indifference is, of course, an enormous demonstration of sensitivity. i love it when people don't give a fuck about me. i do love it.
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DT Forum Members (and their messed up relationships)
- Thread starter Kovenant84
- Start date
Dark_Jester
Unrepentant sentient
rahvin, you do something, cos at least I won't be regretting what you did (and no, i'm not invoking his backup as a moderator, there is no case for moderation - quite obviously - here; i'm invoking his words and thoughts as my best friend, which is not a case-based role)
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rahvin
keeper of the flame
my thoughts and words... *deep sigh* :s
people have been hurt around here. i'm not sure how many have been, but hyena is in that number for sure.
she told her side of the story, which may or may not contain errors and misunderstandings. it is not for me to know. it is also not compulsory that those who do know talk - here or elsewhere - although i'm living in a candy-coated universe where if you want to get along with someone you try to talk to him/her about things involving both, and breaking up surely is one.
however, whenever you decide not to keep your silence, i'd say half-words and shady statements ought to be avoided because they're not sensitive enough when you know you're talking to someone that was hurt.
now, i get accused of being totally insensitive every other day, by all sorts of people, so i can see how it's unjust to judge over a single line of text. it might have been a mistake, it might have been done with good intentions.
still, i'm pretty sure it doesn't work. either some discussion - publicly or privately, as i said - takes place or i suggest no further comment on the part of those unwilling to talk.
this is about hyena. if it isn't, it ought to be. if it still isn't, it doesn't belong here unless there remains a will to be hurtful.
[i will remove this message if someone is uncomfortable with it]
rahvin.
people have been hurt around here. i'm not sure how many have been, but hyena is in that number for sure.
she told her side of the story, which may or may not contain errors and misunderstandings. it is not for me to know. it is also not compulsory that those who do know talk - here or elsewhere - although i'm living in a candy-coated universe where if you want to get along with someone you try to talk to him/her about things involving both, and breaking up surely is one.
however, whenever you decide not to keep your silence, i'd say half-words and shady statements ought to be avoided because they're not sensitive enough when you know you're talking to someone that was hurt.
now, i get accused of being totally insensitive every other day, by all sorts of people, so i can see how it's unjust to judge over a single line of text. it might have been a mistake, it might have been done with good intentions.
still, i'm pretty sure it doesn't work. either some discussion - publicly or privately, as i said - takes place or i suggest no further comment on the part of those unwilling to talk.
this is about hyena. if it isn't, it ought to be. if it still isn't, it doesn't belong here unless there remains a will to be hurtful.
[i will remove this message if someone is uncomfortable with it]
rahvin.
Dark_Jester
Unrepentant sentient
Well, sometimes talking in private doesn't work and no matter what you say people will make their own decisions and own opinions as is human nature...I merely suggested that private matters be kept private until thoroughly discussed so a true representation is given to those who would read. But twould seem that I am alone in that thought, and so I guess I retract that statement (bows and steps back)
Wolfman Von Jones
The trouble with you
Well look at it this way. There are certain things that should remain private, but when more than jsut the parties involved are talking about it, it becomes out in the open.
Now what happened between two people here sucks. I tried everything in my power to convince one of the persons otherwise, but I failed. I dont like when "friends" break up, or fight, or do anything that has some kind of negative reproccusions. Im not a fucking miracle worker so I cant help sometimes.
Well with all that aside, I'd like to say that this whole situation is fucked up. Its over, feelings were hurt, things were said but everyone moved on with it. It's life, shit happens and you have to deal.
Nick
Now what happened between two people here sucks. I tried everything in my power to convince one of the persons otherwise, but I failed. I dont like when "friends" break up, or fight, or do anything that has some kind of negative reproccusions. Im not a fucking miracle worker so I cant help sometimes.
Well with all that aside, I'd like to say that this whole situation is fucked up. Its over, feelings were hurt, things were said but everyone moved on with it. It's life, shit happens and you have to deal.
Nick
rahvin
keeper of the flame
@dark_jester: private discussions are likely to be my favourite choice, too, so i agree with that. they usually work, or at least they work better than nothing or public statements. i merely got the impression that there were no discussions of the sort going on: forgive my mistake. 
rahvin.
rahvin.
there weren't, actually. unless you call a discussion a situation where one of the parties asks questions and the other one replies but will not confront the topic if not directly asked. and, as you can see, won't even if asked or provoked directly.
anyway, everyone (esp rahvin ) can go to hell now, it's just another one of these situations where i collide with other people's notions that a wall of silence is better than an open discussion. now hope i don't have any free time because i'm about to post the whole story here, sticking to the facts. i'm getting annoyed and hell hath no fury like a bubu scorned.
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anyway, everyone (esp rahvin
) can go to hell now, it's just another one of these situations where i collide with other people's notions that a wall of silence is better than an open discussion. now hope i don't have any free time because i'm about to post the whole story here, sticking to the facts. i'm getting annoyed and hell hath no fury like a bubu scorned.h
rahvin
keeper of the flame
@hyena: i'm gonna pick you up on my way to hell, we'll listen to blood for blood along the way, which is, as the saying goes, paved with good intentions and cheese.
rahvin.
rahvin.
Wolfman Von Jones
The trouble with you
Bring me along, I can cook for you .
Talk to me people, I almost broke up with my g/f tonight. The situation is really fucking stupid, I got pissed b/c my g/f asks me for advice, and vents to me all the time. Which I have no problem at all, if your in a relationship you should listen t oand be concerned with the problems of your mate, but when ever I give advice, or say anything I feel like she doesnt listen, I feel like Im talking to a fucking wall sometimes. Tonight was the straw that broke the camels back, we started fighting, and we got really mean. WE both said hurtful things, but now things are better, we calmed down and started acting like adults again. Sorry jsut wanted to talk.
Nick
.Talk to me people, I almost broke up with my g/f tonight. The situation is really fucking stupid, I got pissed b/c my g/f asks me for advice, and vents to me all the time. Which I have no problem at all, if your in a relationship you should listen t oand be concerned with the problems of your mate, but when ever I give advice, or say anything I feel like she doesnt listen, I feel like Im talking to a fucking wall sometimes. Tonight was the straw that broke the camels back, we started fighting, and we got really mean. WE both said hurtful things, but now things are better, we calmed down and started acting like adults again. Sorry jsut wanted to talk.
Nick
Sunjammer
Eternal Sorrow Inside
BigFakeSmile
toe much love!
if you are young and unmarried, and the misery/fun equation of your relationship has slipped in the wrong direction, I am all for breaking up. im also evil though, so you probably want to listen to the better and more tempered advice of your friends from the board...
rahvin
keeper of the flame
@bigfakesmile: since you're evil i have to assume the wrong direction you were referring to is when a relationship becomes too much fun and too little misery?
rahvin.
rahvin.
BigFakeSmile
toe much love!
Wolfman Von Jones
The trouble with you
Well its not really like it slipped into mysery, its ok now. We talked out our problems, and I actually feel that it has brought us closer together. I mean I was about to be like "Fuck you, I dont want you anymore." Since we were so close to leaving each other then for some reason we worked things out, I think that shows how much we truly love each other.
Nick
Nick
@Nick: There is no perfect relationship, they all have their probs. Everyone can get angry or annoyed by certain things and fight. But i guess that being able to talk the problems out and get closer is one of the most important things in a relationship.
Btw, as someone who has often given the impression of a wall to advice-givers, i'd suggest you to tell her how you feel about this in case you haven't already done it (my guess is you have, but anyway), and to think of the possibility that it might just _appear_ she doesn't take into account whatever you say to her.
Btw, as someone who has often given the impression of a wall to advice-givers, i'd suggest you to tell her how you feel about this in case you haven't already done it (my guess is you have, but anyway
), and to think of the possibility that it might just _appear_ she doesn't take into account whatever you say to her. 
wildfyr
unus spiritus est
it seems i have an update of my own to add here.
apparently my ex-bf, Christopher, is back on the available list (for now). he picked me up from the airport when i came from TX.
we got caught up on some things.
he's finally got himself a computer but he's still a really green n00b.
i told him i'd trade him computer/computer use lessons in return for guitar lessons.
maybe not so crazy?
apparently my ex-bf, Christopher, is back on the available list (for now).
he picked me up from the airport when i came from TX. we got caught up on some things.
he's finally got himself a computer but he's still a really green n00b.
i told him i'd trade him computer/computer use lessons in return for guitar lessons.
maybe not so crazy?
rahvin
keeper of the flame
@wildfyr: with hindsight, i don't think starting again an old relationship is such a great idea, although of course it depends on the circumstances. generally speaking, it seems to me that the brand new has many more things to say than the seen before.
rahvin.
rahvin.
wildfyr
unus spiritus est
rahvin: this "relationship" was officially over in September of 1999. however, in early 2002 the ex in question must have been getting fed-up, bored, tired, or all of the above with the bitch he dumped me for because he initiated contact with me again. But, he did not quite cut his ties with her during that time as i so painfully found out in April at the Iced Earth/In Flames show. they were there together and she was ragging at me like there was no tomorrow. it could have easily turned into a physically violent catfight and i soo wanted to rip those dorky noserings right out of her fat fucking face! but it didn't come to that. i continued receiving vulgar voicemail messages from her until i finally got fed up and called her back. she didn't pick up the phone so i had to leave my own vm message to her. not one swear word came out of my mouth. i was proud of myself. i told her if she wished to speak to me like a grown-up i'd talk to her. i also told her maybe she would learn something, too.
well, i guess they (Chris and Carrie) officially called it quits last October. apparently she's back in school in Hawaii and he's still here, and connected!
btw, i don't plan on crying over him again (hopefully), so past mistakes can and will be referred to and hopefully learned from in the here and now.
i told her if she wished to speak to me like a grown-up i'd talk to her. i also told her maybe she would learn something, too. well, i guess they (Chris and Carrie) officially called it quits last October. apparently she's back in school in Hawaii and he's still here, and connected!
btw, i don't plan on crying over him again (hopefully), so past mistakes can and will be referred to and hopefully learned from in the here and now.
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