Do you wipe your arse standing up or sitting down?

The More You Know!!!

  • Total voters
    54
Krigloch the Furious said:
yesterday I took a "almost shit my pants because I couldnt make it to the toity on time shit" It was grand it its push that didnt even exist. Just a sit and split.
I played so much tetris on my phone, that my legs fell asleep. When I stood up to wipe I almost fell over. So I just stood there for a while and used the hand rail ( I was at work)
It's a good feeling when you know you have spent a good 20-25 minutes taking a shit.... while at work and getting paid for it.
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yeah, i take my time at work. I use MSN from the shitter with my phone.

"dude, I'm crapping out a scented candle."
 
Reign in Acai said:
Take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Apply a generous serving to both halves.
Wipe the ends down with a napkin to prevent any from smearing the table.
Take both halves, prop them up vertically, smoosh them together.
What do you see at the bottom end of the sandwich?
RUN OFF
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I like my peanut butter without jelly.
 
I had...an incident...the other day while sleeping (when I had the ol food poisoning). I woke up just as I let the tension on the puckered o-ring lag a little. Not even two seconds was enough to leave its mark on the bed. And the comforter. And the floor (when I jumped up, startled).

AND I was wearing boxers. Instant soakage, regardless. :ill:
 
dill_the_devil said:
I don't fancy the pissy end of my cock rubbing against the inside of my wrist while I'm wiping..
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JayKeeley said:
?????????????????????? :zombie:

I've never been so confused and hysterical at the same time :lol:
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I just laughed my ass off! :lol:

This reminds me of my post on the Nile board back in 05'

...I woke up at 7am, took a piss, washed out my eyes, brushed my teeth, came downstairs and got online. My mom made me breakfast (yay) and I went upstairs to get it, then came back downstairs. Took a couple bites and had to shit... I mean I HAD to shit! Ran upstairs, pulled down my pants and couldnt hold it anymore, shit shot out of my ass onto the floor and the rug under the toilet. I sat down as quick as possible and released a massive shit in water form. I looked down and realized it would be shitty to clean this up, so I wiped it with some TP and threw it in the washer.
It is now clean as new.
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I hate wiping after a water shit. That first wipe is so gooey and gross that a shamwow would puke
 
I keep trying this, but the only time I use it (and always have) was places with toilets so foul I don't want to touch them. ever. But I reach around the outside, I'm not going in between for the same reason as dill.
 
frank, only you would poop out a turd that would situate itself in the toilet bowl to resemble a cock and balls. :loco:

great job!
 
Do you guys hold your breath when you see pictures of poop on the internet? For some reason I have a feeling that the smell will come through the internet
 
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