Favorite Simpsons quotes!

[MadeInNewJersey]

*Bart walks into the Kwikie-Mart, grabs a bag of ice (with Mr.Burns's bear BoBo's head inside)*

Apu: "Ooohhh, a head bag. Full of heady goodness!"

 

[mentalmeltdown]

Homer Simpson: "They have Internet on computers now?"

 

[nafnikufesin]

Homer: "To start, press any key. Where's the 'any' key?"

 

[SlaughterofSoul]

Ralph:My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Ralph:My cat's name is Mittens.

Bart:Two wrongs make a right.
Lisa:No They Don't.
Bart:Yes they do.
Lisa: Dad, do two wrongs make a right?
Homer:Yes Lisa, they do.

 

[ImmortalCorruptor]

Ralph Wiggum : Me fail English ? That's unpossible !

 

[Jeffasin]

Homer: You suck-diddley-uck Flanders!

j

 

[Thy Inamorato]

ahaha so many here already...

dunno if it's already been done..

homer: how can you put that filth in your mouths?!
marge: my caserole is not filth! kids, eat your filth!
homer:from now on i eat all my foods in bar form. that is why i haave compressed this 25 pound bowl of spaghetti into a convenient bite size
(eats)mmmm
(picks up phone) hospital please

 

[Bass Fellow]

Krusty playing piano at a party: "Did ya here the one about the piano with a 12 inch pianist?....HOO-HOO-HEY-HEY...Better not tell that one"

 

[augdawg2]

Hurrican episode

Homer: woo hoo, the hurrican is over!

Lisa: But dad, this might just be the eye of the hurricane

Homer: no Lisa, look how eeirly calm it is. Hey, I don't remember that bowling alley being up there?

Cheerz!

AugDawg

 

[Fat Drunk and Stupid]

"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs"

"I've gone back to a time when dinosaurs wern't just confined to zoos!"

Well, you bought all those smoke alarms, and we haven't had a single fire.

"Barney you have to be sober to fly a helicopter. It's not like driving a car."

"The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers"

"Oh Marge, roads are just a suggestion, like pants!"

"I don't believe in god but if your up there, please help me superman!"

"I'm drunk on our love.......and beer."

 

[ThraxDude]

Marge: That's not God, that's just a waffle Bart threw up there [on the ceiling].

Homer (gets waffle off of ceiling with broom): Well God, I know I shouldn't eat thee.....*chomp*....mmmmm...sacrilicious.

 

[bRaTpRiNcEsS]

(Marge is talking about TV shows)
Home: Okay. Whatever takes my mind off my life.

 

[SlaughterofSoul]

The Critic: So what was it, a pimple or a boil?
Homer: Neither, it was a gummy bear.

Homer(while asleep at Grimey's funeral): Marge, change the channel.

 

[DarkNoise]

my signature for one... and "oooh, they have the internet on computers now".

 

[nafnikufesin]

For those of us that have kids or will soon have them:

"I bought this sign that says 'Baby on board'. Now maybe people will stop intentionally ramming the back of our car."

 

[IcedEarth556]

Homer:"Knowing that I have helped another human being is all the thanks I etc..."

Sideshow Bob:"Oh especially Lisa but especially Bart."

 

[nafnikufesin]

Marge: "Homer, running a bar is a full-time job. And you don't even do your real job full-time."

 

[bRaTpRiNcEsS]

Homer: I want answers now or I want them eventually.

 

[Jeffasin]

Marge: The Lord only asks for an hour a week.

Homer: In that case, he should have made the week an hour longer. Lousy God.

j

 

[Anarchy X]

The mighty mr. simpson:

Hey! I worked long and hard for this house! And NO one's going to take that away from me! Not YOU, not it's rightful OWNER, NO ONE! (takes giant drink of wine) And another thing! If I (collapses on floor)

classic.