obvious that he hasn't shit his pants or anything.
"The move" explains my dad's morning bowel movements. The very moment the bathroom door closes, you hear an explosion. My whole family has wondered, "How does he do that?" I mean, when he comes back out it's obvious that he hasn't shit his pants or anything.
War Ensemble
Enos, You Dipstick!
Krilons Resa
Jerry's married?!
War Ensemble
Enos, You Dipstick!
Krigloch the Furious
Pants full of poo
E-bortion
Omae wa mo shindeiru
- Dec 23, 2004
- 3,508
- 4
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best show ever.the jeff goldblum "wait mate" bit always makes me chuckle. the whole idea is just stupid enough, paired with jeff goldblum trying to act serious, in an unserious manner.
WICHITA, Kan. (AP) -- Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years - so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the boyfriend finally called police.
Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.
"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."
Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.
"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."
He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.
"And her reply would be, `Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."
The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.
Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.
"She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.
She was reported in fair condition at a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.
Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.
Police have declined to release the couple's names, but the house where authorities say the incident happened is listed in public records as the residence of Kory McFarren. No one answered his home phone number.
The case has been the buzz of Ness City, said James Ellis, a neighbor.
"I don't think anybody can make any sense out of it," he said.
Ellis said he had known the woman since she was a child but that he had not seen her for at least six years.
He said she had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up. At one time the woman worked for a long-term care facility, he said, but he did not know what kind of work she did there.
"It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."
Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.
"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."
Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.
"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."
He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.
"And her reply would be, `Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."
The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.
Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.
"She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.
She was reported in fair condition at a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.
Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.
Police have declined to release the couple's names, but the house where authorities say the incident happened is listed in public records as the residence of Kory McFarren. No one answered his home phone number.
The case has been the buzz of Ness City, said James Ellis, a neighbor.
"I don't think anybody can make any sense out of it," he said.
Ellis said he had known the woman since she was a child but that he had not seen her for at least six years.
He said she had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up. At one time the woman worked for a long-term care facility, he said, but he did not know what kind of work she did there.
"It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."
dill_the_devil
OneMetal.com Music Editor
Next time someone asks me when I'm coming out of the bathroom, my reply will be 'Maybe tomorrow' in honour of that crazy, crazy bitch.
Susperia
Member
Um.... yes but I find the fact her boyfriend let his traumatized girlfriend sit on the toilet for 2 YEARS a little deranged and crazy as well. And so disgusting I can't eat the rest of this delicious cookie.
They should both be shot in the head. Before they reproduce. Hey maybe that's how it started---She might have miscarried whilst going to the bathroom and it was so horrible she lost all ambition to get up. :|
Just an idea.
They should both be shot in the head. Before they reproduce. Hey maybe that's how it started---She might have miscarried whilst going to the bathroom and it was so horrible she lost all ambition to get up. :|
Just an idea.
NAD
What A Horrible Night To Have A Curse
I only read the first page of this mess before I had to hand out like fifteen 5 Stars awards. Freakin' genius.
I've never even considered standing up while wiping as a usual practice, but I have done it once or twice due to "whoops, missed a spot" theatrics, and not wanting to remount the terlit for fear of confusing my bowels. The efficiency of it all blows pretty hard, not sure why anyone would do it that way, but as always, same shit, different asshole.
RE: tampons, one time I was messing around with my bint at the time and I noticed some little string thing coming out of her chonies, I just assumed it was a loose thread so started to pull on it. Her reaction time was pretty fast, and a catastrophe was avoided.
I've never even considered standing up while wiping as a usual practice, but I have done it once or twice due to "whoops, missed a spot" theatrics, and not wanting to remount the terlit for fear of confusing my bowels. The efficiency of it all blows pretty hard, not sure why anyone would do it that way, but as always, same shit, different asshole.
RE: tampons, one time I was messing around with my bint at the time and I noticed some little string thing coming out of her chonies, I just assumed it was a loose thread so started to pull on it. Her reaction time was pretty fast, and a catastrophe was avoided.