Fuck lager, drink real ale
I've pissed tastier things than Bud, Carlsberg or any other such nonsense after a good night out (not to say I won't drink it in order to get the job done, but hardly savour the flavour). As for anything with light in the name, I'd rather tie one testicle a piece to a couple of horses and send them galloping in opposing directions than drink it.
I have to credit whoever it was that listed Fuller's ESB and Sammy Smiths in their post, respect due. Other than that, Newkie Brown, best ale? The day Tyne water is good ale is the day I'm cold in my grave.
If you're British, get yourself something from the Wychwood, Batemans or any other number of quality breweries (there are literally 1000's). If you're European, get yourself some nice (i.e. not Hoegaarden) white or red beer (12% ABV and beyond, and goes down in anarchy inducing quantities). And if you're American- YOU LOOSE. Import something.
Other than that, drink real cider. And if you want to get REALLY messed REALLY quickly, mead is the way forward.
Yours, pissed whilst writing this,
James