DT Forum Members (and their messed up relationships)

[rahvin]

@hyena: it's maybe a case of automatic reply on first try. i wouldn't put it past him to reject all newcomers requests until said newcomers are either so persistent they resemble scientology zealots or so non-vertical on his doormat they look like something the cat dragged in.
my sexual popularity now i can - and better - live with. my total lack of sexual popularity until i was 17-18 or something was a disaster and made me end up with ppl like big ilaria and worse.

@saw_you_drown: welcome to the board. i like that song.

rahvin.

 

[hyena]

well, he doesn't even know of my newbie run. on second thought, i might have been wrong in choosing the channel - that course director lady would possibly put all hot shots in a capsule and keep them away from the world still, that was the proper way to inquire, at least i didn't look like i was going freebase. doormat strategy is next

hyena (bummer)

 

[Saw_You_Drown]

thanx for all the welcomes, yes its going "ok" could be better, but when couldnt something be better?

 

[hyena]

okay, something on how i feel. after years of complaining that i was not finding any intelligent man with my values i do find a good, brilliant catholic boy in my training class. of course he's just been left by one very silly girl and he's trailing the path i trailed from april 2000 to november 2001. although rahvin manages to make me laugh and relax a bit, i am terrified at the repetitiveness of some clichés: one worthy human being goes out for ages or less so with one unworthy human being, and their world crashes when aforementioned unworthy human being changes their mind on account of "i didn't feel like seeing you last weekend, so i don't love you anymore. and oh, i am seeing someone else". then they have to reconstruct thoroughly and during the first 300-ish days they act silly as shit. i know where this goes, and all i know is it's not me. i'm tired of trying and looking after guys who won't give a shit about me since "you are too straightforward to make a man comfortable" and (new entry, just tonight) "i like sincerity, you should tell me exactly what you tell me but in a way i like to hear, i don't say understand me often but please understand me" (what am i, the scourge of the earth?). now, i do have values, do's and don'ts, but at this point i don't see why i should drop the bigshot attaché/lover hypothesis. i am so resentful and angry.

h

 

[|ngenius]

Okay, something on how she feels. Concerning the eternal quest for a guy, the fact is that your values are considerably high, and that's not necessarily bad or wrong. You're looking for something kinda unusual, specially in these times of fast thinking and less significance. (Yep, I'm sure that's pretty clear in your mind, girl, this is NOT a lesson). It's a hard goal, and you know: no pain, no gain.

Regarding your sincerity, you should ask yourself if you're bringing that sincerity the right way. Some people use to confuse their honest will to be sincere with the way they choose to spread it. The sincerity is a priceless part of a mature personality (imho), but it must be expressed in a measure to be understood. In my personal experience, I've a close friend who use to express her disagreements barking at you. And I really appreciate the help and accept the critics, but I prefer a more constructive way. "The kind of glass you drink the water from won't change the water's taste, but maybe a good glass will help the process of drinking" (Straight and fast translation from a spanish proverb).

Well, my little hyena with painful feelings, that's all. I'm also living times of desperation, times thinking why the hell I should wait when I have amounts of things to share, times thinking why every woman in my way is not that intelligent, searching for some values I didn't fixed consciously but I strictly demand for.

What can I say? The crappy stories might hurt, and everybody needs to be loved. Simple and complex at the time. I will keep searching, maybe she's living in China, who may knows?


|ngenius.


Btw: I'm sure you already realized that there are tones of men in permanent involution, so take care!

 

[Dark_Jester]

Let's face it, a man who is NOT involuted is not a man...
Half the problem is we are all idealists, bitter with life (I know, I know, contradiction in terms, but I think you'll all understand), looking for that perfect soemthing yet at the same time burdened with a supposed knowledge that the perfection does not exist...not much of a help, but thats how it is. Hyena, I feel for you, and |ngenius is right, we all search for love...maybe if you bide your time, if he really is worth it, isn't he worth waiting for?

Oh, and I'm not mentioning my romantical/relationship problems...they are too bitter and hurt too much to talk about (and if I wasn't smiling I would be crying...)

 

[Wolfman Von Jones]

Why look for the perfect person? Ahieving perfection is impossible. Im my experiances the only thing I've sound id there are people perfect for me at differant stages in my life (if you understand that). For instance right now im my life I feel as if my g/f is perfect for me, she might be perfect for me for the next 60 years I dont know. I know that even the shittiest relationships are learning experiances, so why be bitter about the past? It taught you something.

Nick( Im half asleep)

 

[rahvin]

why nobody has yet pointed out that someone who goes and tells hyena all this arrogant shit about how he deserves being treated is not that worthy a human being after all?
he still struggles with his previous failure, so maybe he's not the hurting kind, but that doesn't make him particularly gifted or mature or unique. honestly, i find this taking it out on someone who's trying to help you get out of a wreck absolutely childish and - knowing something about hyena's needs - worthy only to stay as far as possible from my friend.

rahvin.

 

[|ngenius]

@Rahvin: I don't think I diserve to be treated one way or another, neither that guy nor the rest of the world. But I know how I don't wanna be treated, notice the slight but significant variation. It means that if ppl around me treat me in a despective way, it won't like the experience so much, do you know what I mean?

The same goes for that guy, despite probably his childish behaviour, due to his hurting past or whatever (judging from my distance), it's quite unmature and lacks of coherence. Maybe that man doesn't worthwhile at all, but not because he depicts how he wanna be treated, you know. Everyone establish some rules about how far we let go the ppl in their relationship towards us, some of them have sense, others are simply excuses.


|ng.

 

[rahvin]

my guess is if you start asking for too much when somebody's already doing her best to provide something other ppl don't (i.e., telling you the truth), then you either don't want to hear the truth bad enough to accept a way it may come or you're a spoiled child who thinks these things are granted.
besides, hyena was being straightforward, not insensitive. it's insensitive if i tell you your former girlfriend is a cheating bastard you'll never see again because she likes to go out with a new toy every day. but it's straightforward if i tell you your ex-gf lied and kept things from you and it's a mistake to want her back.
what is neither sensitive nor straightforward is telling you how a poor soul you are and how you deserve being loved by women, men, gods and possibly robots.

rahvin.

 

[|ngenius]

I see. The misunderstood comes from the fact you're talking about hyena's concrete experience and I extrapolated the issue to general terms.

I consider myself as an inteligent robot, but I cannot talk eloquently about a concrete issue I don't know personally, maybe you're right and that man should die, or maybe he's only a prisoner of a depth fathomless feeling called love.


|ng.

 

[rahvin]

actually, in my view it is generally unpleasant to be faced by ppl who become so selective as to what they want to hear and how they want to hear it, regardless of hyena's personal experience. and i'm not sure this guy must die, but he certainly doesn't sound like a very responsible and upright individual if he chooses the comfort of white lies instead of some cold fact. it's all too easy to blame love for this, but strong emotions are bound to come your way sooner or later, and the way you react today is likely the way you'll feel like reacting tomorrow, unless a major change kicks in.

rahvin.

 

[hyena]

let me add one detail: he tells me i am too honest while complaining all the time that his ex wants to live in a magical world. he's mad at her since she chose some dimwit over him, i am confident he would choose her (a dimwit) over me; he's mad at her since she said he was too much of a realist and incapable of smoothing tunes, and he is accusing me of the very same thing. this is stupid. my problem is that i have gone without a boyfriend far too long and i'm a sucker for any hint of interest, i am at the lever where casual touches seem sweet. i should take drugs maybe, or just go for the other option. i think i will lay it on the line for him if i get the chance tonight, although now he's seeing her again (now as in "in this moment") and tonight i will break my oath of not losing sleep in order to talk to a guy once again. therefore, i'll sleep a bit now.

h

 

[|ngenius]

@Rahvin: We're running around the same bush all the time (no, not that Bush). I understand your pov, and I do agree, but I was pointing out that some people abuse of their treatment towards the others, and then you can find them reaching the limits of your patience. The case you're talking about possibly is the opposite, and that man complain all the time trying to change the others and their behavior.

@Hyena: I comprehend your feelings so well, 'cos I find similar ones in myself. They're normal, so let your mind/heart to decide about the "stupid" situation and don't worry.

Edit:

@|ngenius (yes, me!): You're living strange times too, feeling new sensations and starting to lose the hope on some people one day you trusted in. ¿How do you feel? Somehow weird in several senses of the word. You need some light, and you know that is quite common, everybody needs to find it, but you wonder about how hard it is in a way you didn't predict, the answer is lost and clouded, far from your sight, and that makes you feel disoriented. Now again, the answer is pretty clear without receive it from external fonts: you should keep on walking and stop complaining.



|ngenius (Life is often weird)

 

[rahvin]

@|ngenius: i think the answer is pretty lost and clouded all the time. wouldn't focus on closer problems perhaps be a better way to look for it? maybe in order to reach some level of satisfaction you need to first solve matters at hand.

rahvin.

 

[hyena]

i'm just sending him one email with the whole truth+ nothing but the truth. i hope i don't get executed by the powers that be for doing so.

h

 

[hyena]

oh, and no, the powers are not rahvin

h

 

[hyena]

ok, messed up rels=hyena so i have to post the last instalment of the story. i sent him that email and he said he'd reply (this was happening saturday), which obviously he didn't do at all, although this morning after three days of no-interaction-besides-necessary-politeness on my part he came up with some lame excuse, like i give a bu. he also had the brilliant idea of nyaah-nyahhing his ex with stuff like "i've seen your email, you cheated on me" so of course she changed her password and now i have no way of knowing what either of them is saying. this is not really relevant, but it shows all of you how stupid can one be.
now i am not suffering over this dickhead, since i realized he's one, but i am feeling a bit deceived nevertheless: i thought i wasn't coming across this sort of idiot anymore, or maybe i would recognize them at first sight. yesterday i had a poignant conversation on the subject with a friend and he pointed out some character traits i'd missed - nice additions to my kb. well, another game of mirrors i believe.

hyena (turntable)

 

[Wolfman Von Jones]

@Hyena, Im sorry to hear about that. Seriously though dont worry yourself about it. Obviously this guy was a moronic prick, and you should know that you will find someone better than that. I know that having no one to hold and love can really really suck very badly, but getting into the right relationship takes time, and patience. Some big sexy Italian stallion will come your way soon, I promise.

Nick

 

[hyena]

well, nick, no words can express how much i hope you are right

h