fart limits

ante

ante

awwww
Jun 28, 2001
6,316
634
113
49
in my mental room
Visit site
Hi!

I´m sorry if this is spam, I dont spam much but it´s about faggin time now....
I almost died on my way home today, someone (I know who because his face was like -> :rolleyes: ) released a reeeeeeally bad fart :ill: and it didnt go away!! I´d say 10 sec max should be limit, more then that is nono, I mean....why the flying FUCK do they have to let it go on a bus?? they sit there for 15 min, can´t they wait??? :confused:
I coudn´t breath for folks sake
here in sweden they discuss (if not alreaady) it´s a law that ciggarettes are forbidden on pubs, well I think what happend today should be discussed too
sorry
bye
 
ROTFLMAO.gif
 
see. . .here is were a test Fart comes in handy. . .what is a test fart you say. . .ill tell you

You ever have to fart, on a bus, or a plane, or anyother crowded place, and yet you havent been farting all that day? What you must do, in a situation like that, is release a TEST FART. In order to Release a Test Fart, you must release about 10-15 percent of the total fart. In Order to see if those around you can handle it. It is often wise to engage in an act of subterfuge, such as, reaching for a magazine. "Saaaaay. . .is that golf digest." *reach* *Test Fart* *sniff sniff* Well that doesn't smell too horrifying, in fact in an odd way its rather pleasant. I think they ought enjoy the rest of this baby. *Full fart* And it turns out to be, one of those fart that could kill cancer; a fart that after 30 minutes your plants are all yellow; a fart that after 2 or 3 days, you begin to notice, there are no more birds in your neighborhood; A fart that could cook bacon. And everyone around you heads for the exit. . .even the ones on the airplane.
 
Beans dont do shit, but ill tell you what does. Cheese, cabbage, and Beer. Maybe a little brussel sprouts. this is helpful if you are thinking about repainting or putting up new wallpaper.
 
bobvex said:
see. . .here is were a test Fart comes in handy. . .what is a test fart you say. . .ill tell you

You ever have to fart, on a bus, or a plane, or anyother crowded place, and yet you havent been farting all that day? What you must do, in a situation like that, is release a TEST FART. In order to Release a Test Fart, you must release about 10-15 percent of the total fart. In Order to see if those around you can handle it. It is often wise to engage in an act of subterfuge, such as, reaching for a magazine. "Saaaaay. . .is that golf digest." *reach* *Test Fart* *sniff sniff* Well that doesn't smell too horrifying, in fact in an odd way its rather pleasant. I think they ought enjoy the rest of this baby. *Full fart* And it turns out to be, one of those fart that could kill cancer; a fart that after 30 minutes your plants are all yellow; a fart that after 2 or 3 days, you begin to notice, there are no more birds in your neighborhood; A fart that could cook bacon. And everyone around you heads for the exit. . .even the ones on the airplane.
Click to expand...
:lol: I agree completely , quite good idea actually, like a smell/sound check...
problem is when people doesnt think about other people :erk:
 
ante said:
:lol: I agree completely , quite good idea actually, like a smell/sound check...
problem is when people doesnt think about other people :erk:
Click to expand...
for a moment, i thought you were profanity. but your comment wasn't asinine, so i actually thought, "omg, he's smarter than he lets on."

then i noticed NY ANDERS :p

funny thread, though. wouldn't say it's spam if it's something that could be discussed at length :D

can't people just... hold it in? really, is it that difficult??
 
eww i hate farts! especially in small places... and then the person who done it goes red and straight away blames someone else without anyone even smelling it lol... fools!! :D
 
the best thing to do is go into fits of hysterical laughter and then become completely nonchalant about it. it doesn't work, but it's fun and no one can do anything about it because they're paralysed by the stench.
 
One day last week I was working in an office building and I had the worst gas. The worst part was that I'd look around to make sure nobody was in the immediate area before I released it, and then every time somebody would walk around the corner or come out a door within a few seconds of 'the event'... Fuckin' embarrassing...

There's another guy I work with who is absolutely horrible when it comes to flatulence. He eats almost nothing but fast food all the time, and he feels no shame in letting rip with a class 5 fart when we're working in a closed office. I've actually made him go out to the parking lot until his gas was gone before.
 
one of my best friends, who studies philosophy, tends to develop theories also about the most trivial things. farts are in the number.
he said that in a couple, when one isn't embarassed to fart in front of his/her loved one anymore, it is a good sign, because this means that the first period of the relationship - when both parts are likely to show the other only the good sides of the person - is over. his theory is a bit more accurate than the way i'm reporting it; for example, it doesn't apply to the case where the man (let's admit it: are mostly men who fart with an audience) started to fart in front of the girl from day one: in that case he's just a pig.
now, since i kind of see the point behind this theory, i'm sort of happy to notice that my relationship with lee is very intimate, i know that there is nothing we wouldn't say to each other, and it really seems we are as one. nonetheless, i'd be glad if he acted like i do: farts are not meant to be shared!


edit: to answer ante, where he compares farts to smoking in public places when it comes to the legislative aspect. imagine both laws are approved: you can't neither smoke nor fart in public places. but while when someone smokes where he shouldn't, it's easy to know who is smoking, 'cause we see it, i wouldn't want to have to go around smelling people's arses to discover who's to blame when a fart is released! :erk:

one last thing: i don't wanna live in a world where to smoke in pubs is not allowed. it would be like reading "we don't sell beers here" :yell:
 
A guy farted on the classroom the other day,or maybe it was a girl,and it was fucking gross cause it was smelly as hell and we were sitting in the back and it was fucking crowded so we couldn't run away or scream or do nothing.We just had to try not to breathe
 
I always fart on public transport, it's funny as. Watching people do that face as they sorta sniff and realised someone has farted is great.

GREAT I TELL YOU.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

mousewings
People with Yahoo email or ID accounts or eBay accounts should read this.
Replies
0
Views
178
Chat
mousewings
M
Anssi
Is this bad luck?
Replies
8
Views
757
Chat
tcall
T
IRoN
They were definitely Giants!
Replies
64
Views
1K
Chat
mr. tokmak
M
ChaosWithoutProphecy
Suicide Shift status??!
Replies
18
Views
559
Testament
Officer Nice
O
mousewings
People with Yahoo email or ID accounts or eBay accounts should read this.
Replies
11
Views
391
Vintersorg
DeadWinterDead
D
Top Bottom
Back